When is it safe for a toddler to be in the bath alone?

[sugaryouth1]

My toddler is 2 and a half. Slightly over. I've always sat with her in the bathroom while she has a wash. I've started pottering about upstairs while she's in the bath. I'm always on the same level in the house as her. Our house is tiny so I'm literally at most 3 steps away from the bathroom. In the last month she never stops talking. And I mean never stops talking so I can hear her in the bath. If she goes quiet I poke my head round.

All I'm doing is occasionally putting washing away. Getting her pyjamas out.

I would never go downstairs.

Is this safe? I'm a first time mum and I do have anxiety. My husband has said it's fine and I shouldn't worry. But I am. Part of my therapy and medication is to help me do things I'm not comfortable with and I'm not sure whether I'm uncomfortable with this as a part of my anxiety.

You can't seriously imagine it was their ability to swim that ensured they didn't drown, rather than dumb luck?! Jesus.

@carriedout no, neither would I, but my point was, not leaving them alone in the BATH when they're 8 is nuts!.

I didn't leave the room until ds was 7. Even then I would be in and out every couple of mins, putting things away etc. You can't ever leave a toddler, things can happen fast!

I definitely wouldn't leave the room while a toddler was in the bath. A small child could so easily slide under the water with no warning and not make a sound loud enough to be heard outside the room. And I don't think I'm overly anxious about these things.

You should stay in the bathroom until done .. never leave the room even for a few seconds

I used to clean the bathroom whilst dc sat in the tub when they were little. That way I could give a quick clean and bathroom was always clean. We had two bathrooms so I alternated.

You're not an idiot at all. I've been a pretty relaxed mother, but IMO there are things you don't f+ck about with, getting run over, including drowning, falling out of a window, getting electrocuted, and this is one of them. You're instincts are right.

I agree. Not worth the risk, wait another year or so, you might get distracted by something ( even though you think you won’t) and it only takes a few seconds to drown at this age.
the tip about cleaning the sink etc while dc is having a bath is a good one. Or just sit and relax for a few minutes !!

My daughter when she was much older than a toddler slipped and badly broken her arm in the bath. I don’t think I left mine until they were old enough to wash their hair etc on their own.

Many perinatal appointments in my area are at the woman's home so the clinician likely had physically seen the room before giving the advice.

If it is a case like @ItstheZwartbles has described where you have full view of the bath from an adjacent room, you possibly could be folding some clothes with eyes on her but I would not move so a toddler was out of my line of sight.

There is a lot of misinformation - the PP who wrongly seem to think that their child being able to swim means they are safe unsupervised is a classic example. They don't swim in their bath - the concern is them falling and then drowning which takes just a few cm of water.

Speak to your perinatal worker again and ask for clarification on exactly what she meant, I wouldn't take advise from strangers on the internet. Especially considering the severity of your anxiety

I'd never leave mine alone in the bath, not for a second. Drowning is silent and can happen very quickly.

Do other things to stretch yourself, but trust your gut on this one OP.

No. My 2.5 year old can’t get up by himself if he falls in the bath. Too risky.

Never in my opinion. Drowning is silent.

A toddler can drown in a puddle.
I'd just make it a quick bath and find something else she can play at on her own.

I think it's fine if:

Your child is sensible in the bath so sits nicely rather than climbing up the side and won't play with the taps etc.

You are literally seconds away for a very brief time to fetch something / put something away and won't be distracted by other children needing you etc.

Your can hear your child talking / actively playing continuously when not in sight.

By age 2.5, most children would be safe as per the above.

It is too risky to leave your baby in the bathtub.

It absolutely isn't a good idea and a baby under 3 can never be trust to be "sensible". My son appeared sensible with roads at aged 5, but once he shot out.

I think it is totally normal for a baby or toddler to not stay overnight with grandparents etc . That just seems fairly standard to me, not anxiety ! A two year old is still basically a baby, and most of them don’t want to stay overnight anywhere without their Mummy.
I was about six before I stayed overnight somewhere without my Mum, and my parents were typical sixties/seventies parents, not particularly anxious.

Of course there will be some toddlers who will be happy staying over with Grandparents, where they are very close to them, and have a lovely time. But not many want to , in my experience.
Your daughter is a toddler, not a teenager, I don’t understand this idea that you are somehow “supposed” to be separating from her, why ? I would have though enforcing separation would make you more anxious, not less.

My dh left my DS who is nearly 4 this week. I went up when I realised and found ds had put the hot tap on and was sitting in extremely hot water. We were lucky, he didn't seem bothered! And I poured cold water over him quickly but dh hadn't a clue. If I hadn't checked it could have gone very badly.

I do this but my daughter is 3.5.

That said, on Mumsnet you're going to get alot of people telling you not to do it and your child will surely die if you do.

Meanwhile, in the real world...

Of all the things you could do to work on your anxiety, leaving a 2 year old alone in the bath is a pretty wild one to choose. Why would you?

I used to get DS's older brother to entertain him in the bath whilst I got things done but never left him alone as a toddler. He would probably have soaked the floor if unsupervised. Unfortunately now aged 10 he still wants entertainment and company whilst in the bath so the washing is still unfolded 🤦🏻‍♀️.
There's nothing anxious about supervising a young child in the bath, just proper old fashioned common sense. Believe in your instincts

That said, on Mumsnet you're going to get alot of people telling you not to do it and your child will surely die if you do.

Meanwhile, in the real world...

In the real world children drown in the bath, including children a few years older than toddlers. No it's not a guarantee that it'll happen and that they'll die if it does but it's a very real risk as is the risk of brain damage even if they're successfully resuscitated.

A quick Google shows many cases where it has happened, yes in the real world. What's interesting is how many children were described as having been laughing and singing before, so perhaps not a cue to be relied upon, and how many were apparently left only for seconds/a minute/to grab a towel.

And no, you're far from being an idiot OP. You were given terrible advice by someone you should have been able to trust. That wasn't your fault.

The medical professionals know the truth re how long the kids were left. My SIL is a paediatrics nurse. They had someone recently who left their child for a few seconds. All the staff agreed the brain damage that the child had had was a consequence of more than a few seconds.

Parents aren’t honest. I think for many people it’s more habitual than they’d like to admit. People get comfortable and extend the times and misrepresent.