I’m a bit crap with my toddler

[Stilllosingmyhats]

This isn’t a thread about regretting parenthood, I don’t, but I’m not very good with toddlers and I feel like my toddler is getting a bit of a raw deal as a result.

He is 2 years and 3 months and he’s fairly good - he has the odd tantrum which is normal and I don’t have any concerns re his development. However, I do feel like I’m reading another language on here when I read about things like colouring, tuff trays, helping me with housework or baking/cooking. I honestly think that the only result of any of these would be the most god awful mess, it would probably take ages to set up and I think he’d possibly look at it or throw some flour around for five minutes then wander off.

He just seems to enjoy toy cars (indoors.) He is more engaged outside and will play for a while rotating a little tykes car, playing with a toy lawnmower / filling up a truck with stones. But I can’t interest him in anything indoors for any length of time really.

I suppose I’m wondering are we all in the same boat here? I know all children are different but I don’t think any of the activities that are generally suggested would be enjoyable or interesting to him.

By far the best entertainment was in the better weather to plonk them on the patio with a bowl of water and some paintbrushes. Kept mine entertained for hours 🤣

My sons 4 and I've never really done baking or cooking with him only the odd fairy cake packet mix.
He doesn't play by himself very well though and we do have a tuff tray for things like slime and playdough which he loves. To me it just keeps the mess contained and better than on the table.

I don’t really do any messy play at home either and I’m finding most of the replies here reassuring. 16mo DD is always allowed to (and usually does!) make a mess at meal times, not by throwing but she’s allowed to squash the food or ‘paint’ with the sauce on her high chair table etc, I’ve seen recipes for edible play dough and paint but never seem to have the time to make them and I think I’d spend far longer making them than she would using them. Haven’t attempted baking with her and our garden isn’t child friendly.

She goes to nursery 2 days per week and gets music group and messy play there.

Mine and/ or DH’s days with her we mostly go out- to parks, play cafes, toddler groups, go for walks, library, visit family or friends, soft play, swimming, trips to supermarket or shops like ikea etc. Her absolute favourite thing to do right now is go up and down steps whilst holding our hands, she can have a ball doing that for ages.

At home we read, stack blocks, put rings on a pyramid or wear them as “bracelets”, play with instruments, put things into and out of boxes/ tubs/ baskets (another favourite), draw with aqua play mat, try to colour but inevetably have to stop after the sixth time she’s put a crayon in her mouth, have baths with loads of bubbles and bath toys, she helps unload the dishwasher or put washing into baskets if she’s in the mood, help her climb on and off of the couch, she goes on her rocking horse, play with balls, sing and dance to music, do jigsaw puzzles (she just takes the pieces out at the moment), she walks about with her pull along doggy, she loves pretending to type on the keyboard, and yes we do a very small amount of screen time, I’ll put CBeebies on for half an hour in mornings which to be honest she’ll only half watch whilst pottering about, and later I might let her play on a CBeebies app for 15 mins or watch videos of herself or take photos of herself using my phone camera or watch some miss Rachel on YouTube, we also do video calls with family which she enjoys for a short while.

I don’t think you sound like your crap at all! Like others have said being outside is so good for one thing.

Does he go to nursery? If so they do all the messy stuff there and I don’t think you need to do it every day! I go to a toddler church play group which does some messy stuff there.

We do tuff trays etc at home but minimal mess ones! Also water play is a super easy one and if you do it outside or in the bath there’s no mess. You can join Facebook groups or Instagram pages for really simple ideas. We do colouring and sticker books at home which are also minimal mess.

I thought the same about baking with my 20m old but we actually did bake some cupcakes this week and she really enjoyed it. It was pretty messy though but we have been indoors alot due to illnesses recently so I wanted to do something different.

My LO does enjoy these activities and I definitely wouldn’t bother if it was over after 5 mins!

I found a huge difference between 2 and 3 in their ability to participate in this kind of stuff. I don’t do much craft or messy play but am quite keen to involve DS in cooking, housework, gardening etc. I wouldn’t have attempted baking before he was 2 but at nearly 3 he can just about crack an egg, mix, chop soft veg and fruit, fill cake cases and read the digits off the scales etc. He will also sweep the floor, put stuff in washing machine, help clean windows, put away his stuff from dishwasher, put clothes away etc. Clearly it’s all very slow and not always that helpful but he likes to feel useful and I think it’s good for him to see the process. I’m hoping that being involved in household stuff early will mean that he grows up expecting to have to help round the house (and maybe takes over the cooking in a few years!) but we shall see. I’m quite conscious of this as a single parent to two boys whose dad did very little round the house and could barely boil an egg.

I don’t like mess but don’t want that to limit DS’s activities too much. I’ve compromised on baking, lots of water and sand play and pencils / crayons but have never put a load of food in a tuff tray and let DS squelch about in it etc.