Men staring at daughter (aged 7)

[Billydaffodil]

I feel a bit shocked and scared really as my 7year old has just asked me:

"What do you do about people staring at you?" I said "children at school do you mean?" "No, in town. And it's adults really." "Men or women or both?" "Both. But mostly men. When I look away and look back, they're still staring."
"Are they smiling usually?" "No."

I just hate the thought of not only this happening, but so much so that she has noticed.

I just don't know what to advise her and all I can think is I need to get her self defence classes...! I've spoken to her again about never going with a stranger no matter what they say.

Any advice I'd be really grateful for.

I wouldn't make it into a big thing.

Just ask her to tell you about it when if it happens again. Let her know you're listening, and believe her, but try not to transfer your own adult anxieties onto her worldview - at age 7.

Have you noticed people staring at her?

Are you with her in town? Do you not notice?

Are you sure people are staring at her?

I might be naive but people are probably just looking and thinking "what a sweet kid" rather than anything more malevolent?

Another vote for don't make this a negative.

Of course she's way too young for self defense. She's also too young to hear that she might need it- imo.

Kids are usually up to the most interesting stuff and it's normal for people to look.

Given that your daughter is too young to be left on her own I really think you're putting your negative context onto this.

Just say, well, perhaps you were doing something interesting? But if you feel scared, tell the adult with you. That's it.

" I'd just say maybe they liked your outfit or your bag? But next time, why don't you tell Mummy or show me who it is? "

I swear this same thread was posted recently.

This never happened.

Just not the kind of language a 7 year old would use.

Why would someone make it up? 🤔

Presumably you're with ehr in town and have not noticed these people staring so it's likely she's exaggerating the extent at which people are staring.

Unless of course there is no one there and she's alone in which case it's totally reasonable for people to be looking and wondering where the adult is and why she is alone.

Hope you are with her, when in town.

Try harder

There are some weird people on mumsnet!

My GD is 8 and wouldn't use language like it either

Have you ever noticed people staring at her? Try being more observant. It seems an odd statement for such a young child to come out with. I would find it more understandable if she had an obvious disability.

Surely a 7 year old is always in the company of a responsible adult. If anyone was staring the adult would notice.

This doesn't seem particularly believable.

I'm gonna say most men are not interested in 7yo children

I'm gonna say most men are not interested in 7yo children

And the ones that are, aren’t going to be staring at them when their parent is right next to them!

Where are you when she’s in town getting stared at??

Teach her (and practice) how to get help safely if she needs it.

I taught my kids; if it's day time and there's a shop or cafe nearby , go in and speak to a person who works there (clue, uniform; standing by till) and say "can you help me please".

Otherwise, look for a safe adult person and ask them. A safe adult person is someone in a un iform (lollipop person, police officer). Or, a mum with children, or a lady with white hair.

You can play " that person looks like a safe helper" when you're out and about with her.

Hi all, we're getting a few reports about this thread. Although we can never vouch for anyone, the OP has been with us for over a decade and never given us cause for concern. Please do continue to report anything we should take a look at, thanks.

This. Creepy post actually.

Have you noticed it OP? Surely you would if you are with her?
Is there something distinctive or unusual about your child?

Agree