Is this too long for 15 month old baby to play by himself?

[christmasmagic]

Thoughts?

I do a night shift every Wednesday night, I get home around 8am and go to bed for 4/5 hours.

My boyfriend works from home on Thursdays so I can get some sleep.we have a play room for the baby and the dining table over the baby fence which is where my boyfriend works so he can watch him. My baby is 15 months and he's totally happy playing away with himself and my boyfriend will obv acknowledge him now and again whilst working.

But is this bad? My boyfriends sister asked how does he work when I'm in bed and I said he just plays away in the play room and she said "awww poor baby" and I do get guilty about it so I only ever really get a small amount of sleep because I'll be upstairs feeling bad about it and come down.

Is this a long time to just leave a baby to it by themself?

I am not sure what the issue is
how long does the baby play? Assuming he’s crawling at 15 months or certainly vocal your BF must be keeping a close eye on him so he’s not on his own

So the baby is left in the pen for 4-5hours???

Every baby is diff

I’m really really surprised if a 15minutes old genuinely plays happily by themselves for that long.

Your SIL sounds like she needs to butt out with the silly comments
You need rest after working a shift; your BF is with the baby
I do not see an issue - you’re making it work as parents with working patterns which aren’t standard

Sorry, posted too soon! Every baby is different to say so it’s hard to judge without knowing your little one. There is no way my son would have played by himself for that long at that age, he’d
have been bored and seeking attention and stimulation from us. If your child is happy, fed and has water then only you can know if this is ok really.

It's not like he's contained in a small pen btw our dining room is attached to our living room and we took the doors off and put a baby fence across so he could have the full room as a play room so he has plenty of space to roam.

But yes as long as he is fed and isn't ready for a nap he's happy to play away.

This worries me - it’s highly unusual for a 15 month old to be happy with minimal input for that long.

Great if yours is different, but are you sure he’s not being ignored when he does want something, or has learnt not to bother making a fuss because no one responds?

So the baby naps during this time?

Yeah I think limited supervision for that length of time is pretty unusual

I don't think you should feel guilty as you need to sleep but I don't think it is good for a child that age to be left to play alone for so long.
Does your boyfriend talk to him during this time or play with him at all?
Would it be possible for you to organise some other childcare while you sleep?

My dd at 12 months will also happily potter around for 60/90 mins or so if we are with her in the pen and/or in the room engaging with her and within that time will entertain herself "exploring" for 10-15min bursts.

But she would need water/snacks /nappy change after that time and even with lots of adult interaction would be done after 2 hours max.
Forr context, our playroom is 6x5m and the pen is large (2.5 x 4 m) and has a very good selection of toys books and activities thanks to v enthusiastic grandparents.

She would no way happily stay in that room for 4-5 hours.

The fact your baby is happy with no input for that long would really concern me from a developmental pov.

If baby is happy then sounds ideal. ESP if only one morning a week. Babies / children need to learn to amuse themselves

For 4-5 hours, no. That’s a long time with no interaction

She has a break to nap and eat, though? Like, she’s not just plonked there to roam around like a baby goat in a petting zoo for all that time?

it’s a great skill to learn, being able to potter, explore and amuse themselves. But not for this length of time while sporadically being ‘acknowledged’ by an adult.

However I’m not sure what the answer is as you obviously have to sleep!

This. Far far too long and very worrying you think , anyone thinks, it's ok. They need interaction and stimulation. This has made me so sad.

Trying to figure out how this works… so your bf gives her breakfast etc, then she goes in at like 8am? Til 1pm? surely in that time she’d need a mid morning snack, then lunch and be well ready for a nap if not already asleep by 12ish? Nappy changes etc? If he is really not checking her until she yells out what if she’s done a poo? Is she sitting in it? Mine was very independent but I think 4-5 hours is an incredibly long time.

So can I point out between 8-12/1 he's been given breakfast and snacks and nappy changes. Also a lot of the time he has a nap around 11, then usually I'll come down to give him his lunch at lunch time.

I was a bit vague in my post. But in the in between time he genuinely is very happy playing by himself whilst I catch up on sleep and my boyfriend works. (He still speaks to him whilst working) and will stop for a five/ten minute play every so often. But for the most part is working.

We don't have any help with child care and we have to make it work between the two of us.

Also if he has started to get bored with his toys my boyfriend will put educational baby tv on for him like 'ms Rachel' to pass some of the time for him also.

I think it’s way too long Every week.

Really your partner need to just not work until 12pm, and get those 9-12 hours moved to evening ( which I assume he can do fairly easily seeing as he’s working from home with baby anyway usually).

So on that day bf has baby 8-12. He take out somewhere so baby gets time out and you can sleep. Then gives baby early lunch and puts down for nap at 11.45am. He works 3hrs later that day in evening.
You then get to sleep 8am- baby wakes from nap at 1-2pm

I can see how the playpen across the rooms and the tv works.

But I don't think it is healthy for a 15 months old to have so little interaction with parents/other children. If he would go to nursery a few days a week I would say its fine but if he is only with you and your boyfriendImost times I don't think it is.

Do you take him to baby/toddler clubs? How is he with other children?

My 3 year old won’t entertain himself for more than 5 mins and I can’t work at home with him in the house - so your little one sounds a dream!

@Tina8800 I take him to a playgroup once or twice a week usually for a couple of hours. And often most weekends we go to a different type of play area or visit family etc.

He sees a lot of his younger cousin who is 6 she lives a few doors down and adores him. He's the youngest in the family and I don't have a lot of friends with babies. However he sees young children often x

I think he sounds fine. As children we weren't ever played with - just left to our own devices. His dad is watching him and if he was upset I'm sure he'd be straight over to him. I've known a lot of babies who were happy to bumble around and amuse themselves. Plus it sounds like he's napping/eating for a chunk of that time. Don't be hard on yourself - it's so tough for young families trying to make ends meet these days and it sounds like he has two hard working, decent parents who love him. He's safe, fed, watered and has toys/tv and his dad on hand.

I don't think your boyfriend can or should WFH while doing childcare. Does his employer know? There's no way I could work with a 15 month old around. It's not fair on anyone. If you're asleep and your partner is working, you need proper childcare.