Sharing baby photos

[Missy865]

DH and I dont share any photos of DC online. My parents agree with this approach and are quite anti sharing generally on social media themselves. We have a family whatsapp group with my parents and siblings and have posted photos of DC there for Grandparents particularly as they dont live close by. I have discovered my DM has been sending the photos on to her friends. I feel like she is being hypocritical and if she is sending them round her friends, she would be as well posting them on social media. Maybe im being overly precious and she should be allowed to share photos of my DC with her friends but i dont want the photos shared hense why the only place i send them is on the family chat and now its making me not want to share more photos as i dont no where they will end up. AIBU or can i ask her not to share?

Unless there is a big safeguarding drip feed then I think you are being a bit precious OP.

I think you are being abit ott op unless there is a backstory with her friends

Omg , you are being way OTT .

I'm guessing she's sending the photos to her friend in the same way your sending them to her.

Unless you have a problem with the friends I don't see how you can get wound up about this.

You’re being ridiculous and precious. They’re just photos 🙄

You are being too precious I’m afraid OP.

I also do not have any photos of my DS on social media, because I don’t want his images/info being publicly available.

However, my mum sending them to her friends privately would not bother me at all. What do you think Aunty Maureen is going to do with the photo other than saying “oh how sweet”?

We only share pictures of our baby with our family and close friends and we're thankful they've respected that we don't want pictures of our child shared on social media or forwarded from one person to the next. We are fine if they were to show pictures to their friends via their phone. I suppose due to past childhood abuse, I've felt more inclined to police who gets to view pictures of my child

Maybe appreciate your dm is proud of being a dgm.

Thanks everyone, seems im being U.

Might be hormones but i think il limit sharing photos in the family chat for now as i am just not comfortable with it however, BU that makes me. I dont have an issue with my mums friends but i dont no them. I had hoped an approach like @AudreyJL describes. Obviously no problem with close family and friends seeing them. It just feels like if the photos are being distributed to people i dont no then they might as well go on SM.

You’re gonna have a hard time as your kid grows up. People are going to take photos of her and they’re going to share them, as would be their right to do so.

You realise people can see your baby in the street right? (And have the right to take photos of her.) Like she looks just like every other child out there?

What exactly do you think is going to happen if people see photos of your baby? Stop trying to control everything.

@FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks If someone on the Street was taking photos of my baby i would be very concerned personally. Thankfully this has never happened. I dont think its normal.

I dont no why people would share photos of my child. I find it odd. I have photos of my friends children at events etc but i wouldnt ever think to send them around to others except the parents.

You could find it as concerning as you want. Doesn’t stop it being legal.

Also, your friends kids are entirely different to grandparents or family wanting to share their grandchildren.

@FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks it might be legal but thankfully its not the done thing where i live so not a concern.

Why is it different - They are sharing my photos with people i dont no?

Surely your mums just doing the same as pre WhatsApp, grandparents might have some pictures printed and if they were meeting friends for a coffee, get them out to show their friends? I don't understand what the problem is? I assume you know your mums friends? Your mum clearly knows her friends. What on earth do you think they'll be doing with pictures of your baby?

So the grandparents don't live close and you send some photos and they show their friends to say 'ah look how big he/she is getting?' They reply... 'ah how lovely!' And that is concerning. What happens if she had pictures of the children in the house and friends visit? What if she had a picture in her purse and shows people?

Sure it doesn’t 😂

It’s different because you don’t have the same attachment to your friends kids as your family has to your kids. If you’ll let them

Will you be allowing them to display physical photos of your baby in their house? Or not in case Barbara from no 52 sees your child's face

@spottie yes, of course id be happy for them to see a photo in a frame.

My parents have never carried physical photos around when i was a child. I would find it a bit odd if they did that too.

No, i dont no the friends that DM has sent the photos to.

I am clearly in the minority so fair enough im BU but i really dont feel comfortable. Not sure how to get over it. Will need to try though i guess but in the mean time il not share photos with them.

@Missy865 If you refused to share photos with me I’d just take my own 🤷‍♀️

Op I work in retirement living. I get shown photos of grand children regularly. I like children so I coo accordingly and speak to the resident about this grand child. Then I go back to my office and I forget all about it. (2 of them will ffw me photos on WhatsApp I do the same there)

I could not pick any of these children out in a line up. Because its not about the child its about my relationship with the resident. It will be similar for your mother's friends. She is showing her grand child off because she is proud of said grand child. Friends will do similar but are unlikely to be able to pick your child out. They have simply not paid that close attention.

I to some extend get not posting on social media (not my choice but nor do I go over the top) I am uncertain why you feel your mothers friends will be a treat to your child though?. Unless you feel there are a need for a protective cocoon everywhere?

You're being overly precious. Sharing with friends is not the same as sharing with acquaintances and the internet. You should feel happy that she cares about your baby that she wants to share pictures.

@FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks they live far away and have never met DC so i sent photos because otherwise they wouldnt see DC. If it was photos they had taken themself id rather they weren't shared but i dont think it would bother me so much

Then it is a control thing on your part then.

It’s nothing to do with privacy, your daughter’s image being seen or shared, but rather you wanting full control over who sees the photos you’ve taken and when.

@Enko thanks, thats helpful. I had a very bad experience with social media and a stalker a few years ago. So I really do not want DC on SM whatsoever unless they choose to when they are far older which I couldn't stop. By telling people we didnt want the photos or any mention of DC on SM, i had assumed people would understand we didnt want photos shared although i can understand what your saying and that those receiving the photos are v unlikely to actually caret. Taking in board the comments, i think i am being too precious although i still wish she hadnt sent them on. IMO, showing a photo on your phone is different to actually sending a copy on. While I am responsible for making decisions for DC i want to do everything i can to keep them safe. I am clearly overboard in my thoughts though and it would be unsustainable. For the mostpart, il probably never no if the photos are being shared, it was only by chance i found out. It doesnt make me feel any better though!

@FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks yes i think you are right. It doesnt make me feel any more secure about it but il need to find some way in the long term. I can stop sending photos now but not forever.