How many hours does your partner work ?

[Sugargliderwombat]

My partner took on a new job without discussing it when I was 9 months pregnant. He now leaves the house 7am and gets home between 6.30 and 7. Once he is trained he will be on call for 24 hours once a week.

I'm curious, what kind of hours do your partners do? (those with babies at home).

I'm due baby 2 soon. DH works usually 8am to 5pm so about 42.5 a week. I wouldn't like him working more to be honest and I'm glad we have the weekends off.

Your DH does sound like he works a lot - Hopefully when on call he won't always be called.

I think when the kids are young and surviving on 1 wage etc unfortunately usually 1 parent will need to work extra.

Good luck x

When my kids were little, my dh used to work away mon- thursday.
It was hellish.

Oh god that sounds awful! Hats off to you x

I think, including the commute, they are standard hours to be out of the home, more or less. Is that every day? Being on call is normal in my line of work too. Not sure about once a week, though.

That's what I'm not sure about, neither of us have ever worked from home but my NCT groups partners all either work from home, shorter hours or hybrid so it got me thinking (and a bit jealous 😬).

My kids are older but when DD2 was little DH worked 12hr shifts 6am to 6pm for 4 days/ 4 days off / 6pm to 6am for 4 nights / 4 days off.

It was tough when he was on nights and we had to keep quiet during him day sleeping. Sometimes we were like ships passing in the night, quick hand off when I got home from work then he'd have to go to work.

Mine works 21 hours a week and I’m the one who travels a lot for work, does long days and is on call frequently. It’s tough.

It’s more about what he does when he is at home, though. Or the expectations he has of what you can achieve with a baby. The hours seem fairly standard. Is he not doing enough, or saying that you’re not?

My DH does 50 hours a week, I do 40

12 hours out of the house is about standard isn't it?
Does he also bring work home?

When my two girls were new born and beyond he worked 50 plus hours a week
But this meant I could be a SAHM
I went back to work part time when they were teens ...but term time only

My husband was out of the house 7-7 when mine were little. He’s now WFH and a much easier 8.30 - 6.30 (ish… or 7)

He works very hard and I respect his work ethic even if it gets on my nerves

Does that mean he'll never be available for nursery/school drop offs and pick ups?

When my kids were little my husband was out of the house for about 12 hours each week day. He'd often have to overnight in hotels and sometimes worked abroad for a week at a time.

When dc1 was born / was little and when dc2 arrived, he went out at about 6.50am and got home about 6.30pm, except for when there were train delays and then it was later.

Then he worked 3 evenings a week in a different job.

However, this isn't about a race to the bottom.
For us it was a temporary situation so that he could become qualified so life would be better in the long term.

You can spend your life comparing with others, and always find people who have things better than you and those that have things worse. You have to work out what you can cope with as a couple, and what your choices are when you find you are struggling.

DH works shifts so not set days, longest stretch without day off is about 9 days. His shifts vary in length e.g. 7.00-17.30, 7.00-18.00, 7.30-19.30, 7.30-21.00

He has a forty five minute commute each day as well so is put of the house from around 6 most mornings

Dh did around 50-55 ish hours until ds was around 7. He had no fixed rota so never knew his hours. Could only plan about 2-3 wks in advance. His shifts could start on an early shift at 6am but he never finished on time. Did a late shift to which started about 1pm. He also use to work most weekends. Stress levels were off the scale but it was a case of needs must. I work 30hrs so all nursery and the school runs were down to me. Few things have changed now. Job changes and so on and life is better.

We both hugely shifted work schedules when Ds was born so it worked with family life.
Dh now does 9am-6pm from home.

Mine has always done around 40 to 70 plus hours a week and he's on call for two weeks out of every seven. He was on call four days after dc2 was born.

However he gets paid well, works from home some of the time and helps where he can. Plus to a degree, he can be flexible, i.e. eating as a family and then working when the kids are in bed. As he's far ahead on the chart of billable hours (the only thing which matters to his employers), whenever he's ridiculously ahead on hours he gets time off in lieu as well.

Quite a lot of my friends have husbands who work abroad or offshore. I wouldn't swap.

5am - 8pm 5 days a week. Commuting to London is also unreliable so nights like tonight there's signal issues he'll be later. However I knew this before I got pregnant so was well aware of what I was getting myself into. Baby is 4 months old now and it's getting easier doing it alone

I have a 3 year old and an 11 month old.

DH does 48 hours a week. A mixture of days (8am-6pm) and nights (6pm-2am), with the odd 12 hour shift chucked in. Works 2 weekends a month.

I do 30 hours a week but have a long commute, so twice a week I'm out of the house 6am-6.30pm.

It's tough but we make it work. Mostly because DH really pulls his weight when he's not working.

Mine is a little bit older now but dh still works a 50 hour week.

Same. He was only home for 36 hours a week for the first 2 years.

Then home with every other week on call 24/7 till she was 5.

I worked on a consultancy basis from when she was 9 months till she was 6. Now I’m the one away 3ish days a week on average.

The OP’s scenario doesn’t seem too bad.

We both work shifts, quite unpredictable. Usually 3 or 4 nights in a row (12h shifts) or 4 12h day shifts.
I work 80% , so have one day a week off but do work weekends as well. We both work anything between 32 and 50h a week I'd say.

How many hours is he working a week op without en call? Is it actually around 45or does he do a short day somewhere?

How is finance being sorted whilst you're off on may leave? Are you going back to work?

When DS was a baby my DH was working around 50 hours per week, some of it maybe 10 was at home the weeks he was home. However he was away a lot and buggered off round Asia and America and very occasionally Europe for around a third of the year for almost a decade. I returned to FT work when DS was 9 months old. Those were tough times. Though we did tag along for a couple of European trips with him. I’m retired early now and we had planned on me going with him but since covid almost everything is online which is good for the planet.