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Original poster

Hen do when baby's 2 months old?

33 replies

Noodlees · 15/02/2023 11:25

Hi

I'm currently 39 weeks pregnant with my first and have just been invited on a hen do in 10 weeks time (so baby will be around 2 months old). The hen do is for one of my best friends so I really want to go to at least some of it but I obviously have no idea how I'll feel so just wanted to get some feelings from those who've already had babies, about what you'd have been comfortable with.

The plan for the hen do is
Day 1 - aquapark, fancy wine lunch, then stay over at house for cocktails & games etc.
Day 2 - walk and lunch.

The location is ~1.5-2 hours away from me.

They are booking the activities this week so I need to decide what I want to take part in. Obviously I could always change my mind after and just accept I need to pay, I'm okay with that.

My current thinking is to do the aquapark and wine lunch on the first day, pumping in between as hoping to EBF. Then head home. This would make it quite a long day away from baby (probably 8am-6pm) but mean I'm not away overnight. Or DH would happily come with me so I could see baby in-between but I think it would be hard to have such a long day out of the house for DH and baby?

Other alternative is we get an Airbnb locally and DH stays overnight with baby, this means I could go to all activities but stay elsewhere overnight and could see baby in-between activities. Would be an extra ~£90 though so not sure if it's worth it.

Re aquapark, I realise this will depend on what sort of birth I have and my recovery. I'm hoping by 2 months pp I'll feel up to it but if this is massively ambitious then please let me know!

Thanks for any input/advice x

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Goldandpurplezebra · 15/02/2023 11:32

I think the extra £90 for air bnb would defo be worth it. It gives you the control to dip in and out when you can. But your baby could be 3 weeks late so I'm not sure if you've taken that into account when you say baby will be 2 months.

maddy68 · 15/02/2023 11:33

Plan b. And have fun!

Ostryga · 15/02/2023 11:34

Tough one. Depends entirely on you, I know I couldn’t have spent that long away from my 2 month old (or younger if late!) Not to say that you won’t want to but it’s hard to describe what it feels like until baby is here.

If you still feel up for going 100% book the Airbnb. You may have to feed rather than pump so it makes sense to have baby close.

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WeCome1 · 15/02/2023 11:35

I presume you’re aware of the possibility that the baby might be only seven weeks old? (Did I work that out right?)

For me, that was still in the absolutely awful no sleep chaos stage.

chillih · 15/02/2023 11:36

Personally I couldn't have done it. I was still knackered at that point tbh!

Baby still fed a fair bit through the night and every 2-3 hours in the day. I would've had to go off to pump every few hours or my boobs would've been like leaky sore rocks. I wasn't ready to be apart from him at that point either, but everybody is different on that front.

Sucessinthenewyear · 15/02/2023 11:39

You maybe 7 weeks post section in which case this is probably too ambitious. At this age I was feeding every 2 to 3 hours and everything was very chaotic.

Original poster
Noodlees · 15/02/2023 11:40

Thanks for the input, looking like Airbnb with DH is a good idea then!

Hen do is 2.5 months from now so baby being 2 months old is based on her arriving at 41 weeks. Obviously could be later (or earlier) but felt that was a good average to work on for now!

OP posts:
Soapnotshowergel · 15/02/2023 12:53

An aquapark? Like swimming? I was back in my jeans at 5weeks PP with DD1 but there was no way I'd be getting back in my cossie at that stage, every thing was still flabby and floppy (and I mean everything!), I'm not sure my self esteem could have taken that hit!

I'd do the wine lunch and then stay out for a bit before going home and enjoy not being hungover the next day!

Original poster
Noodlees · 15/02/2023 13:41

It's one of those outdoor total wipeout style ones so you do it in a wetsuit fortunately!

OP posts:
Kranke · 15/02/2023 13:54

I would do day 2 with the walk and lunch (you could just do the lunch if you don’t feel up for the walk). Your husband could come with with you, you could even both spend the night somewhere near before/after if you fancy a bit of a break. I felt pretty good 2m after birth but I had a section with very quick recovery. Around that time I went to a leaving do for a very good friend. It was only 30mins away though and my husband was with the baby with milk if needed. I was out for approximately 4hrs. I had a lovely time, I really appreciated a little time on my own with friends who saw me as ‘me’ not mum!

Pinkflipflop85 · 15/02/2023 14:01

Noodlees · 15/02/2023 13:41

It's one of those outdoor total wipeout style ones so you do it in a wetsuit fortunately!

If you end up having a c section this sounds like an incredibly unwise thing to partake in!

AutumnLeaves5 · 15/02/2023 14:06

Skip the aqua park, or volunteer to be shore side photographer, and use the money you save from that to go towards the Airbnb.

FeinCuroxiVooz · 15/02/2023 14:13

do the airbnb plan. totally worth it. don't expect too much of yourself you may not be up for many activities so don't book loads. but a massage and a swim and some wine with your friends, and your baby and DH not too far away, should be lovely.

chillih · 15/02/2023 17:30

Noodlees · 15/02/2023 13:41

It's one of those outdoor total wipeout style ones so you do it in a wetsuit fortunately!

Oh gosh I can't think of anything I'd rather have done less 2 months pp 🙈 I had an EMCS so couldn't have done it anyway, just to bear that in mind too.

RampantIvy · 15/02/2023 17:36

I agree that plan B is the way to go. Also, you may not feel like doing the aquapark bit. If your baby is late you might still be bleeding. I bled heavily for the full six weeks afterwards.

MoserRothOrangeandAlmond · 15/02/2023 17:38

Air bnb with husband sounds good, skip aqua park and meet for wine and lunch. Could go back for a little bit and then have cocktails and games if you want. Then join in with a walk and lunch the next day.

Don't book water park as you don't know what you will be like after birth as you may need a c section.
At 8 weeks I was bridesmaid at my sis in laws wedding and felt good (baby was with us at the wedding)

Ostryga · 15/02/2023 18:56

Yes agree the water park is not a great idea. If anyone had suggested that to me when I was 2 months pp I would have cried. And I had a super easy recovery - second degree tear and stitches.

It takes a year for your body to fully recover from birth, so falling about on water slides isn’t the best idea!

OliviaFlaversham · 15/02/2023 19:01

I wouldn’t have gone at all. With one child they had just got out of NICU then and with the other I just hurt too much and wanted to be with them both. Plus both were breastfed on demand and I was tired.

I don’t like hen dos though so how much would have been the above and how much influenced by that is hard to tell!

The Air b&b sounds by far the most doable.

iwasthewalrus · 15/02/2023 19:06

I’m going to go against the grain and say no to the Air BnB. The amount of stuff you have to take even for just one night away is immense, I couldn’t be bothered with it all.

I’d pick one of the days and go to the bits you want. Leave it up to DH to decide, nearer the time, whether to care for baby at home or near where you are.

Its worth trying to get baby to take a bottle early.

Original poster
Noodlees · 16/02/2023 09:28

Thanks everyone for the advice! As I said in my original post, I can always change my mind if I'm not feeling up to things but if I don't book anything then I definitely won't be taking part in any of it, hence trying to get a feeling of what I might be up for. Obviously I don't have a crystal ball and yes potentially baby could arrive at 43 weeks/could have unplanned C section/could be in NICU etc but if these things happen I'll just have to change my mind later.

From the advice on here I'm going to book the Airbnb and the lunch on both days and then can play it by ear whether I want to go back to the house in the evening or not.

Thanks everyone!

OP posts:
Pipsquiggle · 16/02/2023 09:56

I think you are wise to just opt in to the lunches at the moment.

The problem is none of us know what condition you will be in or your baby.

After DC1 - emergency c section, lost a lot of blood. I would probably cope with 1 of the lunches. Definitely no aquapark, no to the walk, no to alcohol etc

After DC2 - probably could have done most stuff if baby was near by - you need to consider growth spurts where your baby just want to be fed all the time.

Scottishgirl85 · 16/02/2023 10:03

Totally depends how your baby feeds, if they accept a bottle etc. And then of course how you're feeling. We were at several weddings etc by a few weeks old. But always as a family so we could switch in and out to feed etc. I've had 3 c-sections now - 1 and 2 a breeze, number 3 wound is infected and still gaping open at 5 weeks - so no driving or much physical activity yet. Go with option 2 and then be prepared to adjust if needed.

doadeer · 16/02/2023 10:07

God no to the aquapark! That sounds hell after a baby. I would honestly just go to the lunch and hang out a bit then leave. That's absolutely all I'd have wanted to do away from my baby. But everyone is different.

sevenbyseven · 16/02/2023 10:10

Definitely Airbnb then dip in and out of the activities depending on what you can manage - don't make any promises!

If you breastfeed, you can travel very light with a baby - pram and moses basket are the only bulky things you'd need. Other than that just clothes and nappies, nothing that won't fit in your own bag.

Personally I never managed to express or bottle feed so don't assume you'll necessarily be able to.

Lcb123 · 16/02/2023 10:12

It's so hard to predict how it will be! Personally I'd go for the nearby Airbnb as it gives flexibility for you to join in however much you feel like you can. Aquapark sounds awful to me regardless of newborn so I'd be happy to swerve that and just have the wine lunch!
Hopefully the organisers/your friend will understand it's hard to predict.