Baby January 2023... follow on thread

[TokenGinger]

I know some of our babies arrived in December and some in February, but thought I'd keep the thread title as January 2023 so we know it's our follow on thread. I thought it might be helpful to have this as we tackle the newborn stage ❤️ I'll link this on our old thread now xx

Hi everyone, sorry for no updates from me. Nothing really exciting to report, baby still unsettled at night and doing the crying in pain in the morning now instead. School holiday is in progress so I’m juggling a 5 year old as well which isn’t too bad but still a bit demanding for attention and zero listening to me 🙄

hope everyone is ok x

@Jusmakingit I find it all consuming with 2 of us looking after one baby so I have no idea how any parents look after more children!

no major update from me either, just ranting as usual 🤣 started using the prep machine which is easy enough but it is so loud! Not the beeping but when it does the water! Still not 100% on how to tackle night feeding. Currently got pre-made which is easy enough but expensive and one bottle isn’t enough for baby so not a long term plan. I don’t want to come downstairs each time for a bottle so I’m debating buying another prep machine to keep upstairs in George’s room whilst he is in ours or just move the machine up each night. But if I do that then i can’t carry baby and machine down together in the morning.

hope everyone is well too xx

@H44123 hows the mastitis now your on the antibiotics?
im so in love with my children and how amazing they are and what I have made but today has been hard. I barely slept last night , the most of today baby has been crying on and off and just wanting cuddles cause of her trapped wind . I have lost count now the amount of times I have cried today feeling guilty and exhausted for not been able to give my other DD the attention she needs and deserves whilst my partner is at work. I just wanted a bath but he was late home and has had to go back out to work , I have baby milk sick in my hair and down my tshirt . My bra I need to change as I have breast milk leakage on it , I just feel disgusting . He made a coffee, sat on his phone didn’t offer to hold her or do anything.

im just overwhelmed today and can’t stop crying on and off . It’s felt a very lonely day :(

@Jusmakingit aww vent away… totally get where you are coming from. Give yourself some credit… looking after a needy baby is tough then adding more kids on top - I don’t know how you do it! You are doing more than enough. Tomorrow is a new day! You’ve got this!

I have similar feelings… my partner doesn’t want to put baby down so if he isn’t holding baby he wants me to be but I also want to make sure we don’t create bad habits as in baby needing to be held all the time. It makes me feel guilty although he hasn’t said anything then I’m thinking I bet he thinks I’m a crap mum etc. hormones eh!?

Men just don’t think like us. They think we have it easy at home and to be honest I thought it would be a breeze but my god working full time js so much easier! I feel bad wishing time away wondering when he will sleep for a few hours solid so I can or wondering whether this will ever get any easier. My boobs are feeling a bit better. Not as hot to touch but still rock hard. Sending you love xx

It does get easier , from experience it just feels like the phases they go through seem to last forever. Soon a few months will pass and their sleeping routine will be lire in place , the giggles and laughs and their little personalities will come through but yes it is hard. My first baby was a shock to the system , I was relentless on myself about doing everything right etc and I got depression as I didn’t feel bonded . Lots of change and learning all about this new person. You wish they could talk to tell you what’s wrong etc and then when they start talking they don’t stop lol 😂

good to hear about the mastitis . The heat
went down first for me and then think around day 3/4 the swelling went down and now they are squishy boobs again lol with a very faint lump in each still . I keep forgetting to take my last few tablets . Also they gave me fragmin injections and Iv not taken the last two as my stomach is covered in bruises it’s so sore I can’t bring myself to do them :(

sending you love as well and positive sleep vibes for tonight :) x

@H44123 aw thank you! I almost gave it up on so many occasions, but with him having CMPA it’s not like I could just give him formula anyway? So felt like I had no choice but to continue through it all, including the tears. We had a call with a dietician last week and I’ve now 2 tubs of dairy free formula in the cupboard so I have options but as I said breastfeeding has now got to the point where it’s easier and almost pain free so I haven’t felt the need to use them yet 🤞🏻

I used to lift weights but totally gave it up early pregnancy as the nausea kicked my butt so I’ve done nothing in almost a year now 😂 I do have to walk the dog everyday so do that already but I’m going to follow some sort of postpartum exercise plan to try and ease myself back into actual workouts. It’s so weird because I felt slimmer at 8-9 months pregnant than I do now, even though I was back at my pre preg weight by a week after birth and I had gained almost 20lbs so you would think I’d feel slimmer now.

DH went back offshore yesterday so we’re now on our own for 3 weeks, first day went okay but struggling with not wanting to leave baby crying but not being able to do anything whilst holding him because he’s already over 12lbs, so heavy and he’s a really strong neck so throws his head around, he actually rolled over for the first time today 🫣 Really need to figure out how to put him in a sling or something!

@Jusmakingit yeah the lack of sleep has been a shock to the system although I knew it was coming nothing prepared you for it. Or little things like going upstairs but then thinking oh I have a baby I can’t leave.

I think once he sleeps for a few hours in his cot so I can it will be better. I’m hoping he does soon because my partner goes back to work next me so it will be me all day and nights. Hoping him going back to work gets him to chill out too. George didn’t poo yesterday until around 1pm, last poop the day before around the same time so he was panicking about constipation, wanting to ring midwife etc. also doesn’t like him in his swing now due to the angle of his neck which I think is fine. I think his family are putting all these crazy things into his head making it worse! I know it’s crap but make sure you take your meds.. you need to think of yourself too and get better.

@LA9610 honestly to have come through all that and come out the other end breastfeeding successfully pain free and enjoying it is so good and inspirational. I wish I had your determination that’s for sure. I have a sling but not given it a go yet but might help you to get the things done you want too. It’s all trial and error isn’t it, you will find something that works for you but it’s just the time it takes to get there.

xxx

Morning ladies…

just looking for some advice, I think on the previous thread it was discussed.

Baby is 1 week old. I tried Infacol as per HV as on a night he was gassy/struggling to poo and seemed in pain, it was like we were waiting for a big poop and when he went he would finally settle.

we haven’t been too consistent with the Infacol so will need to sort this out but in the meantime baby hasn’t pooed since weds so has gone all day Thursday to now and still haven’t really pooped. He did a tiny one yesterday which was like a hard bullet that looked to be stuck in his bum. Plenty of wet nappies and drinking so I’m thinking he is constipated?

we have tried the massaging, bicycle legs etc. currently on cow and gate formula and we have been used the pre-made on an night. Could it be the Infacol? Or is there anything else you recommend to help with constipation?

thanks xx

@H44123 hello, just on the night feed. Not really sure for constipation, could be from transitioning from breast feeding to formula. I would stop using the pre-made stuff and slowly go onto making them up .

I would ring the HV or doctor and ask. My midwife said formula fed babies are usually going for a poo every other day. It says online BF should be almost everyday so I would assuming it’s more from switching milk types. My midwife said if mine hasn’t pooped in more than 48 hours at a push, to use a cotton bud to just gentle rub around there bum ring to stimulate the feeling of something there to push , I did that and put a little Vaseline , about an hour late mine had a really good clear out but she was due for her 48 hour clear out and she did have a good one at that.

they can also have small sips of cooked boiled water. I have given my little one around 2.5ml of gripe water mixed in with the last like 5-10ml of milk, however we are a week older than yours so use a tiny bit I reckon like 1ml if you wanted to try it. Getting lots of trumps and burps

xx

@Jusmakingit it would seem the constipation has stopped… after ringing midwives/health visitors who also said not too unusual to go a few days without we have had a day of it never ending 🤣 one extreme to the other.. think we have had to have a change of outfit approx 5 times today! Still think he is struggling though with wind/constipation etc as he just won’t settle tonight stretching in pain etc. going to go again with Infacol. Partner also trying to put him down when sleeping in cot etc so he is getting better at not being held all the time! Xx

@H44123 morning! Glad he has become unbunged ! Ours does that every other day has a massive clear out and is more settled for the rest of the day and night and then next day she’s unsettled again. However !! I have googled the symptoms of silent reflux which ours defo has ! But sadly has not seemed to turn into normal reflux as yesterday she just was throwing up a fair bit of milk after each feed and you can hear the reflux in her throat , sounds like she’s been sick but then she swallows it . So the random crying must be the reflux .

had a rough few days on the school holiday saga. Massive arguments and falling out with everyone (partner and DD) just has become a bit overwhelming doing it alone this week and my OH just leaving everyday and then not offering to help when he’s home which is isn’t doing on purpose i just think he reckons I’m superwoman

hope you have a good day :)

@Jusmakingit my partner is the same… I think men expect/want/need us to ask for some help and support whereas I think they should know and see we are struggling and offer. Next week when my partner goes back to work it will hit me the same I think.

Im not sure whether George has reflux, I don’t think so but not sure. After a feed he spits a little/sometimes sick but nothing major!

slowly started to put George down in the carrycot during the day too so that’s improving too! Also going to go out by myself with him today, only to my parents but starting off slow. I’m more worried about being able to do the car seat even though I have been shown 20+ times 🤣

have a nice weekend too! Xx

@H44123 morning ! Did you make it out for your walk and use the car seat ? How was your evening ?

I do feel sorry for men cause they have no idea what we go through during pregnancy, during birth and then after birth all the lovely stuff we still have. It’s not like the movies lol 😂

I think my bleeding it easing of, tmi but gone very discharge style with dark brown bits in so fingers crossed cause I’m so excited not to wear a giant fat pad in my pants. Iv opted for a thinner pad today (totally expecting my body to have a laugh and bleed again heavily) and we are off out for the day with our DD 5years, baby 3 weeks and step son 11 years as his holiday is this week. So I will keep score of the arguments lol 😂

@Jusmakingit morning! No walk but I did go to my parents by myself with George. I wanted to get confident driving again and using the car seat by myself so that was good!

Yep men have no idea… my partner wasn’t allowed in the room at his daughters birth 15 years ago in another country so this really shocked him. He even said I didn’t realise what women go through! I went to bed at 8pm last night to sleep til 2am to take over. He woke me up at 12.30 to say George has been asleep for nearly 3 hours and won’t wake up!! Obviously he did for food shortly after but that was a broken sleep again for no reason. Meanwhile he went to sleep at 2.30am and has woken up at 10am this morning with no broken sleep!!!! 🤬

haha your like me… I downgraded from the Tena nappies Iv been wearing yesterday to a full brief and giant pad. Weirdly I’m fitting into my old clothes which is a good thing but strange feeling at the same time. I also don’t like anything touching my belly like leggings/jeans it gives me the creeps how jelly it is when I was so hard before!

hope you enjoy your day out! Good luck refereeing the arguments! X

@H44123 asif he woke you up to tell you your baby is sleeping well haha I would be livid ! Glad you got out that’s really good, small steps ! Haha I’m still wearing my maternity leggings that go up to my bra lol so comfy ! I have succchhh a big baby giggly pouch which isn’t going to go down much more :( my first child ruined that for me so I can work on getting rid of that now atleast or when Iv stopped bleeding ? When can you actually work out again ? My milk seems to have almost dried up woo can’t wait to take my bra off to sleep soon , day out was good , very busy which I’m not used to at all since covid. I feel like I actually miss people staying out of each others way, I woman stood so close to me she could have probably licked me she was that close - for no reason lol 😂

are you ready for the week ahead ? I feel like I need a holiday lol in a nice warm country

@Jusmakingit I was not happy, the other night he woke me up to ask if his cord was ok 🤣 im laughing now but I was fuming at the time. No idea about working out… I didn’t do any exercise before baby so won’t be starting soon haha! My boobs are back to normal too! Today I said to my partner I actually love my little boobs… I really appreciate them and won’t ever say I want bigger boobs again 😂

Dont have much planned this week, partner is off for the last week. We just have a baby photoshoot Thursday, hoping to have plenty of sleep and naps! Have you got much on this week? Xx

FYI I am alive, just another long week of hormones 💝

@Jusmakingit I feel you!! I was just coming here to say the same. I've been reading everybody's updates but just been so overwhelmed. Some days, I'm finding it's lovely, but other days I'm finding the change from one to two children really tough. DD is such a blessing but I am struggling with my guilt towards DS. I feel like DD's arrival has affected our bond because I'm unable to do as much for him as I could before. I'm also really struggling with the lack of sleep and I feel like that's affecting how I feel towards DD. During the day, I'm absolutely besotted by her and so in love with her, but during the nights I keep questioning myself about what have I done by having another baby, then I feel so much guilt that she deserves more than me if I can feel that way when it gets hard. Hormones are definitely at play. She's a little treasure and I just need to keep focussing on that.

How are you doing? Xx

@TokenGinger exactly the same. I defo have some post natal depression and I’m so snappy at my parent and DD for same reasons as you. I feel guilty for not having that unlimited time anymore and feel bad the baby takes up pretty much every minute of the day but she’s been good with the new addition. Sleep is hit and miss, I’m so tired and some nights she sleeps well inbetween feeds but then other nights she’s unsettled all night. I’m tired tonight but just can’t get to sleep .

itl pass though and they will be sleeping better soon x

I’m really struggling with lack of sleep too. I also think the same during the night but during the day I’m fine, probably because my partner is still home to help.

nerves are really kicking in for next week when my partner goes back to work. I don’t even know how I will do things as he doesn’t like to be in a cot/seat etc. also still doing shifts during the nights so I try sleep 8pm-2am so I still get some sleep but come 5am in the morning I am dying. I think mainly because the house is so quiet. I’m really hoping he starts sleeping better in the cot or basket at least otherwise I will be on 0 sleep next week when partner goes back to work. He won’t be able to help as he starts work about 2/3am so needs his sleep. I don’t wake to be waking him either so luckily when he goes to work baby can be as loud as he wants then (hopefully not!)

I just keep reminding myself things will get better and easier. It’s been 2 weeks already for me and time has flown! In my head I’m counting down to 12 weeks where hopefully a routine will be in place!

xx

Hi ladies hope your all keeping well.

Question - do any of your babies go bright red when crying or when straining as in trying to poop or fart? George goes bright red all over his body when straining and crying… almost to the level of severe sunburn red which then goes down. Is this normal?!

im really worried about him overheating. We have the groegg thing in our room and our heating makes the whole house hot especially upstairs as it’s all open plan even with the radiators turned down very low upstairs. Last night the egg showed 20 degrees but my partner and his daughter both woke up at 5am saying they were freezing?

DD does exactly the same! She's been through a phase of really struggling to poo. She went from doing 4-5 a day, to then every 2-3 days for a week and since then, she's been like a little tomato. She straightens and tenses her arms and legs, goes rigid and really forced out her farts or poos. She can get a bit upset with it too. I think their little digestive systems are just so immature at the moment that they're sensitive to so much and just need to figure out how to work properly and regularly rather than getting bunged up etc.

I had the groegg with DS but I became fixated on how hot or cold it was so eventually I got rid of it and just went off how we felt to stop myself from worrying so much xx

Ladies when can I use colief drops? Is it 1 month or 3 month? Label says to use form birth but I think midwife said 1 month but when I spoke to health visitor she said 3 months?

or is do any of you recommend Dentinox? Again is that ok from birth?

I tried Infacol but I’m not sure it made a difference or maybe it did and I haven’t noticed until today when it’s not been used and he has been in pain?!

I really think baby has bad wind/gas he has just screamed for ages and I can feel him trying to push gas out/poop. Still could be silent reflux but after tonight’s episode I think more gas related. After I have just bought Kendamil and 2 cow and gate anti reflux formula 🙄 I think I might go buy the cow and gate comfort formula tomorrow instead!

thanks

Hi everyone. Can I join? I have a 7 week old DS and a 2.5yr old DD. So far the baby is a dream compared with how DD was as a baby (very high needs) so that’s amazing. Days can be tough with toddler going through a very challenging stage so I worry that poor DS doesn’t get enough attention from me. I hold him in the sling so he can remain content while I play with DD but there are times when he has to cry more than I’d like if DD needs me (lots of tantrums plus toilet training) so I feel guilty for this. Luckily DD goes to nursery 2 afternoons a week which allows some time for me to spend just with DS and I’ve booked some baby massage classes which will be nice.

anyone else in the same boat with baby and toddler?

We used the Colief a little earlier than a month. I don't feel it helped his wind but it did make her poop so if there's a chance he could be bunged up, it's helpful for that.

I didn't find the Infacol helped either. The gripe water seemed to work best.

We're at 7 weeks now and she won't burp for love nor money. I asked the health visitor yesterday and she said if after 20 mins of winding she hasn't let it out, it'll come out of the bottom end, which explains why her backside stinks so bad! Xx