August baby - deferring primary school entry?

[Janedoelondon]

Hi mumsnetters,

Nervous poster as haven’t posted before, but hoping for some advice.

My little boy is 5 months old and was born at the end of August last year. He will be just 4 when he can start primary school.

I was chatting to someone at a group today who was saying I may need to look to defer my little boy’s entry to primary school in a few years’ time, as he’ll be the youngest in the year and may struggle vs those who are older in his cohort.

I know there has been quite a bit of research done into August born vs September born babies so this wasn’t exactly news to me, (others have pointed it out to me before!) but has got me a little worried.

Do any of you have experience doing this with your little ones? Or any August babies who started school having just turned 4 who have been absolutely fine?

Also, has anyone made the decision for their little one to start primary school aged 4, see how they get on, and if they are struggling, then hold them back a year? My worry is it may be difficult to know how a child will adapt until they are in a school setting, so keen for thoughts.

Thanks so much, really appreciate it. Anxious mum here!

I agree with this in general. However I can't blame individual parents for wanting to do it if they have real concerns about how their child will cope in school.

We personally aren't doing it with our summer born. She's only June so not too late anyway, and she's been in nursery since she was one and is now doing really well in pre-school. All her friends are moving up to school in September and while obviously she'd make new friends, I don't know how she'd do with another year at pre-school. I think if she was struggling, or if she'd never been to pre-school, maybe I'd think differently.

But that's surely because they're geared up to starting school at 7 so wouldn't necessarily be repeating anything. At my DD's pre-school, they do counting and numbers, learn letters, basic phonics etc. So if I held DD back a year, she would then be repeating all that for an extra year of pre school, before then going on to reception and doing it again I guess. So that would be boring.

By contrast, my reception aged child has no idea when classmates’ birthdays are or when compulsory school age is. She has no clue if kids in her class were deferred and neither do I.

My year 1 child knows exactly when his classmates birthdays are because he goes to their birthday parties (as do I because of the endless present buying!). He knows that he is 5 and 3/4, and which of his friends are 5 and a half, and that he is going to a 6th birthday party this weekend, and that his 9th birthday will be in year 4. He noticed when his friend had a sixth birthday in reception.

If you think there is a stigma associated with it then that is your own prejudices speaking but no child would automatically assume it, much less agonise over it.

It's quite unpleasant to accuse me of prejudice because I disagree with you. You might come to a different conclusion on your priorities, but surely you can see the potential for imposter syndrome in a top set child who has been deferred, or for additional low self-esteem in a low ability child who has already seen his nursery peers reach school before him, and still finds himself unable to grasp the concepts that the younger children do? Deferring isn't the no-loss remedy that some people portray it as.

This survey of local authorities in respect of deferrals is interesting: assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/995196/Delayed_school_admissions_for_summer_born_pupils_-May_2021_.pdf

Key points seem to be:

• 26% of deferral applications are for children born in April/May/June.
• 84% of deferral applications are for white children (who make up 74% of the population). 1% are for black children (who make up 6% of the population).
• Parents/carers who requested to delay their child’s admission to reception were significantly more likely to have higher than national average incomes. Of respondents providing a figure, two-thirds (67%) had a total household income of over £35,000 per year, over half had a total household income of more than £50,000 per year, and for 1 in 8 (12%) it was over £100,000 per year. In 2019/20, the median household income in the UK was just under £30,000
• A number of LAs described cases where they felt parents’ motive for delaying entry was driven by school preference rather than the best interests of the child.

Allowing parents to elect for deferral with no criteria is a just another way for white middle class parents to game the system.

@TapSpring you are assuming that a deferred child will have negative feelings about it. Why should that automatically be the case? It’s not like the kids have been held back.

And if you are suggesting that middle class parents are “gaming the system” that is only acknowledging that there is a benefit, which is contrary to your other arguments.

Don't do it

He'll be a whole year behind with friendships and socialisation so you'll be infantilising him

So he'll be even more behind

I have a DS 29th August who will be starting this year as a four year old. It's worth mentioning that not all local councils will allow you to defer mine won't.

I would say that I have also changed my mind about it, he is a very good communicator and is not showing any issues with making friends/ coping in his nursery setting, and I feel it would damage him more if he saw all his current friends leave and him stay behind.

It's a really hard call but I would say wait to get to know your child near the time and then make the call.

Anecdotally, my birthday is end of August so youngest in the year, but always did really well and went to uni, and did a postgraduate degree. My brother is early September and he had to resit a levels and eventually failed out of uni.

Grammar schools where I am tweak results of the 11+ so that the youngest in the year need less points to gain entry. So the oldest in the year are at a disadvantage. Just something to consider!

My own is summer born and thriving in her own year. Just try to keep a cool head and take advice from nursery/pre-school.

I haven't said that it is automatically the case. I've said that the potential for negative feelings is a factor that should be be weighed in the balance when considering deferral. Which it is. And that this is commonly overlooked. Which it is.

The middle class parents are gaming the system because, in time-honoured fashion, they are prioritising academic performance (which is certainly a benefit of deferral) over all else, including the potential negative impacts on the wellbeing of their children. Maybe they will come to regret the cost of that extra A grade. Probably not though.

26% of deferral applications are for children born in April/May/June.

April?! I didn't realise you could do it with birthdays that early.

A number of LAs described cases where they felt parents’ motive for delaying entry was driven by school preference rather than the best interests of the child.

How would that work? They defer in the hope they'll get a place at a different school the next year?

Someone has to be the youngest, I'm an August birthday and it didn't hold me back at all.

There are some interesting stats on this thread. My view is that rising 5 is too early for compulsory schooling.

my summer born dd has not been deferred, nursery say she is ready and she is bright enough. I’m concerned she lacks a bit of emotional maturity and she is physically un confident compared to her peers.

my summer born son was prem and is currently quite behind in his gross motor (although no-one else seems concerned!) so I will be watching him closely and feel inclined to defer. Plus I think the stats suggest things are harder for summer boys especially (or they used to)

I’ll be sending him to a preschool for the ‘extra’ year rather than staying at nursery if I defer him.

in my area you gave to have an agreement from the school to defer before you even apply. Something to watch out for as some schools make you have meetings etc before they agree.

it won’t be to game the school system either, as he will go to the same school as his sister.

@TapSpring but academic success is a major factor in a child’s (perception of) their wellbeing, happiness and confidence at school. And it’s not just academic - being older is also beneficial for sports, music and art. It’s also helpful
socially.

Whilst I agree that you need to factor everything into your decision, there is not anything inherently bad, wrong or negative about being deferred or being the oldest in the class, and so no guarantees that a child would ever have any negative feelings about it. All of the points you are making are based on the assumption that they will.

And yes, your child may know when his friend’s birthdays are, but does he know the ins and outs of CSA and deferral
options? Does he appreciate that there is a difference between the August born 6 year olds as compared to the September ones? Will he think less of them or give them any reason to think there is a problem with it?

I actually think the reason it is mainly used by middle class parents is because it is such a process to request it, especially in some areas. Therefore it is only people who have the necessary skills and time to understand the process and argue their case successfully will go through it. This will largely be middle class people, though not always.

It is a massive shame people aren’t more aware of CSA reception start, because it means that some of the children that would benefit most from a CSA start don’t utilise it. I don’t think that’s an issue with allowing a CSA reception start, I think that an issue with making it such an unknown and difficult process. When I deferred my children's start I was shocked at the amount of people that didn’t even know what compulsory school start age was.

Ideally a CSA reception start for summer born children would be more accessible for those who need it. Where as from what I’ve seen it currently seems entirely based on whatever stance the individual LEA/ academy takes. I do think there would be benefit from the process being looked at. However I’m not sure it’ll be on anyone’s agenda anytime soon though so I imagine it will stay the same for some time.

I’m not sure finances play a role in CSA start for those in England, because most people who defer their child will simply have their child continue with 30 free hours funded childcare. Maybe that varies by area, but in terms of childcare/finances it made no difference to me (other than delaying having to find school holiday childcare).

In terms of the link to academic performance, I have to say though that everyone I know who has done it, including myself, are more focused on their child’s general well-being rather than their grades. Generally those seeking to improve grade performance seek out earlier structured learning (eg home tutors) rather than delay formal learning don’t they? Having said that I am sure that for some that will be a motivating factor, it’s just not one I’ve come across. More often it’s people concerned about their young child being in the school environment so young.

@Notanotherone5 To be honest, I don’t like the trend that parents can defer. It just means that parents that can afford an extra year of childcare and have the know how / confidence to complete the process will defer their June -Aug children.

I agree with you, especially as spring-born babies are also eligible for deferral! My baby will be born in July and I’m also a summer born baby. Never struggled at school. I wouldn’t appreciate it if there were dc over a year older than my dc in the same year group.

Unless your dc has developmental delays/certain SEN then I don’t see a reason to defer their school entry. Why do parents compare their July/August babies with September babies? Why not dc closer in age eg March/April babies? Many nurseries teach phonics and maths as well as teaching the young dc social skills. Parents can also do some activities with their summer born dc too so they’re more prepared for Reception.

I always say the same on these threads.
I have an August born son and I would 100% defer.
Sadly it wasn't an option when DS started school.

DS is clever, so academically he held is own at primary school . But socially it has been really hard. He's always had friends, but being the youngest has made school quite challenging at times.

In reception he had to abandon his beloved Thomas Tank swimming bag for a Spider-Man one, because Thomas was for babies. That basically set the tone. It was always a big deal that he was STILL 4,5,6,7,8 or whatever, as the other kids gradually had their birthdays through the school year, and teased him for being so young.

He always felt nervous and intimidated by the other kids who were always older than him. This led him to adopt a "keep your head down" approach at school, so although he was well behaved, he would never put his hand up or volunteer for things, for fear of being teased. Obviously this is partly his personality, but I am certain it wouldn't have been like this if he'd been the oldest in the year. Without question, this has held him back academically.

Every step of the way has been a challenge. His peers have been interested in girls before him, went through puberty before him, and now they're all turning 18 before him. His mates go clubbing at the weekend and he can't get in as he's only 17.

I would say that for confident outgoing kids, being summer born wouldn't be an impediment. But for quieter kids, it's better to defer.

It's one of my biggest regrets in life that deferring wasn't an option when DS started school. I actually wrote to my MP and was told that summer born kids did just was well. Of course, very soon after that, research showed different, and the rules were changed. But not in time for my DS.

So if I had my time again, with an August born boy, I'd defer in a heartbeat.

For some children it is a matter of a day or two. Young man I know would have been a year below if he'd been born 4 days later. Is the child who was born 4 days after him being infantilised?

I have a sibling who was born at the beginning of September, he would have greatly benifitted from being in the year above, primary school was a nightmare as he was so bored. By the time he got to senior school he had been totally turned off education.

I think it is right that children are treated as individuals

I'm not sure you understand how school years work. For example, child A who turns 4 on 31st August would be in the same class as child B who turns 5 the following day.
If child A deferred for a year, they would end up turning 5 one day before child B. There would be 1 day between them. How is that making child A a year younger than their peers?

I am early 30s but have an early Sept birthday and started school with the year group above (no idea why). There were children in my class with early Sept birthdays that were more than a year older than me. I did well academically but found being the youngest to learn to drive, drink etc frustrating as a teen.

I have an august baby and will see how he is getting on socially/ developmentally before making a decision on when to start him at school.

What I would say is that you know your child best. Don't listen to people who say you'll be holding him back. Holding him back from what? It's not a race to finish school first! By the time you leave school it's irrelevant if you're a few months/years older or younger than the people you work with.

I know with absolute certainty that my DS would have been happier in the year below. He'd have been more confident, more relaxed, and he'd have done better academically. In fact, up until recently (when they moved away) his best friend was in the year below.

Hi sorry to jump on but my boy was born end of June 21 so would he start school in august the year he turns 4 or would he wait until the following year🤔I'm in Scotland of that makes a difference🤷🏻‍♀️

My daughter was born on 31st August. We sent her in the right year group. She's now year 3 and you wouldn't know, she's emotionally one of the younger ones (but not overly so) but one of the brightest.

I have an August birthday and it’s not held me back. Could read before going to school at 4; passed all exams well; 2 degrees; great career!