I don’t know how to cope and starting to dislike my child

[Raddishy]

I am unexpectedly a lone parent. The first 12 weeks were fine. I coped and had regular small breaks when she slept. Since she turned 14 weeks it’s been awful. Awake every 90 mins, not much sleep in the day. I’ve not showered since Wednesday as I can’t be sure she will stay asleep anymore.

I resent her. I love her and I’m very protective of her but I do resent her. When I’ve not slept I feel horrendous, my anxiety gets worse. My iron levels are close to needing a transfusion. I hate this. I can’t stand her waking up. I have zero practical help with her but have family support in terms of finances and have realised at a push I could put her in nursery twice a week. Would this be an horrific thing to do? The guilt is huge as I just don’t think I’d have contemplated this with a partner here to help. That makes me feel awful. She deserves so much better. I just can’t do this everyday. I hate it all so much.

It gets much easier as they grow. I hate the newborn stage.

You need to try and put her in a routine. Spend your money by paying a sleep consultant who will give you lots of tips on how to get her to sleep longer at night & do better and more predictable naps.

Nursery for such a small baby would not be a good idea and you'll end up regretting this choice.

Please do what you need to get through these days & weeks - if that is putting your DD into nursery a couple of days a week go for it.

If it helps I have a friend who put her little one (3 months or so) into nursery 3 days each week whilst on mat leave following the loss of her Mum - she was struggling. The little boy is such a darling now and so much fun, going so young hasn't affected him at all.

I found the first few months with DS really tough so feel for you. You need some rest and it's impossible to think straight when you are so tired, if you have no time to yourself of course you will resentful. Don't be hard on yourself

Can you get a mother help to watch her or nanny? Or nursery sounds like a good idea. Sounds like You need a break.

Sorry, haven't read the full thread. Iron deficiency anaemia is horrendous. No wonder you're struggling. What are your levels? (Hb,iron, ferritin) I've had many iron infusions over the years and find them slow to work. Blood transfusions work far quicker. I had several units of blood a couple of weeks ago and the difference is amazing.

Why not book a night with a night nanny to recharge? Nursery sounds like a great idea. 3 months is so hard. I found it got better from 4.