Which did you find easier? (I have horror stories)

[dokkyo]

Everyone was eager to tell me the first year with a baby is hell, exhausting etc. I’ve found the first 5 months fine (famous last words).

Now it seems people are eager to say ‘wait until they’re 1, you won’t have a minute’ etc and a new bleak picture is painted.

which stage did you personally find hardest?

They only get harder! And then easier. And then harder again. Good luck!

I never found the newborn stage hard, everyone says it’s the hardest but it wasn’t for me I loved it!

The tiredness is hard in the newborn stage, but the rest is very easy I found. I think with your first it's a bi of a shock to the system too, I've really loved the newborn stage with my second (I knew what to expect this time) even though at 17 weeks he still wakes up every 2/3 hours for a feed at night.

Toddlers are easier because they can somewhat communicate with you but harder because of the tantrums and having their own will. My 2 year old says no so much I was actually shocked when he said yes last week, I genuinely thought he didn't know the word yet.

I found the newborn stage exhausting both times, but I had twins first, who were 3 (and into everything) when I had my son.

I loved the toddler stage and love when they ask “why?” We had some amazing conversations, their way of looking at the world is fascinating.

The twins have hit puberty now though and I’d rather have newborns back 😱

I found it got easier as I went along. Found the baby year absolutely awful, particularly the newborn phase. I still react with horror if I see someone with a newborn! But I did have severe PND and no family support.

I was the opposite as well - other people kept romanticising having a baby and telling me to 'savour every moment' when I just couldn't wait for it to end!

Toddler was indeed hard work but minus the sleep deprivation and PND but she was in nursery 3 days a week and I was at work so I didn't have to be with her all the time, which made a big difference!

I suspect a lot of our struggles were related to lack of support as it got easier once we had paid for support via nursery?

Preschool years more fun as they can communicate better and you start being able to do more involved things like craft and baking. Also they can get round soft play on their own whilst you sit down with a coffee.

Lower primary. Even more fun. They are so interesting by this stage.

Newborn - BF so I was knackered and beyond tired. They can't walk yet so that's great.
1-2 ours were walking before that and I found this phase very hard. Blink and they've tried to eat something off the carpet, be it fluff or a rogue 5p.
3 lovely apart from the tantrums and demands. Need to leave the house quickly? Forget it because the shoes aren't correct, the rucksack isn't blue and the coat zip isn't positioned correctly insert other irrationality
4 -8 easy going
9-10 stroppy and anxious, need lots of reassurance
12+ good luck! Ups and downs, boundary setting, worrying

I found the newborn stage exhausting with DC1, but around 1 was pretty easy.

Now with DC2, I've found the newborn stage easier than expected, but that's because she's been an easy baby. So it really just depends what your baby is like at those ages.

First year or so of school:

• It's such a short day compared to nursery hours so if you're a working parent you've got a childcare issue - wraparound places with childminders are absolutely impossible to get around here.
• The admin that goes with child being at school is incredible. Allow at least 15 minutes a day for reading, logging various this that and other on multiple different online systems with different log ins
• Each day has different requirements for what the child must turn up wearing and turn up carrying. Apparently children can no longer survive on a glass of water with lunch so water bottle to be washed and filled and remembered daily
• Child is mixing with lots of other 4-5 year olds all testing boundaries and teaching each other delightful new behaviours
• If child is unhappy at school it permeates into all of family life

Prior to reaching school age DD and I had quite a chilled out time. She'd go to nursery for three long days a week and I'd get all my work done in that time and then we enjoyed basically a 4-day weekend with trips out, picnics in the woods etc. It was idyllic just with the odd day of toddler tantrum or whatever to burst the beautiful bubble!

Potty training. That tested my sanity to the core.

And it's not like I did it too early (as people seem obsessed to do), she was 4 by the time we cracked it. I know that some will always be later than others, but MY GOD.

First 12 weeks was hardest both times, and mine were pretty 'easy', but it is a short period in the scheme of things.

I found none of it hard and I genuinely mean that. We tried to conceive for 4 tears so when my ds came along I relished every moment. I still do even now he's 17!

I find 2.5 until 3.5 the hardest. They want to do things themselves and hate that they still need help. They argue but can't be reasoned with. They are adventurous but with a recklessness that causes lots of (hopefully minor) injuries. It's my hardest but in some ways still my favourite age.

Once they start walking it gets much harder imo. Then it starts getting easier at about 4. I'm terrified of hitting the teenage years though, I think that's going to be the most challenging!

It varies so much, depending on their personalities and yours.

First six months with DD1 were horrendous (silent reflux), first six months with DD2 a dream (happiest baby on earth).

There is nothing more frustrating on earth than a toddler/preschooler refusing to put their shoes on when you need to get out the door for work and then having a meltdown because you gave them the wrong cup half an hour ago and they've just remembered. But also, it's amazing as they learn new things and can tell you their little thoughts - 4yo informed DH the other day that she's better at brushing her teeth than even the dead Queen. Amazing, wtf like.

I find it interesting that people always say 4 is a good age because my DD is 4 now and I find it much harder than any age she's been up until now! Much more defiant, much worse attitude. I found it a bad age with my DSS too.

This thread is absolutely conclusive...

There is no pattern whatsoever as to which is the most challenging parenting stage. Everyone experiences it differently!

I think each stage is hard in its own way! Also, I know that I found the first 12 weeks so hard as DD cried all the time. But it's amazing how quickly that gets forgotten and now feel nostalgic about the newborn stage.

This!!

I really don't like babies and how super reliant they are on you and your body, so I hated the baby stage. People always said you wait it gets harder but I love toddlers/ young kids and teenagers and so far I am just enjoying it more and more. The funny things they do and say has me laughing every day and seeing them discover new things. Obviously there are hard days and times but overall I have found it gets easier.

Loved it all so far, she's 6 and not yet had a hard stage, had the odd week where she's been a bit grumpy/full of attitude. I do appreciate how lucky we have been.

I found the baby stage the easiest (even with DTs). For me 2-4 were the hardest. Mine are now 8 (DD) and 6 (DTs) and things are easier, just going to enjoy this before the dreaded teen years!

First 12 weeks were hell – PND, shellshock and colic – but after that maternity leave was a dream. DD didn’t sleep but she was otherwise easy. She was easy at 1 but going back to work was tiring. Still easy at 2, at 3…

3.5, though, phew! She is the LITERAL DEVIL. Backchat, sass, defiance, rudeness, silly noises, attention-seeking, boundary-testing, bedtime resistance. I’m knackered.

I have a 1 month old and a 9 year old. My newborn at the moment is very easy! He sleeps a lot and only fusses when he’s hungry. For me so far the hardest stages have been around 8/9 months, DS1 never crawled and got m very frustrated he wanted to get around but couldn’t. Then once he was mobile he was fine. Hard again around 4 years testing boundaries once he started school. Since then again very easy! Teen years are impending for us not looking forward to that bit!

For me, usually whenever I am getting enough sleep to function, that's a good stage. My 2nd dc was a good newborn sleeper but various regressions since. First dc I found 3 a tricky age