Which did you find easier? (I have horror stories)

[dokkyo]

Everyone was eager to tell me the first year with a baby is hell, exhausting etc. I’ve found the first 5 months fine (famous last words).

Now it seems people are eager to say ‘wait until they’re 1, you won’t have a minute’ etc and a new bleak picture is painted.

which stage did you personally find hardest?

Dd aged 24. Every stage has its difficulties 😂 Though aged 14 to 20 were what is fondly referred to in this family as the twilight years.

I think you don't realise as a FTM how much your experience is specifically about you as an individual interacting with another tiny individual person.

So the first few months with DC1 were probably the hardest period of parenting so far (she's 6 now). But the same period with DC2 was not that hard. Because he just didn't have colic and I knew what I was doing a bit more.

Lockdown with two of them was probably among the hardest times because it was so incessant.

I don't think there are phases that are objectively harder, there are times when it's tougher for you as a person to provide what the child as another person needs. So some people will deal better with crying/sleeplessness/whining/tantrums than another person.

Toddler tantrums never bothered me much. It takes a lot to make me embarrassed!

I don't think 'just you wait' is justified though there are times when you look back and wonder why you found earlier stages so hard relative to current challenges. Eg when they're throwing things around you wonder why a baby who just wanted you to pick up toys over and over was so hard.

Teenage years without a doubt

I honestly loved the baby & childhood years, they were hard work but really enjoyable for me <probably through rose tinted glasses!> But now mine are adults I find it hard not being able to solve their problems for them. I'm so nostalgic for the days when a kiss and a cuddle would make things better.

I prefer the baby stage (providing they don't have colic and sleep ok).