Is your second child completely different

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I'm desperate to have another child. Husband, money, house, job all secure but my one worry is will I cope.

My child is very easy going, barely cries, always laughing, goes to bed happily, sleeps all night, sociable and just verbally no trouble.

Has anyone had a l other child that's similar? Everyone I have spoke to IRL keeps saying that I won't have another easy baby. My main worry is having a baby who sleeps and one who doesn't.

A second child will of course be different - they’re a completely different little person and will bring their own personality, joys and issues. Doesn’t mean they’ll be ‘difficult’ but they will be different and what worked for DC1 won’t necessarily work for DC2.

My two are like chalk and cheese. DS wasn’t a great sleeper, was a little whirlwind of a toddler, full of energy and into everything. DD was a great sleeper, very chilled out baby & toddler and a shy child.

They’re teens now and still very different to each other - but also nothing like they were as little ones!

DS is the laidback one now, DD is sporty and energetic and never shuts ups! .

My two are opposites including their temperament as babies. For me this was good though as my first child was an extremely difficult baby! Always crying, grizzling and miserable. I'm amazed we had a second! My second child was a dream baby - so content and relaxed.
Interestingly they seemed to swap personalities past toddlerhood. My difficult first child became an absolutely delightful child. My easy second baby became quite a handful!

They're all different. My first and second are like chalk and cheese.

Mine are both laid back though they have different personalities. In fact, ds2 was even easier as a baby than ds1 was.

I had a super chill baby followed by an 'intense' baby. It has been hardcore but I wouldn't change her at all! She is wonderful because she's different (even though I haven't slept for 2 years!)

Also my first chilled out baby is not a chilled out 5 year old and now gets up multiple times a night - so you never know what you are going to get!

My first was a non- sleeper baby , colic and was hard work. But a lovely chilled toddler & teenage years ok. My second was the easiest baby, a stubborn toddler and dramatic teenager.

Each stage you don’t know what it’s going to bring :)

My first was a very high needs baby (still is as a teen). My second wasn't a great sleeper but was very easy in every other way. I hadn't realised how hard work child 1 was until I had child 2 to compare them to.

You never know what you're going to get but I'd never use that as a reason for not having a second child. My desire to have 2 children was very strong. I never really considered not trying for 2 babies.

Oh OP I am right here with you! I could've written this post! I am pregnant with my second and my first baby is literally a dream. Sleeps all night and has done from a very young age, long naps, cries very rarely, eats well, generally very happy boy.

All I hear I hear "wait until your second" "you know what it means if you're first is good?!"

I'm terrified!! I'm imagining the worst! Up every hour, colicky baby?! Reflux?! No sleeping etc!!

Im just praying that if I apply the same principles to this baby...it'll work out for the best but I keep being told that that doesn't always work!

My first was an angel. Sweet toddler (with the occasional screaming tantrum!), neat and tidy, ate like a dream, played independently and generally a joy. His primary teachers loved him.

My second was also a dream baby. Now at 8yo, he's absolutely feral 😅 No sense of danger, incredibly ballsy, loud, energetic and never bloody leaves you alone. He's the first to plough in if he sees anyone being picked on. He's as aloof as a cat, affection is on his terms, yet he's also so sweet and loving when he wants to be.

My third is only tiny, so we shall see!

My first was an angel. Sweet toddler (with the occasional screaming tantrum!), neat and tidy, ate like a dream, played independently and generally a joy. His primary teachers loved him.

My second was also a dream baby. Now at 8yo, he's absolutely feral 😅 No sense of danger, incredibly ballsy, loud, energetic and never bloody leaves you alone. He's the first to plough in if he sees anyone being picked on. He's as aloof as a cat, affection is on his terms, yet he's also so sweet and loving when he wants to be.

My third is only tiny, so we shall see!

My first was a restless baby with reflux and colic. I didn't realise how much work she was in comparison with most babies until I had my second, who was very placid.

I've got three children and they were all completely different as babies.

My first wasn't a great sleeper due to eczema from 4 weeks, literally co-sleeping until 9/10 months to hold her arms from scratching. And the eczema massively affected me.

I was worried my second would have the same experience with her skin, but knew I always wanted another and figured if we did it once we could do it again. So far, no eczema, but we've not had a good time with sleeping and being put down at all. And as much as I struggle at times, I don't ever regret having them. They are my world.

If you want another, go for it and you just sort of muddle through.

DD1 - good sleeper, very sensible, sociable, not cuddly, mini drama queen, intelligent

DD2 - bad sleeper, absolutely insane, prefers own company when around other children, very cuddly, absolutely hilarious, no fear

It's unlikely you'll get a similar child because children are all so different.

Mine are very different, yes.

DD9 is very calm, chilled, fairly easy going but does have some anxiety issues which we're getting help for. Very clever, excellent sleeper after toddler years, doesn't eat much. She's never thrown a tantrum in her life, she can be stoppy but has never been physically naughty. You could leave her on her own for hours and she'd be fine.

DS4 is a whirlwind. Never sits still, always bouncing around. He's very bright as well but not as "academic" as DD (I mean, he's 4!), isn't as interested in reading and writing. Also an excellent sleeper, and eats everything you put in front of him. He's thrown many a tantrum, although they're lessening. You can't leave DS alone for more than a few minutes!

We don't know where DS comes from because DH and I are much more like DD! But in a lot of ways they're very very similar to each other and us. They're both quite shy but okay once they get going, very routine led, like to know what's going to happen, etc.

Wouldn't change them for the world.

Oh, and DD was a difficult baby with CMPA, didn't sleep or eat, etc. I didn't enjoy her properly until about 18mo, after which she was an absolute angel all the time.

DS was a dream baby. Until he was about 18mo and then he morphed into a demon! A very cute one, though.

I always say that, if I'd stuck with one, I would be the smuggest parent ever as I would have put everything down to my parenting. DC2 proved within hours that the same genes can produce a very different outcome and that nature can kick nuture's ass!
Both utterly lovely and get on brilliantly but just very different.

My two couldn't be more opposite if they tried, there is absolutely nothing I can think of where they are the same -

One is sporty, the other isn't
One is very sociable, the other isn't
One loves traditional food, the other doesn't
One is a risk taker, the other isn't

Probably the only thing the same is they both have big feet

My 2 couldn’t be more different in looks, temperament and everything else.
They were different from conception I think !!

First didn't sleep, poor eater, throws a tantrum at the drop of a hat. Second sleeps well, eats well, pretty easy going so far.

I'm not tempting fate by having a third.

My two are very different. Dc1 was not a sleeper and a grumpy baby. Didn't laugh until she was 2, awful reflux for months on end but a fairly chill toddler.
Dc2 was the happiest baby, slept well (or well enough I didn't feel like I was dying), no reflux or anything but lordy is he a wild toddler!

I do remember a couple of parents who were smug because baby 1 was a dream and then baby 2/3 changed it all. But at least one who had 2 unicorn babies... there's just no predicting what you'll get.

DS1 was the easiest, most chilled out baby. Slept through from 6 weeks, ate everything that was put in front of him and played happily by himself. Only really cried when he was hungry.
I felt the same as you when I was pregnant with DS2. Everyone told me it would never happen twice. DS2 is a few months old now and is even more chilled out than his brother, and has slept through from 6 weeks too.
I'd love a third, but not going to risk it! Think I've had my fair share of luck! Although to be fair, DS1 is an absolute whirlwind now as a toddler and doesn't sit still so 🤷🏻‍♀️

My two are completely different. First was a nightmare sleeper, very active child who climbed everything to the point of scaring me, very difficult behaviour-wise as a toddler/preschooler and full of confidence, picky about her friends. Growing up to be fun, active, strong-willed and good company - wouldn't trade her difficult early years for a different child now even though they were hell at the time.
Second has been really easy in comparison, mostly good sleeper except for a few regressions but easily fixed, chill child who will happily sit and watch and was always smiling as a baby, not very active, too scared to climb anything, and pretty well behaved and compliant as a toddler and preschooler now, and nursery teacher tells me he is friends with everyone.

My daughter put me off having another child for a long time and then I risked it and got a unicorn child!

ds1 was the easiest baby in the world.
ds2 has so far been extremely challenging 😂

Same here. We've got two with very different personalities, but they've both been fairly easy babies.

People said it to me all the time as DS1 was an easy baby. But DS2 has turned out to be even more laid back so far.

Try not to worry about it. It could go either way.