Pedophilia allegations against co parent

[nellytryer]

I have 2 children with my ex, two little boys. We are currently co parenting and he has them overnight on the weekends. A woman messaged me on social media making a historic sexual abuse allegation against my ex stating he groomed her online and sexually abused her when she was in her young teens. She said she would let me know as she knows I have children with him. She said he wasn’t convicted because she didn’t want to go to court however she reported it to the police and said I can ask them myself to see it’s on his record. What shall I do from here? Do I have rights to ask police for info on my ex because he has regular access to our children? Is it okay to continue co parenting? I don’t think he’s of any risk to the kids, they are boys and he has a good relationship with them. If it’s on record, it clearly hasn’t been proven or convicted (he has a job that requires a clean dbs), so how do I even know if it’s true? What do I do with this info?

Given the fact she made a police report and referred to it as grooming, I'd assume there's a big age gap.
How long ago is she claiming this happened?

When does he next have the boys?

Got to say, this is cut throat but I do agree.

Paedophiles can be fathers too, you know.

So sorry you're in this situation, OP, I can't even imagine where your head must be. I'd speak to social services and take guidance from them.

After reading the thread on here about the lady who's seemingly caring and normal husband came out as a sexually abusive twat to his own sister, I really wouldn't exclude anything as a possibility until faced with hard core facts. No one is saying cut ties between you ex and your children, but definitely air on the side of caution and distance things about from him until you have things clarified.

Surely nothing is worth taking a risk? True or not.

Personally if someone came forward and claimed my dh was a pedophile I could not just continue visits between him and my dd as normal, that would go against any instict I have as a mother. It's nothing personal to him or what I think of him. You just never know what people are truly capable of. And even the nicest of people can have a disturbing side to them, crime shows have taught me that

Can I just agree with the comment above that you never really know what people are capable of. I had a massive shock in recent days over my own husband and would never, in a million years suspected.

I can completely understand your reaction op- I am only just beginning to accept that the person I thought I knew isn't real/ has 2 very different sides. I've very much flitted between shock/ denial/ acceptance.

It's really hard. I would say that if he is a good father as you say then he would completely understand and agree with you that he should only have supervised contact with your kids until it is all cleared up. Ask him what he would do if it was his dad/ brother accused- he'd presumably want to 100% check before sending the kids? You can do this whilst expressing sympathy and your belief it is unfounded if you want to.

Please, please do not take “advice” about something as serious as this from a load of random strangers on the internet. Talk to a lawyer.

Contact the police as above for confirmation and if it's true, get urgent legal advice. You have a duty - legal and moral - to protect your children.