Can anyone help me with a reality check? What does a 3wo baby want?

[seasidemama]

In amongst the black and white books, play-gyms, outdoor time, tummy time, mobiles that play beethoven (of sorts) I've gotten myself into guilt ridden mess about what DD does really need and care about.

I'm convincing myself each day that I'm making all sorts of dreadful mistakes.

milk, sleep and cuddles

Not much really.

You, milk, love...

Bugger Beethoven.

put dd in a sling and go and do things you want to do/ at 2 weeks they only want fed, sleep and clean nappies.

she wants sleep, feeding and the occasional cuddle. tummy time is fairly impotant too, but the rest isn't.

but also you can't really go far wrong imo. she'll be all right.

What posie said. All the other stuff is best kept for when they are bigger. My ds used to get upset by toys at that age!

ok, what your dd needs is:
warmth
someone to cuddle her and make her feel safe
someone to look at
someone who smiles at her
someone who touches her
someone who talks to her
someone who smells familiar
milk when she's hungry and thirsty
nappy changed
a quick wash
winding when she's got tummy aches

She doesn't need anything else at this stage

Everything she needs you are already giving her

oh yeah - dry nappies, sometimes.

she def doesn't need baths, beethoven or books.

They need nothing at that age except your presence, milk and to be clean and dry.

All the rest is just marketing preying on your fears of inadequacy ...

She just needs you! to do all the things kittywise said. I think the more you hold them the happier they are- tummy time can wait........

go out to lots of cake shops and chat with other mothers while you still can.

So I'm being a tad daft and should probably relax a little?

Absolutely The more you chill out the happier she'll be - they love it when you just sit there cuddling them! She'll let you know when she's ready for more exciting stuff (although actually both my ds's loved that mobile at 3 weeks! Twas more to let me have a shower than anything else...)

Nope you are being completely normal! It took me a couple of months to realise all of the above. I think the biggest mistake I made was giving myself such a hard time.

Yes, please relax.

If you tried to do everything all the companies are always trying to persuade you that you need to do/buy, you would be a broke nervous wreck!!

With my first I too was anxious, always trying to do the "right" thing whatever that was.

Now with my sixth baby I haven't got the time to care what he's up to. He's not interested in any 'baby' toys, he'd much rather root around the kitchen cupboards etc.

She needs you to love her.

Fortunately, you are doing that! Relax, she needs nothing except you - your closeness, your caring.

How are you doing? Hope you are feeling okay and your new country is treating you well. I used to live there, down in the south. This time of year the sea would be frozen, enabling some 'interesting' (read: terrifying) walks to work by the direct route, on the ice.

Yes !

They need tactile love (ie hold her lots), milk, sleep and the occasional nappy change.

Seriously, a lot of their security and hence the ability to develop normally from that secure base comes from just being held and loved.

Sorry for sounding like one of those American self help books with long titles, but it's true. Love and enjoy your baby. That will be what's best.

Bless your fluffy white socks.

Echo everyone else.

Your baby only needs sleep, milk, clean nappy and your love dished out by cuddles, kisses, strokes, soothing coos etc.

Apart from my neuroses we're doing great tribpot. It's a mostly green winter here so far much to everyone's disgust. The moose wandering through the garden still give me a bit of a fright (great big furry sodding face at the kitchen window at half six in the morning as I make a cup of tea!!!)

Thanks for all the advice and reassurance!

LOL @ moose in window! Where are you?!

Oh, what a sweet thread!

Such unanimity rarely seen on MN

(You are v lucky to have MN at your disposal for your first baby, seasidemama )

Baby NEEDS you to sit on the sofa with her in your arms and eat choccie biscuits and watch tv and
r e l a x...

(and milk and clean nappies)

That's it!

We're in Sweden LewisFan - beautiful country, wonderful way of life - but no-one tells you about the bloody moose!

WW - I'd be lost without MN, though I suspect I'd also get substantially more done!