Can anyone help me with a reality check? What does a 3wo baby want?

[seasidemama]

In amongst the black and white books, play-gyms, outdoor time, tummy time, mobiles that play beethoven (of sorts) I've gotten myself into guilt ridden mess about what DD does really need and care about.

I'm convincing myself each day that I'm making all sorts of dreadful mistakes.

How about a father and the rest of her family nearby?

Oh dear, struggling at 3 weeks..

Oh, that's helpful

You are worrying about doing the best for her = you are doing everything you need to
Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job.
She may, however, need you to eat more cake...

my baby absolutely required I ate a lot of chocolate!

I agree stick her in the sling and do things you won't be able to do a couple of months from now when she doesn't sleep as much and demands attention.

sounds like you're coping fantastically well, seasidemama. I always thought of mine as little chest-limpets at this age .

Hope the 3am shift isn't too bad and you've got all the support you need.

OST - she would have a father if he got on a plane. I don't think asking for advice means I'm struggling.

I have taken the coffee shop comment to heart and am off on our first excursion to one tomorrow with friends.

Thanks for all the support and reassurance. A less neurotic day today - though the moose is still bloody weird!

Message withdrawn

seaside mama, I was just like you, wondering if the baby was getting enough music and stimulation at 2 or 3 weeks old! looking back it seems ridiculous but it's just so natural to be very anxious and not want your baby to suffer in any way. would agree with others that milk, mum and clean nappies is all they need though.. the world is very exciting already.. hang in there because it's all totally crazy till about 4 months and they start to sleep for a 6 hour stretch! hugs!

Seasidemama

Yes, but you know very well he requires your permission to do so and Skyddad Identitet isn't a destination you can fly to.

But a picture, time of birth, weight at birth etc would be nice, if you discover any human decency, and if you're not too busy looking up the law on defammation

To the best of my knowledge you have had all of the above. If not then you are, I'm sure, more than capable of asking your solicitor why not.

Skyddad Identitet is not a destination no. Stockholm is though. And you knew that.

If you want to be a martyr that's just fine, but please do it somewhere else. If you want to be a father then for crying out loud bloody get on with it.

No, I haven't had any of them. Why not? According to my solicitor because you haven't given Social Services them, nor given them permission to talk to me or answer enquiries about our daughter's well-being.

And you know they cannot do anything without your permission. The only permission you have given, was to inform me of the birth, which came by email two days later. I am most grateful to you and overwhelmed by your magnanimity.

All I have is an email from Katrin saying you've discussed the possibilty of allowing me to come to Sweden in several months time.

Either way, you do have my email, address and phone number and could have provided them yourself, or do so at any time.

If you want really want me to play a constructive role in Molly's life then I suggest you give social services permission to speak to me and then we can get on and agree Joint Custody that I am sure you will agree is in Molly's best interest.

If you wish to deny her a father, then that is also up to you.

And as for martyrs honey... I learned all I know from you.

I haven't denied social services permission to talk to you.

There are numerous witnesses to my continued assertions that you be allowed contact, be given information about Molly's birth etc. etc. I'm rather disinclined to believe you haven't had it.

I have no desire to deny her a father. I refuse to allow her to be used as a pawn in your games however; her welfare comes above your desire for revenge, or mine for that matter. As I have said before - I want a stable, sustainable and safe solution for Molly.

Is this really a conversation you really want to have in public?

You're right llareggub. Sorry.

Please don't apologise. I think I have worked out your history. Good luck, I hope all goes well for you.

Thank you.

sorry, seasidemama - there's always a bleedin' troll in Swedish fairytales

No worries PeatBog, nowt for you to apologise for. Thank you.