Hi everyone,
Looking for all your best tips and advice :)
Im expecting first baby soon and right now I wear ear plugs every night because DP snores so loudly! He’s tried a few solutions to reduce it and I know feels really bad about it, but it is what it is for now.
With pregnancy insomnia making that harder to handle I’m planning to move into the spare bedroom as I know once baby arrives I won’t be wearing ear plugs anyway.
But my question is - how - if at all - can DP help with the night shifts if me and baby are in a whole separate bedroom? Presumably he’ll be totally oblivious to when we’re awake / feeding / asleep, and I’m hoping to breast feed so there’s that too. Is it a question of resigning myself to doing everything myself for the first few weeks / months? I feel like if we were in the same bedroom at least he could wake up to change nappies, put baby back down to sleep, bring snacks or water etc. How did your DP help you?
And assuming I’ll need the ear plugs back to get a good night of sleep when we share a bedroom again - how long realistically are we going to be in separate rooms? As I don’t love that setup and would like to be back together when possible. I’m wondering if once baby gets to a certain age I’d feel comfortable wearing ear plugs and just letting DP settle baby if he wakes up in the night? But appreciate I’m totally ignorant yet about how mum instinct kicks in after birth and so that might be super unrealistic :)
Thanks for any experience and wisdom you can share.
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Parenting
DP snores - separate bedrooms - how can he help with newborn?
LuckyEarthDragon · 28/01/2023 03:03
closingscore · 28/01/2023 23:45
Sleep deprived and looking after a small human or sleep deprived and sat at a desk - why is one role more worthy of overnight rest than the other and why should nights with a baby not be shared as much as possible?
Well generally if you're at home with the baby all day you have the chance to nap when the baby does. I can't imagine many jobs where you'd get away with that at work.
Boneweary · 28/01/2023 06:37
Every time there is a snoring man on here MN act as if it’s a personal sort of character flaw that must be amended immediately!
We just sleep in different rooms, it’s never been a big deal.
Margo34 · 28/01/2023 10:59
Because you're both working the next day. One of you may be working out of the home earning a salary, the other will be working in the home looking after the baby. Neither's day time contribution should be more or less valued, so why should night be any different?
RampantIvy · 28/01/2023 09:30
I agree with @ohdizzy. If you are breastfeeding why should both of you be awake? It just means that both of you are tired, and what is the benefit of that?
namechangeforthisbleep · 29/01/2023 07:20
The naivety of some of the people on here. I've tried everything to fix my snoring, nothing has worked. And yes I mean literally everything. The nastiness on Mumsnet about snoring is so rife
CakeCrumbs44 · 29/01/2023 07:38
Because a man can't breastfeed, so the woman has to be awake to do that. Waking the man up pointlessly as well just because it's "fair" if they're both tired, even though there's absolutely no benefit, is just stupid.
If they're bottle feeding then that's different of course.
Margo34 · 28/01/2023 10:59
Because you're both working the next day. One of you may be working out of the home earning a salary, the other will be working in the home looking after the baby. Neither's day time contribution should be more or less valued, so why should night be any different?
RampantIvy · 28/01/2023 09:30
I agree with @ohdizzy. If you are breastfeeding why should both of you be awake? It just means that both of you are tired, and what is the benefit of that?
RampantIvy · 29/01/2023 10:32
You don't need to be awake to breastfeed.
I did. I couldn't breastfeed lying down as my boobs were too small.
Margo34 · 29/01/2023 10:30
You don't need to be awake to breastfeed.
CakeCrumbs44 · 29/01/2023 07:38
Because a man can't breastfeed, so the woman has to be awake to do that. Waking the man up pointlessly as well just because it's "fair" if they're both tired, even though there's absolutely no benefit, is just stupid.
If they're bottle feeding then that's different of course.
Margo34 · 28/01/2023 10:59
Because you're both working the next day. One of you may be working out of the home earning a salary, the other will be working in the home looking after the baby. Neither's day time contribution should be more or less valued, so why should night be any different?
RampantIvy · 28/01/2023 09:30
I agree with @ohdizzy. If you are breastfeeding why should both of you be awake? It just means that both of you are tired, and what is the benefit of that?
namechangeforthisbleep · 29/01/2023 07:20
The naivety of some of the people on here. I've tried everything to fix my snoring, nothing has worked. And yes I mean literally everything. The nastiness on Mumsnet about snoring is so rife
bussteward · 29/01/2023 10:43
I do. Many women do in the newborn days – tiny mouths, engorged boobs. I breastfed my DD at night for two years and even when theoretically she was big enough to wriggle over and latch herself on, we never managed to achieve the cosleep nirvana. Besides I’m a light sleeper so even if a feed started when I’m asleep, it would have woken me!
Margo34 · 29/01/2023 10:30
You don't need to be awake to breastfeed.
CakeCrumbs44 · 29/01/2023 07:38
Because a man can't breastfeed, so the woman has to be awake to do that. Waking the man up pointlessly as well just because it's "fair" if they're both tired, even though there's absolutely no benefit, is just stupid.
If they're bottle feeding then that's different of course.
Margo34 · 28/01/2023 10:59
Because you're both working the next day. One of you may be working out of the home earning a salary, the other will be working in the home looking after the baby. Neither's day time contribution should be more or less valued, so why should night be any different?
RampantIvy · 28/01/2023 09:30
I agree with @ohdizzy. If you are breastfeeding why should both of you be awake? It just means that both of you are tired, and what is the benefit of that?
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