What is wrong with me?

[NaatQ968]

Hi all.

I have a three month old girl and she is the light of my life.

Although since having her I've had some strange thoughts about everyday life and certain situations. For example: partner was holding her and went to check on the dinner... I was frightened he was gonna drop her in the pot of boiling water or something (ridiculous I know)

But these kind of thoughts keep on coming.
Myself and my family are very close, always have been but my parents are divorced.

Now my little girl is getting older I want her to start having a couple hours here and there with family members without me, so she can interact with people other than me and her dad and also gives me a break.

So I want her to interact and know her family, I don't want them to feel like strangers... but at the same time, I'm frightened out of my mind..."if sister takes her upstairs, will she fall?" "If she won't stop crying what will they do"

I totally trust my family. But why do these thoughts come into my head.

It's driving me nuts and making me very upset and anxious. It's like I know it's rubbish but my mind won't stop producing them...

Has anyone had thoughts like these before since having children?

I still get them from time to time but it's definitely reducing gradually. I'm not ready to leave ds with anyone yet so any baby sitting is done in our house when I'm around. My mum comes a day a week and gets to enjoy time with ds while I get a shower or we go out together for the day and in laws come round once a week and they play with ds while I make us all dinner. If you aren't ready to have baby be away completely maybe this is a good way to allow people to bond with them but you're still around if you are needed. To be honest I find I can relax better because I know ds is settled and if he cried hard I can just go lift him. You don't owe your child to anyone and you can decide what contact feels right in what context. I know my in laws would love to take him out by themselves but I don't want to be apart from him so it's not happening yet but their time will come eventually. You need to do what's right for you and baby first and foremost and the rest need to defer to your judgement on that. I do find getting out and about helps reduce my anxiety. Like if I haven't been in the car for a few days I'll be more nervous about an accident than if I'm facing it regularly. So try to keep going with your day to day as much as you can. It sounds like you're doing a great job.