Thoughts on Montessori parenting?

[MumOfTwoBeans]

Unpopular opinion, I think it’s a bit ridiculous

what are your thoughts?

Also why does a toddler sleeping on a floor bed mean you have to get up several times an hour to put them back. Can your toddler not get out of their toddler bed?!

@Flapjackquack because usually people put much younger children in a floor bed compared to a toddler bed. Yeah my toddler can get out of his toddler bed, but I introduce him to a toddler bed when he’s old enough

Whatever makes people happy, let them crack on OP. They turn out all the same as teenagers/young adults when there hasn't been significant trauma/complete lack of boundaries.

@ALS94 i don’t want a debate, I’m genuinely curious on peoples opinions because I personally don’t know anybody that parents that way so I wanted to be enlightened

I don’t think many people do parent the way you are describing, you are watching an extreme end of an interpretation of a philosophy, as why else would it be remarkable on social media. It’s like watching those massive, homeschooling Baptist families on social media and thinking all American Christians live like that.

I went to a Montessori primary school for one year (not in the UK). I went from a student that was doing above average to a student that was slightly behind. I liked being there, and do recommend their way of teaching Math but it fits children that have more self disciplin than me. I'm not sending my child there. As for parenting: it's basically encouraging your child to be inquisitive and to use/go along with their own interests as a learning point. Pretty normal parenting nowadays.

The whole point of floor beds is so they can use them themselves so they yes a toddler bed or normal bed is perfect as soon as they can get in them. Both of mine were in normal beds by two, I couldn’t see the point of a toddler bed. I can’t see how you would need to get up any more or less for a floor bed compared to a normal bed.

Montessori has absolutely nothing to do with bedtimes.

No supervised 5/6 yrs old has died from using a sharp knife either 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Fuck I hate these sneery posts. If you don't want to parent in a certain way, don't do it. Just don't be a judgemental twat about other people.

I lean a little on the crunchy side myself so I'm not sneering at anyone parenting however they want. That's fine.

What I might be a bit sneery at is the self styled "I'm a montessori parent" aka the tiktok types that feel the need to show everyone else just how brilliant they are ( know better do better right? 🙄😁)

Plastic wasn’t even invented when Maria Montessori was around, if there’s anything about glass in her theories then it’s probably because it was the only material available. As for the knives, no idea if that’s a genuine Montessori teaching either but again the woman was writing in the era of child labour so safety standards we’re probably a bit iffy. More likely I suspect is that people are just using the term Montessori to justify how they want to parent. Floor beds, I don’t see why they are controversial, I’ve never had one personally but if you have a kid that climbs out of the cot very early or you bed share then I get why it might appeal.

The floor beds are actually very good. My DGS who wouldn't sleep in a cot happily slept in a floor bed from 12 months old.
There is nothing ridiculous about them.
And learning to cut with real knives as long as they are supervised makes sense too.

Floor beds are no more unhygienic than other beds the mattress sits on a frame. Without legs. They are just low down so the child can easily get in and out.
They are also good for co sleeping.

Reading this has made me realise I'm one of these parents without realising... I assumed Montessori was something to do with wooden toys and pretty bedrooms but having just googled it this is totally me as a parent which is spooky.

I made mine a big wooden floor bed at about 10 months because I was breastfeeding overnight and hated climbing around all the bloody bed guards to get into bed every night. I slept so much more peacefully in there with him because I knew he wouldn't fall out of bed in the night and die. Couldn't be bothered getting up and down to a cot all night to breastfeed, especially in our cold house.

Bought wooden toys because I am stingy and they last longer/are easier to fix so can be used for multiple children.

I let my toddler help out and clean up after himself to save myself retraining him when he's older. Also saves me doing it.

I let him use a drill to help me build stuff because I'm always renovating and he KNOWS the fake drill is fake. Stops him whining at me and the job gets done.

So basically this Montessori stuff is for lazy parents like me? I think

I’m becoming more and more tempted to replace my toddler’s bed with a single mattress on the floor to be honest. Save me/DH having to sit on the carpet in the middle of the night.

Montessori = marketing

I bet the impression you've learned your understanding of Montessori education from TikTok videos.

Works/worked for us.

My daughter didn’t need Montessori parenting. She refused to let me pick her clothes from a very young age and escaped from her cot before she was 2 so no floor bed needed there 🤣 She has however, like her big bro been taught to use sharp knives safely (not as a toddler but a little bit older) and can also safely light a fire. She’s 9. Montessori was all for real world experiences. I think that’s a good thing. I work in a school and the amount of children who cannot use cutlery, tie their shoelaces or perform Everyday tasks is astounding. And no I’m not talking about children with sen. It’s children who have been coddled so much that everything is done for them. I don’t agree with everything Montessori did but she was well ahead of her time.

I worked in a montessori nursery before I had my children so I probably use a lot of montessori ideas. I think my favourite montessori strategy is telling my children what I want them do rather than telling g them to stop doing something. So 'bottoms on our chairs when we are eating' rather than 'don't stand on your chair'.

@3WildOnes - I have read a lot about that recently. I am trying to implement it a lot more but sometimes I still find myself straying into the negative. It’s hard sometimes in the moment. I am also trying to work on praising good behaviour at least three times an hour, i.e you are walking so nicely holding mummy’s hand, you did so well eating your carrots etc. not sure if that’s a Montessori thing, I just liked the sound of it when I read it.

Japanese kids sleeping on futons hasn't created a culture where kids are unhygienic and unhealthy. Sleeping on the floor is not wildly different to a toddler bed and bed guard.

I think that it's good that children's development is more child-led these days whether it's demand feeding babies or preschools being free flow. My kids were at state school nurseries and used knives at 3. They were ready to do activities like that and it's good for self esteem imo.

Don't you think that there's a massive problem of people not being independent enough? Secondary school kids who have never used a hob, uni students who don't know how to do laundry etc? Slowly teaching your kids is important imo

Saying all that I have seen the sort of content that I think you're referring to. The one that keeps on cropping up on my TikTok is a little boy who has a sort of child's oven where he cooks his own scrambled eggs (?) There is a slightly smug tone from the parental voiceover but I try to remember to skip the content so they don't keep on suggesting it to me. My kids are mid teen and older so I don't feel bad about how I raised my kids but it dis make me raise an eyebrow a little.

Why does it bother you so much how other parents choose to parent their children? I save my judgement for parents who treat their children poorly.

Isn't it safer to teach kids to use glasses and knives rather than then stumbling across them without knowing how to use them or that they have to be careful? I let my 3.5 year old help me cut things and use scissors so that he knows what to do with them. He does go to a Montessori nursery (which he adores and is brilliant for him because it's a great mix of routine and child-led and means he always tidies up after himself) but I just thought I was being sensible. Not everything needs a label.

Maria Montessori was a doctor and developmental expert who developed an evidenced based approach to early years education. There’s a lot of good stuff in it. I’m not sure it has much to do with bedtime though.

But if you don’t like it, don’t do it!

Dr Maria Montessori was one of the very first educationalists to introduce child sized tables and chairs!

The influence of her philosophy of education is very much seen in schools and nurseries today.

Developing life skills is important for young children. It’s really not that unusual for them to use knives and tools under parental supervision in other parts of Europe and the rest of the world.

The approach is increasing become commercialised - a way to make parents buy things. Add the tag Montessori to a product and it’s perceived as well made and can be sold at a higher price point.