DH wants me to night wean

[Mamabear04]

DH wants me to night wean our 6mo. DS was 7.7kg when weighed back at the start of December and has taken to weaning really well and is up at 3 small meals a day. He is EBF and will feed 1-2 times a night between 12-1am and between 3-5am. I'm struggling to wonder if its OK to night wean so young. DD dropped down to one feed per night at 6mo and then stopped it altogether around 8-9 months when she solidly started sleeping though. What does everyone else think? Should I try to drop DS down to one feed? Or altogether? Is it too young?

Quite clearly you need to keep telling yourself that.

I think the key question is, do YOU want to stop? You are the one who is breastfeeding here not him.

He is but he wants my boobies. Can't exactly suck on his nips. I'm gonna do what I need to. Not listening to your drivel

Can you get any more condescending 🙄

I know you won’t listen, that’s why this discussion is pointless.

Yeah the other pp was right. Get back in ya box

@ClubhouseGift

Curious about what you’re saying. How would you see the damage done by nightweaning? For example in young children, or in adults?

Perhaps he’s trying to let you know that you both might need a bit more rest or a more ‘normal’ sleep schedule. Maybe have a conversation when emotions are low to find out why he thinks this.
Consider gradually moving the 12-1am feed closer to your natural bedtime. From 6m, most healthy babies can sleep for more extended periods of time.
I found that once mine were eating 3 meals I could feed them around 10pm and they started to sleep through to 4, 5, eventually 6am (on a good day). Once a little older I added a small supper before bed with their milk and the night feeds naturally dropped.
Do whatever feels right for you - but also don’t be a glutton for punishment, waking up multiple times a night over an extended period can be very tough on you, your partner and your relationship. Good luck with whatever course you choose.

Some bonkers responses on here. @Emmamoo89 I wouldn’t worry at all!

In particular if your partner takes over night wakes during the pattern of night weaning, they are being comforted by someone they have a deep connection with who they know doesn’t provide milk. I don’t think that learning is traumatic at all.

And babies do wake out of habit, and we give them milk to get them back to sleep because we are tired. Continuing the habit. That is not the same as feeding because they are hungry or have a biological need.

I don’t think you’ll get any reputable child development or paediatric nutritionist expert who will say not night feeding till 18 months does damage to children. That is laughable.

Thanks for all your responses. Going to talk it through with DH once the kids go to bed tonight as I only had two words for him at the end of our "midnight discussion." Definitely not the best time to talk about things like this.

So to put it in context DH is very present during the nights and always gets up to help if needed. He works full time and our toddler is waking 1-3 times a night (a whole other story) and he always gets up with her every night, whatever she needs. If the baby won't feed to sleep he will also rock the baby back to sleep so I can have a rest. 9 times out of 10 if the kids wake early he will get up with them and let me sleep later because I'm feeding DS. He is an absolute gem of a man. The reason behind night weaning is that we had a lot of trouble getting DC1 to sleep well as she had reflux. DH has an autoimmune disease and these were made much worse by lack of sleep (in fact irreversible damage) DC1 would sometimes only sleep 40 mins at a time ALL night long. Fast forward to DC2 and we decided before I conceved that we would make every effort to help the baby sleep well (not perfect!). We're so blessed because DS was straight off the back an amazing sleeper and would only really wake 2-3 times a night right from newborn (something we couldn't even imagine in our wildest dreams!) The 4mo regression hit and DS would wake up every 1-2 hours. This lasted about 2 months and so we decided to move DS into his own room when he turned 6mo which was the best decision as we were waking eachother up etc. DS then started sleeping well again only waking 1-2 times a night. Basically DH thinks because DS can go with 1 feed a night that that is what we should be doing with the aim to getting him down to no feeds. The problem is that he went 2 nights in a row on 1 feed and then the past 2 nights has feed twice. DH thinks DS shouldn't be fed until essentially 8-9 hours after going down. There's also the fact that the book we used to help DC1 sleep says that they don't need to feed at night come 6mo (don't want want feed the fire). But like I said to DH, DS hadn't read the book and the author doesn't know our DS to make that call....

Dw I'm not. I'm surprised my eyes are still in their sockets with all the eye rolling I've been doing.

Yeah I'm gonna get my partner to take over and cuddle him to sleep or try shush and pat.

I know exactly. It really is laughable

My advice is that you could spend a whole lot of time trying to wean him and stress only for him to decide when to do it naturally

dont force or change something that is working ok would be my advice

You do whatever you feel comfortable with op, as you've said your partner is very helpful through the night with your children therefore he does definitely have the right to have these discussions with you! But at the end of the day, you're mum and you're the one feeding and you know what's right for you and your baby. From what you've said dp sounds very reasonable, and hopefully he'll understand the reasons behind continuing to feed ds through the night if this is what you want to do 😊

Oh no that's soooo little. I think NHS is recommending 12mo for a ebf baby
My ds is 15mo and hasn't slept through the night yet so I'm still bfing and he doesn't seem to be showing any signs of stopping. At least I can talk to him though if I were to wean though. But a 6mo is a complete baby unable to understand why the sole provider is abandoning him. I couldn't do it and I think you will hurt his belly long term (I'm not a medical professional)

Ok sounds like a healthy discussion and that DH is very well meaning. So no need to tell him to fuck off or pay attention to any of the other ludicrous responses. There’s no right or wrong really. Him trying to settle first without feeding for the first wake could be an option but set a time limit so if baby is still awake after 15-20 minutes then you step in and feed? Maybe even combined with a dream feed as you go to bed. Or focus on tackling the toddler first and roll with whatever the baby wants for now. It’s really up to you, none of us can say what’s right for your family especially when there are health issues and another child involved.

Tbh, with your update I'd concentrate on the toddler and their sleep habits.

They are older and better placed for a variety of sleep training.

We had lots of success with a carrot and stick approach. We spent time talking about sticker charts etc. we told toddler they'd get a sticker for staying in their bed all night. Get 7 and get a treat.

We were prepared to do the stick of taking them back to bed without interaction. We never needed that though. The stickers worked great.

You can also use Ferber methods on toddlers. They can understand a bit more as well. Yes there will be tears but likely ok in a day or two.

Leave the baby to feed at night as and when until they're a bit older.