No naps for baby

[Cleanqueennot]

My baby is 6 months old and has never been a great napper during the day. Overnight he wakes every 2 hours and I have to breastfeed him to sleep. These last couple days I have spend all day trying to get him to nap but all it’s only ended in tears for both of us. I cannot do this anymore. Today I practically broke down and told my mum I don’t think I can be a mum anymore 😢

I don’t want any advice on trying to get him to nap. I’ve tried everything so I don’t want to try anymore. I’ve decided I will not be spending another day trying to force him to nap if he won’t. I just wondered if anyone else has been through this and when it got better? Please tell me it will get better!

I have decided to just get on with my day and if he naps great, and if he doesn’t then I’m not going to make him. It’s not worth the tears and me losing my sanity!

Must be a developmental blip or similar… yes, for your sanity you need to do as you plan.
I think standard advice is, if baby isn’t asleep after 20mins of trying, just get on with the day and try later.

I think the possum approach is something like that - you do your thing, when they need sleep they will doze off.

Thanks. He’s been like this since birth birth but he used to have one small nap in his Moses basket. Now even that has gone out the window! I very much wanted to be a mum and I knew it would be hard but this last week I feel like I can’t be mum anymore 😢I feel bad. My baby deserves a better mummy!

Please don't worry, napping was little to nothing here until walking started, then I couldn't believe how much they napped..this was at 12/13 months. Just say 'they'll sleep when they want to' and honestly, let it go and forget about it..

I agree not to worry about the naps. But I do think you should do something about the night time sleep.

My DS was just like that - waking up all night. Highly recommend reading Dr Feber’s book - life changing.

Also, why are you blaming yourself? It's nothing to do with being a good or bad parent. Every baby has different sleep needs, just enjoy this precious time..

If you just go about your day does he fall asleep in the car/pram?
Naps up to a year old I found changed constantly. Have you ever actually added up every little cat nap and overnight sleep to see how many hours sleeping he does? (Sometimes it can be surprisingly more than it feels).

I can’t handle any of those sleep training methods. I find the crying so triggering and my mental health is suffering already from the crying just by attempting day time naps. Ferber would involve leaving him to cry so nope, no can do. I’m at breaking point as it is!

I guess I’m not pleased about the fact that I feel I am not coping as well as I thought I could. I’m finding it more stressful than I thought it would be even though I knew it would be hard.

I felt similar and DC1 wouldn't nap either without a fight. I put him in nursery pt at four months and went back to work pt for a break room it all. Instantly felt 100% better. That was 20 years ago and never a single regret. In fact Dc2 followed at five months.
DC1 stopped napping altogether at 12 months unless driving round in the car but thankfully did sleep all night once I stopped bf.
I found it tough too so outsourced it!

I have to be walking or driving for over an hour most of the time to get a nap from him. And if he does fall asleep it’s only for 40 mins tops. If I’m at home there are 0 hours sleep during the day. Overnight he probably gets around 10 hours. I suspect he isn’t getting enough sleep and could be overtired but so am I and I’ve honestly tried everything to make him nap more. So I am giving up on that as it’s too stressful and pushed me to my limit

Let go of all the judgment especially the judgment about how you're coping as all that will do is excerbate how you're feeling and make you feel even worse. Trying to force naps won't be doing you any good so you'll feel better now you've decided to stop. Try to let it all go and look forward to an easier less pressured day tomorrow xx

I suspect I won’t feel much better for it though as he is overtired and just screams his head off. I’m at the end of my tether with it. I am supposed to be off for a year on maternity but I’m hating being a mum so much I’m considering going back to work so that someone else can deal with this child. Either that or I’ll give him up for adoption. All I hear say and night is screaming. I feel broken

It’s going to be ok- you’ll cope because you’ve realised it’s not working for you and want to try something new.
My advice would be give up all attempts at naps and take the pressure off yourself - just let him sleep if/when he wants to and in the meantime he tags along with your day. Plan some walks and coffees and do some low key things you fancy doing…. honestly naps change all the time so just let him do his thing and take some time now to focus on you.

Ps- to reply to your question, yes this happened to me (twice!) and in the next few months I promise they do sort themselves out!

Taking care of babies can be incredibly stressful. I didn't know that either before I had my first child. If you allow your child to sleep during the day, but your child doesn't want to or can't, there's probably little you can do. I also think that you may have to come to terms with this.

Do you get enough sleep yourself? It is not only important that the children get enough sleep, but also that the parents get enough sleep. If your baby doesn't sleep during the day anyway, maybe grandparents can take over sometimes so you can get some rest yourself?

Sending you a massive hug because this was me only a few short months ago - i actually lost my mind through the sleep deprivation, like you i felt like i just couldn't go on.

I tried every single trick in the book over a period of months and as much as i hate to admit it - stopping breastfeeding was the only thing that helped it all for us.

Once i broke the association between breastfeeding and sleep my little girl started sleeping through the night within a few short weeks. I hated when people told me to do this but it honestly saved me.

I suppose you could go about this without actually stopping breastfeeding but i found this the easier way.

Good luck x

No I don’t get enough sleep. I’ve just had to leave him downstairs in his Moses basket because I’ve screamed at him. He’s crying non stop and overtired. I shouted at him and lost my temper so he’s safer down there on his own right now

Is there anyone else who could care for him for a few hours while you catch up on sleep? Is the father in the picture? At this point, feeling as you feel, you ideally need someone else to step in and give you a break.

If you're on your own and there's no one to help, I'd suggest a warm bath for you and the baby...it will generally stop them screaming, you can relax a bit, it kills some time and it helps them to sleep better.

Are you on your own, OP? If not, where is your OH/when are they home from work? You need some time out.

The whole overtiredness thing, are you sure it's not just a stressful situation for you both that is causing the upsetness?
I think the 'sleep experts' put way too much on overtiredness, I heard about nothing else in the early days and mine definitely weren't overtired, they just needed less sleep and once I accepted that and didn't force it everything was easier..
Are you sure he isn't uncomfortable? In pain? And the screaming isn't coming from something else?

Is there anyone who can watch baby while you relax or nap....most things with baby happen when you are able to stop stressing ....can you take a long walk the air often helps both of you.

My husband is driving home from work as quick as he can and said he will take over so I can have a break.

A bath is not an option for my baby as he hates a bath! He doesn’t mind a wash with a flannel or wipes but for some reason cannot stand water touching him!

Husband is on the way home to
rescue us. I feel like such a fool!

I do think he’s tired as he keeps yawning and sighing. I just couldn’t face leaving the house today as genuinely felt like I would have a break down in the street. He probably is stressed too. We are probably just stressing each other out! I don’t think he’s in pain. He’s been fed and changed and I’ve checked his body. He looks fine and doesn’t seem to have any tummy issues right now

Go and have a hot bath yourself and then get some sleep. If you can get in a few solid hours before midnight, that will make a huge difference.