Would you leave your baby to cry like this?

[Homelip]

8 week old walking up after a feed within the hour but doesn’t want feeding when offered. Nappy fine. Etc.

On a couple of occasions I’ve rocked the cot to get him to go off to sleep or left him to cry for up to 10 mins. They then fall asleep again. Is this ok? I’m worried it’s not given the age

I could never leave my baby to cry. Physically hurts me. They don't understand why you're not there comforting them. They need you and some days when I feel my baby being extra clingy I just remind myself one day she won't want my cuddles so I soak it all up.

Older family tell me to leave her to cry because I'm making a habit out of picking her up. Since when is caring for a child a bad thing?

In my eyes babies are precious and simply cannot be cared for and loved enough. You cannot smother your baby too much. No such thing.

Yes it’s fine. Baby has probably entered a light sleep which they can easily wake from as you see a little cry helps settle them back to sleep and enjoy a proper nap not a catnap which will leave him not properly rested. If you respond to every cry to quickly baby will never learn to settle and you will have baby attached to you 24/7.

I’m not recommending leaving a baby in distress to cry you’ll tell over time what cries mean. Some babies seem to be constantly attached to parent I have no idea how they ever get any rest, imagine someone waking you up every time you stirred in your sleep instead of allowing you to finish your sleep. I’d say a baby who has slept well usually wakes quite happy whereas a baby who is woken too soon either by someone or by entering a light sleeping phase will be gurning and sad.

I agree...I couldn't have beared to do so either.

But the one situation that it WOULD be understandable and acceptable is if the OP was feeling very overwhelmed by the crying and like she might lose her temper with the baby if she didn't walk away for a little while, in which case of course it would be the safer option....was that the case OP?

If so and it's something that you feel often, definitely seek some professional support as babies shouldn't be left crying for any amount of time on a regular basis especially that young when they haven't established whether their needs will be consistently met yet.

Do you feel you have generally been able to bond with your baby? Not feeling emotionally impacted by baby crying or having a strong desire to go and comfort them could be a sign of PND.xx

IME some babies cry out of tiredness before going to sleep, and too much interaction will stop them from dropping off. I sometimes left 2 of my babies to cry for 10 minutes before they went to sleep, it's nothing to be worried about IMO.

That's so tidy I absolutely wouldn't leave a baby to cry. I never left my son to cry especially at that age.

8 weeks old? No I wouldn't leave them to cry. 10 mins is a long time!

I might leave baby to cry while I ran to the toilet very quickly or I'd take them with me.

Please don’t leave such a small baby to just cry. Unless you are so overwhelmed, you need to physically walk away to keep yourself and the baby safe, it is not okay to just leave them like this. They are so tiny and helpless. You need to pick them up, hold them close and sing, talk to them, shhh them, stroke their head. Anything you can think of to comfort them out of crying.

I wouldn’t leave them to cry. The only
voice they have at that age is crying so they are telling you something. My baby cried and cried at that age and he had bad silent reflux so I spent a lot of time on the phone to the GP as they said it wasn’t normal and should try and help with his discomfort: ended up on ranitidine and he was a happier baby I also invested in anti reflux mattresses for cot and pram

This is not right - do not follow this advice for an 8 week old!

Whilst I'm reassured that the majority of people responding to this know that leaving an 8 week old to cry for 10 mins isn't right (I do accept if you're overwhelmed it's fine to put baby down and take a break etc etc) the people saying this is fine absolutely baffle me.

Your poor babies 😔

Or for any age baby....sadly there is still always one of these clueless posts not realising nurturing actually fosters independence...not the opposite 🙄

No I wouldn't.
I have 5 week old twins and when they cry I only leave them for about 2 minutes and that's if I'm making up their bottles etc. 10 minutes is far too long for 8 weeks. He's so small he doesn't understand. Probably just wants a cuddle.

Well that's stupid and completely untrue.
I never let my DS cry for that long and cry it out and he's the most independent little boy.

No, 8 weeks is too young.

Sounds like trapped wind, which is very painful, try picking him up and burping him when he cries. The baby should be held upright and jiggled for a minute or so, until hopefully the air/milk comes up. Most people hold the baby upright in their arms and gently pat the baby’s back while bouncing up and down, but I had more success with sitting baby on my knee, leaning baby forward slightly so his head and chest is fully supported by my arms, then jiggle my leg fast until he burps.

Other possibly is baby has colic / other growing pains and needs the comfort of you holding him.

A baby that age shouldn’t be left to cry alone, no. I know it’s hard work. Babycare is very hard work: it is a full time job. But you had the baby and now you have to do the hard work of looking after it.

2-3 minutes max
Enough time to use the toilet quickly
Enough time to grab a drink or a protein bar
Enough time to answer the door for next doors Amazon parcel
Enough time to sort out other siblings needs (help using the toilet, get them a drink or snack, kiss a sore knee etc.)
Enough time to change your clothes, brush your teeth OR wash your face because you feel gross but not all three
Enough time to take some deep breaths if feeling overwhelmed and regain composure
Enough time to answer a call and arrange a better time to call back
Of course life happens even with a baby, there are times you can't go to them immediately but it's best to if you can.
With a older baby maybe 4-5months plus you get to know their cries and know when they are winding down to sleep and just whimpering, or need you soon or need you immediately. But 8 weeks is still so small.

Have you tried baby wearing?

By the way, the Bell & Ainsworth study proved conclusively that mothers who respond quickly to their babies cries, end up with a baby who cries less often. Mothers who leave their babies to cry end up with babies who cry more often. Some ignorant people who don’t know this.

This 👆🏼

Absolutely not

Read up on 4th trimester

8 weeks is so young still

To be honest, I don't think I let DD cry for more than a few seconds on her own until she was about 18 months old.

By then, I could explain to her that I needed her to lie down and try to sleep while I made myself something to eat. She still cried, but she could understand why I wasn't coming to comfort her right then, and that I'd come back.

She was a bit PFB though.

By 'on her own' I don't mean alone - I mean, not actively holding or talking to her.

I didn't do that but I don't really understand why it would be damaging because even when you comfort a baby there are so many times they cry for wayyyy longer than 10 minutes so surely it's ok for babies to cry that long?

There is a MASSIVE difference between leaving a baby to cry for hours a day; to a baby crying for 10 minutes who is otherwise, loved, fed, cared for, help etc.

I'd recommend reading 'Diary of a baby' by Daniel Stern to understand a little of how an infant so small feels and understands their world. It's a small book but written from the perspective of a baby. It's very good.

Personally, no I wouldn't and I honestly don't think anyone should at that age in normal circumstances (obviously bar situations such as parent can't cope and has to put baby down as is a danger to them, is dealing with emergency etc)