3 1/2 year age gap siblings.. will they still be close

[miniworry]

We have a 2 year old and We were planning on TTC our second child once we get married, however work situations have meant that I need to delay TTC so that I'm not pregnant until after Easter (redundancies coming up and I don't want any reason to be considered).

The thing is we wanted a max 3 year age gap because I've read so much about the 'close bond' being similar ages but now I'm worried that the age gap might be too big for them to be really close.

Please could you share your stories and thoughts?

I am also aware there's absolutely nothing to say it may take us years to actually conceive,
I'm just referring to 'ideal world'.

I have 4 siblings and the one I'm closest too is 4 years younger than me.

Ach the closeness of your children will be down to them really regardless of age gaps. FWIW, I’m super close to all my siblings from 3 and 6 years younger to 14 months older. Much closer now that we are adults and not living under the same roof!
A healthy pregnancy is such a lottery. Good luck!

My eldest tends to "look after" my youngest. They fight like cat and dog! They are cute together. It doesn't seem like a bad age gap. The younger tends to be more interested in the older activities. It's always cool to have am older sibling in the know! They still have a lot in common. They are 12 and nearly 9 now so its easier.

Age gaps are not what make or break sibling relationships. Don't overthink it.

Closeness has nothing to do with age.

Do is 3 year older than one sibling and 9 year older than the other. He’s closest to the one with the 9 year age gap. You can’t predict sibling bonds. My friend has a 2 year gap with her sibling and doesn’t speak to her.

My DS (11) and DD (7) are really close. We make it a priority to spend time all together and encourage them to be good friends as well as siblings. We’re fortunate that they do actually like each other!

Well it’s too late now to make the gap smaller so I guess you have to roll with it!

In all seriousness, it’s not as important as people make out. The relationships are just different. There’s 5 years between me and each of my siblings and we do just fine. We were close as kids but not friends but as adults we’re tight.

As always it will be those with “3 under 3” or whatever saying you have to have a small age gap and those with five plus years between theirs saying a bigger gap is better. You’re children won’t know any different whatever the age gap is. And as other posters have said, a small age gap doesn’t guarantee a close bond.

4 and half years between me and sibling, we have a wonderful relationship and are very close.

DH is one of four. His parents had two sets of two, with a nearly five year gap in the middle. Those who are close in age aren’t the closest emotionally, for example, SIL1 is close to SIL 2, despite a nearly nine year age gap.

It’s more to do with temperament I think.

I have a 3 year gap with my older brother and he's the family member to whom I feel the closest.

My two boys have a smaller gap (19 months) and it's lovely but it's also been a lot of work. I used to feel like a small age gap was important but now that I'm ttcing my third, I feel like there's much to be said for a bigger gap !

Anyway, life it what it is and it's out of your control so I think you should focus on the positives of a bigger age gap.

Mine are 3.5 years apart, and in some ways closer than some kids with a smaller gap. They are close enough in age to share interests, but far enough that they don't see each other as competition.

Having said that, I would really strongly advise against delaying because of work. They won't thank you for it, and there will always be a work reason to not ttc

What's age gap got to do with anything, I come from 4 siblings and 15 year gap between me and youngest and we are all as close as anything...now with my own 4 kids theres a 13 year gap between 1st and 4th and you wouldn't think it they all adore each other. If a family has love in it no gap matters

Forgot to say that mine are 3 years apart (currently 17 & 14). As teenagers, there’s the odd argument/scrap, but they’ve always generally got on and enjoyed spending time together. I think they’ll be close as adults, they have private talks sometimes and advise each other-although DD is struggling slightly with the fact that her “little” brother is now taller than her. 😂

You won't like this response, but that's the age gap between me and my sibling and we have never been close. I deliberately had smaller gaps between my own DC and they are very close. Sorry. It might well be as much personality as age gap, but I don't know.

Mine are just over 3 years apart (7 & 4 atm) and are very close. Yes they argue but against everyone else they present a united front 99 percent of the time. They play together, do a couple of extra curricular activities together and happily choose to spend time in each other's company.

It might change as they grow but it took me that long to be willing to risk another bout of postpartum psychosis so it is what it is.

I know twins who don't get on! Of course it's personality not age gap.

I think it has more to do with personality than age gap, also how you parent to some extent.

You can have twins who hate each other you can have close siblings with a huge gap.

I have 4. The eldest, 25 gets on best with the 15 year old, the 23 year old with the 17 year old. You can’t force anything.

I have 3, two boys 21 months apart who can’t stand each other. My oldest is 4 years older than the youngest and they get along the best. So middle son has siblings 2 years older a and younger and doesn’t particularly like either of them 😂

^ This.

My two young adult DSs have a 3.5yrs gap and didn't get along as kids, but are much better now but I know lots of other siblings with the same gap that were really close. And I look know twins that were as combative as our boys and siblings with a >5 year age gap who were inseparable.

"And I look know twins"

??

And I also know... 🙄

This! Mine are exactly 3.5 years apart and they're great buddies ... when they're not squabbling like all siblings.
My brother and I were 15 months apart and didn't really get on til we grew up

This exactly. I have two extremely close in age but different genders. They were extremely close when younger but sadly grew apart. They are 17 and 18 now but really lost the closeness when the eldest was around 10. Things may or may not change in the future but you can’t force it.