resent my toddler-cant get him to bed before 11pm

[Humptydumpty666]

Help how do people get their toddlers to sleep by 7??? Mines up til 11 and yes thats not because of lack of activity
We have dinner, he watches tv for a bit, I then say its bedtime, do pyjamas, wash, refuses to listen to a bedstime stoey he just rips the book out my hand and screams at me so i put him in his bed, he screams and comes into my bed, then pisses about for an hour, stares at the celing for an hour, asks for snacks, plays with his toys. Its taking its toll i end up shouting at him everyday cuz imntired and irratable sucks all the joy from my life i cant even have a wind down before bed.

How old is he? Does he nap? (If so I’d say cut that out.) what time does he get up? Children need a certain amount of sleep in a day (there are general guidelines based on age but each individual is different) so if he’s getting up late and/or napping it will mean he struggles to sleep in the evening.

can you try introducing an audio book (on a yoto player or tony box) or some gentle music to get him to stay in bed?

Sounds really tough OP. Does he nap? What time does he wake up in the morning?

Sorry @modgepodge cross post!

My son was exactly the same until he reached 2 and then he started going to bed earlier. I have found audio books really help. We have a cd player and CDs. Both my kids have their own cd player in their room and will listen to them to calm them down in the evening. My daughter falls asleep listening to hers but if she wakes up she would want us to put it back on for her, she can do it herself now. My son still needs his played on repeat during the night (if I have to listen to gruffalo child one more time I'll go mad) but I feel it's a small price to pay to get him to sleep. He does have suspected sleep apnea though so there is a lot of wake ups. I've also found a Lazer night light of the night sky helps to settle him before he falls asleep

How old? I would expect a toddler to have a baby gate to stop them being able to walk out their room
in the night.

What's his daily routine like?
What naps does he have and at what time?
What time do the screens go off?
What do you do to unwind with him?

FWIW some children naturally go to bed later than others. Mine weren't as late as that, but I got past the point of worrying that other people put their children to bed at 7pm. Mine were happy napping for longer and going to bed a little later than my friends' children.

Phases it will pass. However if he is getting up late he will go to bed late. If he is napping he may not need the day time sleep and so have less at night. Count the hours he sleeps out of 24 on average. Decide when you want those hours to fit in to the night e.g. 8.30 to 6.30 and gradually bring him forward 15 mins a day by waking him up earlier and going to sleep earlier.

2 and a half, wakes up at around 8 with no naps in the day. Even on his full days at nursery up at half 7 doesnt get settled till 10-11. We have dinner half 5, then he plays with his toys i put telly on then at 7 turn it off and say its bedtime. He used to sleep in his own bed but then decided he didnt like it so maybe it is an anxiety phase. I have thought of the audio thing but thinks like toni box is not good for us as I just on benefits atm. Is there anything similsr that does the trick for fairly cheap?

Does your local library have the borrow box app? You can get audio books to play on your phone or a tablet for free with that app if they do. Free to join libraries too. They might have audio CDs to borrow.

At 2.5 he might be overtired and missing a nap.
It's common for children who are overtired to be increasingly restless and then difficult to settle on an evening.

Apparently it can be helpful to keep the bedtime routine (tooth brushing, bath, pyjamas, story etc) to under 30 minutes - any longer and they can get a second wind. I found this helped when DD1 was 2 and I was overdoing the bedtime stories.

Might be what you already do but bedtime hour on cbeebies always helped because the tv tells them it's time for bed. Honestly made me sleepy!

I would stop the TV before bed, and any other screens. Calm after dinner and calm bed time routine.

I'd ditch the TV right before bed. That can have the opposite effect to chilling them out. 8 is quite late to sleep if you want him asleep by 7. I would try a few days of getting him up earlier - with a 7pm bedtime, he would be getting up between 6-7am most likely, so I'd try a few days of getting him up at 6.30 or something.

I would not allow tv in the evening as it can be too stimulating. Also maybe try a bowl of cereal just before bed to make sure he really is full. I would also try an earlier wake up of 6am and no naps for a couple of weeks to see if it helps adjust his sleep patterns. Then bath, story, lights out by 7pm.

I would start a new routine and be consistent with it. So dinner, play with quiet toys, no tv, then book before pyjamas on/teeth etc and then a cuddle and into bed. If he wants you near then you either stay in the room with him or do some bits pottering around upstairs and pop your head in every few minutes so he knows you are around. He isn’t going to just suddenly accept it, it will take time but just keep repeating calmly that it’s bedtime now. Mine all had a gate on their room at that age so they couldn’t escape and hurt themselves in the night.

He's probably overtired. Day sleep affects night sleep, so he needs enough sleep during the day to sleep well at night. If theyre undertired or overtired they wont sleep well at night. Sounds odd, but it works!

I missed the bit where you say he gets up at 8am. That is too late really, i agree with PPs, get him up earlier around 7am and make sure he gets plenty of exercise and fresh air every day.

Get the Ferber book about sleep training.

He did just drop naps around 2, he just flat out refuses the nursery staff say the same when hes there, he just stopped napping there as well. The audiobook on phone is a nice idea honestly hadnt thought of that my only issue with that he throws things at least twice a day and his nice toys he will throw them when hes annoyed but suppose could hide it under a teddy or something.

My child had tv till then bed time routine which we stuck to every night no matter gow boring as it worked, for us that is, bottle/food, bath/teeth, story than bed all in a short time

We did not bother how long it took to sleep as there was jusy toys or lying awake with bears talking to them or hanging upside or whatever but if he called for us we fixed the problem then gave a cuddle and left

He was never out of his room unless needing the toilet

The same routine started from when he was born and we never stopped so he was in bed between 6-7 every single night

Sure it felt like ground hog day and he took longer to sleep as he got bigger but he stayed in his room

This 100%

dinner , bath , bed

So finish dinner , straight upstairs, clothes off , into bath , pjs on straight into bed , story , then sleep
Just do this. Don’t deviate , no screen time , no downstairs etc , just stick to the routine
I’ve got 3 DC and they were all reliably sleeping by 7-730 latest
just zero external stimulation, only bath , bed , story , if it needs to be the same book then read the same book on repeat , but routine and sticking to it is the consistency that wee ones need.

My DC1 is 2y2m and dropped the nap about 6-7weeks ago.

We do dinner/tea about 515-530pm and no screens during or after dinner. Then quiet play/tidy up, bedtime stories x2 downstairs about 6pm ish if it's bath night (620pm ish if not bath night), then bath, teeth, pjs, into bed, one more story if needed then cuddles and usually calm and asleep about 7pm. Wakes up 730am, earlier for a nursery day.

Yes I’d also say 8am is really late to wake up at that age …
my three are at school and all up at 715
When they went to sleep at 7 they were up at 630-7 am as standard
Do u prefer him having a late wake up ? Do u not like early rising ? As this is what you will need to sacrifice to get “ adult time “ or an evening to yourself ?
Your DC is sleeping too late for his age IMO

I tend to do a bath just once a week because of energy cost and the fact he hates it and screams until its over so i wouldnt say it calms him but i do it just to when i have to. We dont have a gate because he is a very good climber, can move stools and things and because we dont have stairs, im a light sleeper and safety isnt a concern there. He likes to play chase whenever he needs to get dressed i still have to pin him down, he gets worked up over that, isnt potty trained yet. So none of it is particularly winding down i will definitely try audiobook
.