panicking i’ve hurt newborn

[choccyantelope]

baby is 4 days old. we’ve been doing shifts over the night, one sleep one hold her (she won’t be put down to sleep yet). been fine except it was my turn to stay awake holding her and i’ve just woke up to dh gasping and id fallen asleep and her head was bent back and she was still in my arms but loosely.

no idea how long it was for. could i have hurt her? how can i check?

She’s fine but you need to take this as a lesson learnt. What you are doing is SO dangerous. She will be put down but you’re making it so much worse by constantly holding her.

She can’t sleep like this. She could die. It’s not dramatic, it’s true. You need to stop.

Please don't be so hard on yourself, your not the first one to do it and you won't be the last. Just have a look at your routine and see what you can tweak to help yous both out

You haven’t hurt her. She will be fine.
Have you tried warning the cot with a hot water bottle? Before your put here in it? Remove the bottle and pop her on the warm patch
Look at safe cosleeping guidelines on line. I seem to remember it’s ok as long as neither of you are taking any medication. It’s also not unusual for babies to have a little grumble before they settle.
My DS had a bouncy chair and he would sleep in that. Not ideal. It wasn’t forever. But he had reflux. He’s now a strapping 18 year old. Worth a try maybe?

Your baby is just fine! Babies are a lot sturdier than we think. Placing your baby safely into a crib next to your bed is the very safest thing you can do. I know a woman who co slept with her baby and suffocated her. The woman was so tired and was deeply asleep, when it happened. 💔

Don't do this. Mine spent day three of being alive being scanned and checked because I dropped them on the floor in hospital after falling asleep.
Honestly, crying won't hurt her and much better to be safe in a cot.

I'm afraid I agree. Take it as a warning.

God, how terrifying! Thank God they were ok, and thank God you were in hospital at the time, as I could only imagine the questions which might have been asked if you had been at home!

This. Careful, safe cosleeping is so much safer than nodding off holding the baby because you're too tired to stay awake. Most 'co-sleeping' related deaths are when people accidentally fall asleep with the baby in a chair / on a sofa, not when they're safely in bed on a flat mattress with covers and pillows away from the baby.
I was very anti co-sleeping but quickly changed my mind with newborn DS.

Look into safe co sleeping. It's dangerous to fall asleep holding a baby so planned co sleeping is much safer if the baby won't be put down alone.

hereeverysaturdaynight
It was awful, woke up and no baby, attached to drip, realised with horror they were on the floor. Had to find a nurse and it was just panic. I overheard someone say 'any previous?'. It's one of those terrible moments you remember years later.

I don't think that any of you are listening to what the OP is saying. She is saying that the baby will not sleep unless being held (upright I'm presuming). Co-sleeping is not going to solve that problem for the OP. The OP has already had one scare (100% by accident obviously!!!!!!!!!!!!).

I'm not sure that co-sleeping is the best advice for the OP right now.

I would buy Infacol (it's unfortunate that today is Christmas day so the shops are closed), and give that to the baby RELIGIOUSLY BEFORE EVERY SINGLE FEED.

That will rule out colic.
Aside from that, ensure that the baby is warm enough, but above all, please please please, don't continue with this holding the baby upright 24/7.

It is NOT SAFE.

Pretty sure we have all read the thread - cosleeping means that you curl yourself around your baby in a way that keeps them very close and for some babies who will 'only be held', the closeness of cosleeping works v being out in a separate cot.

I can't imagine the terror! God above.

Years ago, the babies were brought to a nursery during the night and the Mums all had a chat in the evenings and got a night's sleep. I'm talking 40 years ago though.

I breastfed and had a c-section but the midwives could see that I was utterly shattered on night 3 I'd say, so they took the baby for a few hours one night so that I could sleep.

The exhaustion is something else.

She has said that the baby will not sleep like that!!!!!!!!

No she hasn't. She's tried a next to me cot and then slipping away.

@Hugasauras

This is what the OP is saying. The baby will not CO-SLEEP.

Given what has happened, the OP is going to have to suck it up and stop what she's doing now.

That's in the next to me cot. Read it in context. And you don't slip away with cosleeping, you stay there.

Given that babies sleep most of the time, are you suggesting that the OP spends her day in bed for the next 6 months?

No but during the day it's no problem to hold a baby while they sleep.

If you're not tired maybe!!!!

Which you won't be if you're able to get sleep overnight cosleeping

Are you saying that a Mum/Dad can't fall asleep accidentally during the day, when they're exhausted with a newborn?
Because that's bunkum and needs to NOT be mentioned ever again on a parenting forum.

For goodness sake, the child isn't sleeping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to have to get off this thread before I explode.

I'm not sure if you're being deliberately obtuse or genuinely unable to read but I have to do Christmas stuff now. Best of luck, OP