When does Christmas become enjoyable again?

[PanicAtTheTesco1]

It goes without saying that I absolutely adore my DS (8 months) but wow I'm finding my first Christmas with a baby hard!

I usually love Christmas, but this year it just feels totally pointless. DS is too little to feel any Christmas magic, so it's just the drudgery of nappy changes, weaning, and fighting sleep but with a Christmas tree in the background.

We're currently staying at my inlaws and I really miss the days of turning up, grabbing a drink and relaxing with everyone. Instead, it's been trying to keep DS entertained, trying to get him to nap in an unfamiliar bed and trying to get him to eat something.

To top it off he's had a cold for about 3 weeks and conjunctivitis, so we're having to clean his eyes and put drops in every few hours which is always a battle.

I feel really sad, like I'm watching everyone else have a nice Christmas while I'm still trapped in parenting purgatory.

When will I enjoy Christmas again?

I don’t think 0-1 is the easiest stage at all! From around 3 is when it starts to get easier in my opinion. Haven’t reached the teenage years yet so can’t comment on when it starts to get harder again.

0-3 at Christmas is shit- I remember not being able to sit with everyone and eat lunch, not being able to drink, to join in because of baby naps, feeds etc- it's really hard when everyone else can sit down and chill and your rocking a grumpy baby. Mine r 5 & 8 now so much better, even if the 5 year old had a mini meltdown yesterday morning!

OP I completely understand. Mine are 3 and nearly 5 now, and for the most part it's been magical. However, my first Christmas with a baby, at 9 months old, was the worst I've ever had. We were staying with family (normally lovely, but we had to bring EVERYTHING with us) and I was desperate to enjoy at least a little bit of Christmas like I could pre-children. I ended up sobbing over the travel cot when DS refused to sleep while everyone else was having a party downstairs.

I think it's the crashing adjustment from childfree to being mum at Christmas, you've had years of expecting Christmas a certain way and with children that's just impossible. The second year and every Christmas since (including the one when my DD was a baby) have been better as I know now what to expect. They still have challenges and are a lot of hard work, but they've definitely been better than that first one. Hang on in there.

The early years with DC were lovely as expectations are low and they are just excited by the atmosphere. Of course the routine never goes away and entertaining them and keeping them safe for the first few years is time consuming! If there are other adults to pitch in, that helps. But I think it's easier staying at home with v young DC as it's easier to keep them in their routine and they have their toys etc.

My DC are 8 and 10 now and have been easier for the last few years. They love the build up, we have Xmas traditions that they remember and look forward to, so it is lovely. It's hard work for me as I host, but that is another story!

When the DC were 1 and 3 we had Xmas at my parents' and it was really hard work as my parents like to get up late and sit around a lot (not a criticism, but they were already late 70s and not as much energy as when they were younger) which just doesn't fit with the energetic life of toddlers.

It gets easier as the child gets older, and the same applies to the other 364 days a year.

Yes this happened to me. Now we print off what we want so Santa doesn't get mixed up. And we keep a copy for ourselves. Big. Somewhere we refer to often in November and December.

Next year will already be more fun. They are then old enough to open presents and play with toys.
2020 our DS was 5 months old and it was crap. 2021, 17 months old and he opened presents and played with toys and was generally quite happy. This year at nearly 2.5 it was great fun and a nice day.

Honestly it's always a bit difficult for differing reasons as they get older and never quite lives up to the hype. There I said it. My advice now that the eldest is an adult....

Ditch social media entirely, it is the thief of joy.

Take pleasure in all the little happy and content moments, most of them aren't planned and just happen so be present for them.

Don't pack in too much in the run up to Xmas or during the festive period, everyone ends up tired and running low/ill. You don't need to do all the stuff that is out there that is portrayed as a must do for Xmas.

Hope your DC is better soon.

Sorry no idea why all those big gaps are in my reply!

I actually much preferred Christmas when my DC were little. We have just hosted 3 generations - my obnoxious MIL has just left after doing her best Nigel Farage impression for 3 days. She will be missed only by our 8 year old DD, who fortunately missed Nanny being told in no uncertain terms by DH to keep her racist views to herself. She is a multi-faceted bigot, my MIL, so she also managed to offend/hurt my adult DD and her wife. Another DD came back from first term at Uni all radicalised and pontificating about how everything she was expected to do (load the dishwasher etc) was an infringement of her human rights. Quite frankly, most of them behaved badly and I am bloody relieved the shit show is over. It was quite lovely when they were all little and non-political.