When does Christmas become enjoyable again?

[PanicAtTheTesco1]

It goes without saying that I absolutely adore my DS (8 months) but wow I'm finding my first Christmas with a baby hard!

I usually love Christmas, but this year it just feels totally pointless. DS is too little to feel any Christmas magic, so it's just the drudgery of nappy changes, weaning, and fighting sleep but with a Christmas tree in the background.

We're currently staying at my inlaws and I really miss the days of turning up, grabbing a drink and relaxing with everyone. Instead, it's been trying to keep DS entertained, trying to get him to nap in an unfamiliar bed and trying to get him to eat something.

To top it off he's had a cold for about 3 weeks and conjunctivitis, so we're having to clean his eyes and put drops in every few hours which is always a battle.

I feel really sad, like I'm watching everyone else have a nice Christmas while I'm still trapped in parenting purgatory.

When will I enjoy Christmas again?

It gets better but Christmas is always going to be different now for you. I look back at my child free Christmas’ with fond memories but they’re never coming back until mine are all grown. Was lovely when they were little and now they’re teens it’s quietening down again.

Next year should be much better for you! Our girl was about 13 months last Christmas and it was lovely. More tantrums but still lovely this year at two years old. By next Christmas we’ll have another baby so I’m writing that one off . 🤣

We have stayed at home since having dc. Sometimes I wish we were part of a rowdy group, but it makes it manageable being just us. The bit where the baby naps is pretty good. We cook a lot less, too, so it isn’t stressful (… but, because of the dc, it is still magical).

Hmm, my two are almost 6 and 9 and it's the first year we haven't had a bauble smashed (yet)

So you've only six years to wait, op

😂🎅🍷

Oh god yes it's horrible. I had a 6 week old at Christmas and all I wanted to do was sleep. Hang on in there it gets better. DS is 7 now and we are at peak Christmas! I am so excited about tomorrow (although it has been a stressful week to get to this point).

Why can't you relax and have a drink?

Felt exactly the same the past few years, my eldest is 3 now and she's so excited, it's lovely. But I remember feeling the exact same, it does get better!

Because I have 3 young dc to feed, entertain, clothe, stop the boys killing each other, none of them sleep well and then I have to do it all again at 7am. Parenting, obviously?

Christmas won't go back to that one's where you just turn up as a guest and relax for about 30+ years.

Whether at home or away, you'll be doing the juggle - and this age is probably the easiest for Christmas, although you dont get much back.

I have a 3+5yo and Christmas is magical, and fun, but it's also relentless and exhausting. On a few hours of broken sleep last night (bad night, they still happen, and quite often here...), I've run round crazily all day, and am just sitting down now, in my 3yo's room, hoping I can sneak out soon, after 90m of bed. My reward for getting her to sleep - cracking on with the dozen items on my list, before falling into bed, knowing it'll he another broken night.

I love Christmas, but its exhausting with children, especially if hosting.

Thanks for those who left kind comments and reassurance that it does get better! I honestly think that once DS is old enough to enjoy it, I'll start to enjoy it again. I know it'll still be tiring, but if DS is having a great day then that'll make it worth it!

Not sure why you can't relax and have a drink ?

Surely being at in laws is the whole point is that you can do exactly that?

I have a 5 month old and we've decided to stay home. I find it tiring still and baby still having a night feed and isn't sleeping well so doenst feel much different to the new born stage ! But if I was at in laws I would embrace family members helping so that you can get a break ?

I think most years it's pretty ' different' with a child

I think the issue here is your expectation maybe ? I've done it myself - had a second baby and thought it would be different this time
Easier and less tiring - boy was I wrong ! So embrace the fact you are somewhere someone else is hosting which is hard imo

We just wanted a nice quiet Xmas and stay home, get up when we want ( we share sleep ) I've slept 6-8am which is enough as I've had broken sleep in night and hubby is now sleep probably 8-10 ish and we will have an a free on nap later when bubs sleeps most likely. So we can have a bit of an evening when she's in bed. She goes to bed at 7pm so we have the evenings. Couldn't do any of that at the In laws as they are having other sons and daughters over and one has a new born.

We have also booked Xmas day at the local pub, cant wait ! No cooking or cleaning up
Bliss

Shame you feel so sad though op
Maybe try roll with it and grab a drink and relax if you can x

Honestly?

4

once they reach 4+ it's great. Once they have opened stuff in the morning they just get on and play with it leaving you free to do whatever you do.

Keeping an 8m old entertained?! 😂 Wait till next year and the year after that...! Surely at that stage it's feeds, naps and cuddles more than anything, with some time on playmat etc. Sit back and enjoy being hosted in-between and sleep any chance you get. Your hosts/your oh might be so kind as to let you sleep on while they take baby for a few hours.

I'm feeling similar this morning my DS is 19 months and this years felt so flat and my DSS is 10 and doesn't believe so there's been no magic.

All the hard work and effort I've put in because I love Christmas and want to make everybody happy, which they are, but it has just felt flat. I'm hoping next year will be better.

Solidarity xx

My first was 9 months for her first Christmas and I felt similar OP. She wasn't an easy baby and was teething too, we were staying with family which I don't love at the best of times (although the family themselves are lovely, just prefer to be in my own place). I have always loved Christmas but did find that rapid adjustment from adult Christmas to a baby a bit rough. I think I found everything a bit rough that year!

I do think there's a special place in hell for women who see a poster clearly struggling a bit to adapt to motherhood and shut her down by telling her how easy it is, just wait for the teenage years.

Mine are 4 and 2 now, and this morning has been truly lovely. The build up has been stressful as the 4yo in particular has been a tired, emotional mess, but so far all worth it.

JenniferBarkley, I don't think you're talking to me but if you are, I apologise to OP. I certainly didn't mean to 'shut you down' but just to offer some perspective and also to count your blessings..yes it can be exhausting but to be hosted and fed is a huge plus. Many would love to have an 8m old in arms, hard as they are, they are precious times. Hope you have a lovely day...and some sleep!! The most important bit!

Op hang in there from about 3-9 its the most amazing time and so magical.. mine are 12 and 10 now i miss the magic so much .

I’ve already posted, but just to reassure you Xmas day with my ~3 year old has been so super. Best I’ve had in years, including pre DC. He’s really loved and understood presents, enjoyed lunch, had a good run around outside with his cousins and we’re now settling down to watch some tv. Even better, he’ll go to sleep tonight at 8pm and we likely won’t hear from him until morning. Granted, DS was a difficult baby and has generally been a pretty average toddler, but i cannot relate at all to anyone saying Xmas with a baby is the easiest. This has been an infinitely and better and easier day than when he was 10 months old!

I asked DH today when he thought we’d have an enjoyable Christmas again 😂
Both of my children were a few months old for their first Christmas so basically fed and slept (with the odd poo explosion thrown in!). Christmas up until this year has actually been lovely. They are 2 years and 5 years (5yr old has SEN) and they have driven me crazy today! Over stimulated, overwhelmed, over excited and overtired! Lost count on the tantrums the 2 yr old has had! Roll on bedtime! (9 minutes and counting!)

Omg I could have written this post. 8 month old DD and today has just been the most unchristmasy shit Christmas ever. I’m almost halfway through chemo as well which doesn’t help but actually most of what has made today hard is the grumpy baby 🙁

I don't know when it gets better but not yet for us!
4 year old,2 year old and an 11 month old...this Christmas has been the worst one so far 😅 fighting over each other's toys,the crying,tantrums,so overwhelmed and exhausted but nobody will nap. We must have had at least 30 tantrums today. Don't even get to relax with a drink when they've gone to bed either because the 2 year old and the baby still wake up loads in the night. Hopefully next year will be the one when it gets nicer

@WorryMcGee oh wow that sounds hard, sending hugs. The worst part isn't the chemo but the grumpy baby says it all doenst it 😩x

Aw god OP I have an 8 month old with conjunctivitis too 😄

Crucially we also have a 5 & 7 year old and yesterday was fab! Just us thought so was kind of like a normal weekend plus loads of pressies. Hopefully will host next year. I’d say once they are 2 or 3 it starts getting magical. We have some cute videos of DS1 opening his presents age 2 and his little voice…! ❤️

@VivaVivaa that sounds wonderful and I totally agree - babies I think are hard! And anyone saying otherwise and that toddlers are harder they must have had chilled easier babies !! Because my toddler was waaaaaaay easier and a very hard high needs baby, she's now 11 yrs and can honestly say it got easier for me around 1.5 years. It was a doddle compared to how she was as a baby. My now 5m old is so difficult and I'm still finding it so hard. X

@baconisgoodforme that does sound very difficult indeed I hope you have a peaceful night
I sometimes feel Boxing Day is the better day, more chilled than the hype of Xmas day
X

1.5 enjoyed looking at tree and presents
2.5 got the whole santa thing and loved it