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Parenting

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Original poster

At breaking point with 9 month old

49 replies

bakewellbride · 23/12/2022 22:45

She won't settle in her cot and I'm still recovering from being sick so just feel so run down.

I just absolutely hate all this so much.

I don't know how much more I can take.

OP posts:

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WafflesOrIceCream · 23/12/2022 22:48

I didn't want to read and run.Is there anybody who can help you right now?

star8 · 23/12/2022 22:52

Sounds like a really tough time. Take a breather. The hard time will pass. You are stronger than you think. Anyone around to help give you a break?

WafflesOrIceCream · 23/12/2022 22:52

Would she settle in your bed?Just so you can get some rest.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

6-9 months old 9-12 months old Babies & sleep Families

Original poster

bakewellbride · 23/12/2022 22:54

There is nobody. My dh has to be up at 4am for work. There is no one else. I can't bring her into my bed. The whole thing is just one exhausting nightmare.

OP posts:

JoAlone2022 · 23/12/2022 22:59

I'm sorry OP. How would she normally settle?

Original poster

bakewellbride · 23/12/2022 23:00

I always breastfeed her to sleep then put her down. It usually works pretty well. She's just going through a hellish phase.

OP posts:

Morielle · 23/12/2022 23:04

She wants to be on you. It's so hard isn't it, I used to worry about falling asleep with mine constantly on my or attached at night.
When she finally goes off you'll probably get a good sleep from her. Keep strong momma it'll pass

WafflesOrIceCream · 23/12/2022 23:16

I'm sorry OP.This will pass I promise.Big hug coming your way.

PumpkinLumpkin · 23/12/2022 23:54

Why can't she come into your bed?

Original poster

bakewellbride · 24/12/2022 03:48

Thanks all. Tonight has easily been the worst ever. I honestly feel like I've had hardly any sleep. I'm on my knees. It's SO hard.

OP posts:

VintageVest · 24/12/2022 03:54

If she can't be in your bed, can you make a spot for her on the floor so you can feed and then roll away without disturbing her perhaps?

Daffodils8 · 24/12/2022 05:19

Solidarity OP. I'm at the exact same point with my 10 month old. I started bedtime routine at 7pm, finally got him in his cot at 8.45. He stayed asleep long enough for me to flick the kettle on but woke before it boiled.

He's sleeping easily on me but wakes as soon as I put him down. At 12.30, got him down successfully and went to brush my teeth and get in bed...he was up again at 12.50.

At 4, i managed to get him in his cot and go to bed but he was awake within 10 minutes so no time for any sleep. My other has work in the morning so no hope of sleep. I'm just so tired.

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 24/12/2022 07:47

I remember this.
Could never even finish sentences was so tired.
To this day I don't know how I got through it, so no useful advice sorry.
But I somehow got through, though how I did it without burning the house down or similar from exhaustion I don't know, and when I got some sleep my ability to compute sentences returned, it felt like magic it had been so long.
So sending solidarity and cheering you on because it's bloody tough.

Squamata · 24/12/2022 07:52

I know it's too late now but I've sometimes put dressing gown on, put mattress (or folded blankets to be a mattress) and co slept with DC on the floor. Not ideal but better than nothing.

Beginningless · 24/12/2022 07:55

Oh I’m so sorry. For me 9-12m was always the hardest time as by then the sleep deprivation was really chronic and baked into my sanity. ‘This too shall pass’ is not often that comforting at the time but it really is true. Imagine all the mums with you telling you that you will survive even when you feel you can’t.

Original poster

bakewellbride · 24/12/2022 10:31

Thanks all. I feel a bit pathetic as I have an almost identical thread I started just a few days ago! I think everything just feels worse as I'm still recovering from a sickness bug.

Last night was her worst ever and I got literally hardly any sleep. At 5am she finally settled and I crept back into my room where my 4 year old was asleep in my bed (he does this sometimes). He immediately started asking if it's 'wake up time' every couple of minutes and I just got really frustrated with him. I said he needs to stop saying that and let me sleep and if he kept on then he might not get his gift from the elves. I feel guilty but it worked and the 3 of us all woke after 8am.

I feel horrible today and can't wait for dh to get home from work. Ds keeps bloody talking to me about Star Wars and it's just never ending. I hope everyone else is ok.

OP posts:

Original poster

bakewellbride · 24/12/2022 21:32

Stuck with the baby again. I am truly at breaking point mentally and physically. I don't even feel like I'm seeing in colour anymore everything is just in this thick grey fog of exhaustion. I don't know if anyone will read this but I'm desperate.

OP posts:

OgdensGoneNutFlake · 24/12/2022 21:47

I'm reading OP and I'm sending hugs. I've been there (fairly recently) and all I can say is that you will get through it. You're exhausted and still putting your kids first which shows what an epic mum you are

Anything that you can let slide, let it. Housework doesn't need to be done, fuck it you don't all need to shower or eat vegetables.

Just keep going one foot in front of the other. Sleep when you can, work hour by hour.
It will get lighter xx

Lovetotravel123 · 24/12/2022 22:29

This happened to me once and we just ended up sleeping on the floor together. Hang in there. It does get easier. Although, I know that every hour of the day feels very long right now.

LeilaRose777 · 24/12/2022 23:02

If your DH is home, get some earplugs, go to bed and just sleep. At this point nothing else is more important. I really feel for you but you shouldn't be "stuck with the baby" when you're so ill and exhausted. He need to step up.

Original poster

bakewellbride · 24/12/2022 23:59

Thank you all. Even knowing my messages are being read helps. Just so tired.

OP posts:

Original poster

bakewellbride · 25/12/2022 00:01

Not really. Dh is in a bad mood and exhausted himself from work. It's just shit all round.

OP posts:

EggyBread · 25/12/2022 00:02

put a bed in her room and co sleep

suzyscat · 25/12/2022 00:05

Oh how rubbish. It could be the 8 month sleep regression? With my youngest I was so broken I actually forgot it was a thing until it was over and my brain started to function again. It does pass, just not quickly enough.

felixthefox · 25/12/2022 00:07

I’m so sorry you are dealing with such a tricky situation OP.

My DS stopped being able to be put down at a similar age so I feel your pain, the only thing that has saved our sanity is cosleeping. I saw that she can’t go in your bed, can you cosleep in her room?

Just any solution that gets you sleep is the best one at the moment. Can you put her cot mattress on bedroom floor and feed her lying down and then make yourself a little bed next to her for the night?

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