Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Would you leave 8 and 6 year old home alone for 5 minutes?

42 replies

Coffeellama · 20/12/2022 22:21

Just that really, is it ok? Ex keeps leaving 8 and 6 year old home whilst he runs to the shop, it’s about 5 doors away. There’s no reason to do it, he doesn’t have them for very long and they’d happily walk to the shop. I would never do this, I don’t agree with it and it’s just not necessary, its the middle of the day when he has them, he can just take them with him or wait!

But he just can’t see a problem with it and makes out I’m just being a cow by saying please don’t. So is it ok as it’s not for long?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
RoseslnTheHospital · 20/12/2022 22:28

No not at all. 5 minutes can unexpectedly turn into longer if something unusual happens. If he was in an accident no one would know the children were alone at home. Never mind the mischief that a 6 year old could get into unsupervised even in a few moments.

maddy68 · 20/12/2022 22:29

Definitely not

RoseslnTheHospital · 20/12/2022 22:29

Oh and he's being lazy as well in not just taking them with him. Accompanying an adult on a short shopping trip is a great learning experience and opportunity for interaction with his children.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

6 year olds Behaviour & development Families General parenting
Nimbostratus100 · 20/12/2022 22:29

no I wouldn't - I might leave an 8 year old alone if I was in a shop a couple of doors away, but two children can do an awful lot of damage to each other

DenholmElliot11 · 20/12/2022 22:30

I would if it was just 5 doors down yes.

I spend longer than 5 minutes in the shower and leave the kids alone playing

Cassillero · 20/12/2022 22:30

Depends on the child I think. My youngest (who's now 15) would have been absolutely fine. My twins - no way - they'd have murdered each other or set fire/flooded the house in that time.

AnuSTart · 20/12/2022 22:31

I would.

Kendodd · 20/12/2022 22:32

Yes I would, if they were just watching TV or something.

Justleaveitblankthen · 20/12/2022 22:33

Was it your DC that told you about this OP?

Kendodd · 20/12/2022 22:34

Also, he parents differently to you, as he's entitled to.

bakewellbride · 20/12/2022 22:34

It's not ok. 8 too young.

shivawn · 20/12/2022 22:45

Depends on the children I would say. I know my 2 nieces aged 6 and 9 stay home alone sometimes while my sister in law pops across the road to my house. The girls get on really well and are responsible enough to watch TV alone for 5 minutes.

Original poster
Coffeellama · 20/12/2022 22:46

Justleaveitblankthen · 20/12/2022 22:33

Was it your DC that told you about this OP?

Sort of, i spotted he’d been to the shop and when I mentioned the shop to the kids the eldest said daddy went without them and they didn’t no were he was. He snuck out while they were busy. When asked the eldest revealed this has happened several times. DC seem fine with being left. I mostly just don’t see the need. If showering like someone else mentioned I don’t lock the door and DC can pop their heads around if needed.

OP posts:
AnyRandomName · 20/12/2022 22:47

I would tbh, yes

Original poster
Coffeellama · 20/12/2022 22:48

For context the eldest is very sensible, youngest absolutely is not and would happy wonder out if the house to look for him if the mood took them. But he sneaks out when they are playing. Busy road outside the house but both kids are sensible outdoors.

OP posts:
FictionalCharacter · 20/12/2022 22:51

No I wouldn’t. For a start people say “5 minutes” and it’s usually much more. A lot can happen in a few minutes that a child may not be able to cope with. Choking on food, a smoke alarm going off, a stranger coming to the door. Not very likely but very serious if it did happen.
It’s even worse that they didn’t know where he was. They could panic and go out looking for him.
He could easily take them with him.

Minikievs · 20/12/2022 23:03

I would, yes, if it's 5 doors down.
I wouldn't sneak off though, I'd tell them where I was going and when I'd be back.

PuttingDownRoots · 20/12/2022 23:03

Honestly? I used to have to go further to take the bins out. That used to take 10 mins with a few trips between the garage and end of road with the various bins. I used to do it when they were in bed.

Whats he going for? Big difference between bread for lunch and beer for later.

Original poster
Coffeellama · 20/12/2022 23:07

PuttingDownRoots · 20/12/2022 23:03

Honestly? I used to have to go further to take the bins out. That used to take 10 mins with a few trips between the garage and end of road with the various bins. I used to do it when they were in bed.

Whats he going for? Big difference between bread for lunch and beer for later.

Snacks and beer for now, just 1 for while he’s with the kids in the afternoon. He doesn’t live here and I always make sure there’s enough food in the house, but I don’t buy beer. I think he’s just bored really.

OP posts:
formulatingAresponse · 20/12/2022 23:12

It's not illegal. It's up to the parent to decide if their DV can cope apparently

formulatingAresponse · 20/12/2022 23:12

DC

aliasname · 20/12/2022 23:17

No, mainly because I don't think it's fair to leave an 8 year old 'responsible' for a 6 year old. If anything happens, they end up feeling guilty.

Maybe I just have bad childhood memories, but I hate the idea of making the oldest child feel that pressure & responsibility.

RoseslnTheHospital · 20/12/2022 23:56

He can't manage without snacks and beer for a few hours? So he'd rather risk leaving the children than take them with him or manage without the snacks/beer??

BabyFour2023 · 20/12/2022 23:57

Absolutely not. It’s so irresponsible!

AegonT · 21/12/2022 21:28

8 year old yes if sensible and told not to touch cooker etc or answer door. 6 year old no and not in the charge of an 8 year old.