Would you leave 8 and 6 year old home alone for 5 minutes?

[Coffeellama]

Just that really, is it ok? Ex keeps leaving 8 and 6 year old home whilst he runs to the shop, it’s about 5 doors away. There’s no reason to do it, he doesn’t have them for very long and they’d happily walk to the shop. I would never do this, I don’t agree with it and it’s just not necessary, its the middle of the day when he has them, he can just take them with him or wait!

But he just can’t see a problem with it and makes out I’m just being a cow by saying please don’t. So is it ok as it’s not for long?

No chance. 8&6 is far too young.
I’d only ever consider leaving my 12 year old alone for 5 mins if emergency, but I’d never leave him with his younger 2 siblings.

I don't see a problem with it at all. Parents these days are way too precious about leaving their kids alone for a few minutes. No wonder so many children are growing up with anxiety and poor coping skills.

That’s just rude. No child is going to get anxiety because their parents didn’t leave them unattended to go to the shop to buy beer at age 6. Absolutely fine if you don’t see a problem with it, that’s why I asked, but to suggest that NOT leaving them alone for no good reason is going to cause them to grow up with mental health issues is stupid.

Im not being precious by not doing this with them, I just take them with me if I’m going to the shop because… well why not?

No I wouldn’t leave them.

@Coffeellama there is a poster a few posts up who would barely leave their 12 year old for 5 minutes. Research shows that children who are cosseted are more likely to develop confidence and anxiety issues as they start to think my parents don't trust me to do this by myself. This message has the knock on effect of lowering their faith in their ability to do things and reduces resilience. See the work of Dr Daitch on Anxiety Disorders for example.

Leaving an 8 year old for 5 min? Yeah, my mother left me home alone at that age for 15 min to go pick up my siblings, with the door locked so no one could come in. I was not to answer it, nor the phone if it rang.

Sneak out and not tell the 8 year old I would be gone for 5 min? Absolutely not

I could leave my 6 year old alone but I don't. My dad has when he's needed to take the dog out but my son is very sensible and my dad is very neat and tidy and a stickler for safety (ie everything is regularly serviced and checked, nothing dangerous left at low levels, nothing heavy in a position to fall etc.

Yes if literally 5 doors down. I've left mine at the same age when I've gone to collect parcels which have been taken in by neighbours about the same distance away.

I have a 6 and 8 year old. I’d be ok with leaving my 8 year old 5 minutes if it was literally that close. Not the 6 year old though and not them together because they’d argue.

Yes I think so. At first I was thinking "as a one off" but actually if it really is only 5 doors away for 5 mins then more often is fine. Albeit I don't see why he wouldn't just take them if they want to go!

Leaving without telling them is not on.

I wouldn’t leave them. When my sons were 5 and 8 they were playing with a sponge ball. The oven hob was off but still hot. The ball landed on the hob and caught fire. Thank goodness I was there, they didn’t know what to do and wouldn’t have been able to get out as doors were locked.

Yes. I used to nip to the shop for bread or whatever if I didn't want to disturb the kids if it was raining or whatever. It was fine.

No. A sensible 8 year old alone and with warning, yes. A 6 year old, not a chance. It might be 1-in-a-million that there’s a disaster but if I can’t live with the outcome from that then I won’t take the risk.

Mine are 10 & 8, so a bit older. I think it's the equivalent of going a few doors down to collect a parcel, which I think is fine and would do in a heartbeat.

Ultimately all DC are different though, mine are sensible and more than capable of being alone for 5 minutes.

Not leaving a 12yo though, for 5 minutes?? Surely they travel to school and back alone at that age?

My 12 year old doesn’t travel to school alone. His secondary school is 3-4 miles away from home and no direct school bus from our area.
A few months back I had to nip to the pharmacy for 2 mins to pick up a prescription that was ready for us. The pharmacy is a 1 min drive. My DS is a bright and very academically smart child. He can write you an essay on why you don’t open the door to strangers and the reasons behind it. Anyway, as soon as I got to the pharmacy he called me on my mobile to tell me there were people collecting for a cancer charity and he opened the door for them, but didn’t have enough cash so should he wait for me to return? I was horrified. I told him to stay on the phone to me and I shot straight back. As I approached my house the “volunteers” could see how upset and distressed I was and left before I even got to my front door.
God knows who they were. They didn’t knock on anymore doors on my street. After shouting at my son and explaining that they could’ve been anyone imitating charity volunteers, my son told me he felt he was obliged to give them some money as it was for a good cause. He said they were good people??!!! That’s the day I realised that even if my son is predicted to get level 9s at GCSEs because he’s a smart kid, somethings you only learn through experience and age. He is so naive that way and I didn’t even realise how naive until that incident! He’s just not streetwise enough even though he acts it sometimes. Freaked me out.

@Creatingusernamesismygame perhaps this is the problem? You have spent so much time helicoptering your 'very bright' child so they can write essays , but have forgotten to build their emotional intelligence and common sense. Letting them have small bits of independence and decision making from a young age means they don't panic at the age of 12. Your child knew he should not open the door to strangers and why, so was he told off for doing it? You rushing up 'upset and distressed' is not teaching him common sense. Perhaps you need to work on your own resilience and set a better example? Children learn in two ways: experience and imitation.