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Original poster

Should we get rid of the TV?

82 replies

knickerelasticjones · 02/02/2008 20:12

Let me at the outset say that I'm not at all somebody who is vehemently opposed to TV per se - but due to our DD1 both DH and I are now seriously considering getting rid of the TV for good (or at least for several years).

DD1 (nearly 3) just LOVES tv. She asks to watch it constantly and always cries and moans when it is turned off. If I am stuck at home with her all day (waiting for plumbers etc) it is a constant battle to get her to do other things. The problem is that at the moment she WON'T play with her toys / paint / read / do anything much apart from ask from TV.

Actually that's not true - she will play with her toys happily first thing in the morning (before 9am) and last thing at night (after 5.30) as she knows she NEVER gets TV at these times. When we've been on holiday and there is no TV, there is no problem!

I know that the logical thing would just be to limit her TV to 30 mins a day, but I feel that I will spend my entire time battling with her desperately trying to get her to do other things, and if we have a bad day I might just succumb and turn the TV back on.

What do you think?

Are we being too draconian? Or will we be glad we got rid and never look back?

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pukkapatch · 02/02/2008 21:11

just say no.
and mean it

after a few days, she will get the picture.

i would love to get rid of our tv. dh wont let me.

sushistar · 02/02/2008 21:11

Hey, if you only watch an hour of 'crap you've seen before' every day, is that WORTH the £140 licence fee even? Ditch the TV, and if you have paid for an annual licence they'll refund you the unused months. Spend the cash on something nice for DDs to replace the tv - a funky activity type thing (new paints? some nice books?). Spend your extra hour per evening learning Thai or playing your guitar or snuggling.
Tou sound lovely knickereleastic's DH. Why fight with your lovely DDs when there's no need?

Original poster
knickerelasticjones · 02/02/2008 21:13

Barking - good idea. Like it.

OH no - in a strange twist of irony we're missing CSI:NY (the ONLY Programme I really like). So I have to go for a bit

(I know.... I know....)

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DaphneHarvey · 02/02/2008 21:13

Sounds like you and Mrsknickerelastic have already made your minds up tbh.

But just wanted to add that it is perfectly possible to have a tv and limit the amount of time dcs watch it. Even with the tantrumming. I think it probably won't harm your DD to have a tantrum and for you to win the battle for as long as it takes tbh. Just my opinion, but I think dcs learn a valuable life lesson from firm boundaries. You might not like the fights but just because you don't like them doesn't mean you can't deal with them. If not tv it will be other things later. The crucial thing is to be prepared to play and engage with DD when tv is not on (thus showing that you can have lots of fun when tv is off), and reserve tv for an hour or so when you really really want to get on and do something else uninterrupted.

OTH if you and DH not bothered about tv, then get rid of it. Does not mean you are weird at all. But if you only ban it because you can't cope with DD having a tantrum when you say "No" to something then I'm afraid I do think you are backing down to a 3 year old.

sherby · 02/02/2008 21:13

Oh we were having a discussion about this a while ago and I did a thread asking what people did with their DC all day if they didn't have a tv.

I didn't have to worry about it in the end after DP came home with a 'surprise' for us.

The surprise being a brand new so big it takes over half the living room television .

Now I just scream 'no for the hundredeth bloody time you are not watching tv go play with your _'

Original poster
knickerelasticjones · 02/02/2008 21:14

DH again:

Not true. she likes Spooks too....

OP posts:
barking · 02/02/2008 21:14

Some good info white dot movement?

hairtwiddler · 02/02/2008 21:16

Prompted by knickers DHs very good point that I spend way too much online, am just thinking that whether or not you have a tv will not mean much in a few years time. We're all online just now... BBC iplayer is just up and running, youtube etc etc. You don't NEED a tv to watch the kind of stuff that interests you.
When ours packs in (likely will soonish) we won't replace, but wonder whether we'll have a larger screen pc...

Original poster
knickerelasticjones · 02/02/2008 21:17

DH:

thanks Daphne. You are very perceptive. We don't really suffer from 'tantrum fear' but we do like to pick our fights. It just seems like this is one long ongoing one that needs to be knocked on the head. (The fight NOT the DD...)

OP posts:
moondog · 02/02/2008 21:17

We've got a tv. My kids have not seen anything but CBeebies and choice DVDs though. Like others here have said,I am the adult and I decide when enough is enough.

I am not interested in tv myself (apart from You've been framed)

FillyjonkisCALM · 02/02/2008 21:19

oh I grew up without a tv

now i am quite probably weird

BUT

I don't remember it being a huge social hardship. I don't actually remember it every being an issue, tbh. IIRC when we wanted to watch something we just went round to a friend's house.

OTOH my kids do have tv. Not much, and they are not really interested anyway-really its a "Sunday afternoon movies once a month" or a "jesus its 4 am and dp is away and the kids are screaming for him" situation when its turned on. I do suspect that this is because we just don't watch tv ever, neither dp nor I have much interest in it.

But its easy enough to try it out, surely? Put the tv on a high shelf, or just turn it off, and say no. Better still, bung it in the loft or lend it out. See how it works for you-even if you sell it, tvs are easy enough to come by (ours was off freecycle), its not a once-and-for-all decision.

hairtwiddler · 02/02/2008 21:19

I spend way too much time online... I'm not addicted to buying husbands on ebay, honest

FillyjonkisCALM · 02/02/2008 21:21

oh I mean TECHNICALLY the kids don't have tv.

They don't actually watch broadcast tv, only dvds, as we are not hooked up to freeview or aerials or anything.

BUT I never get this distinction. They are hardly going to see anything racy on cbeebies...

hunkermunker · 02/02/2008 21:22

Ah, You've Been Framed - DS1 calls it "people falling over"

He may have seen that too...but it is funny

Quattrocento · 02/02/2008 21:23

TV is so yesterday, Hunker

Kill the TVs - all of them

dinny · 02/02/2008 21:25

I might only watch Lost

will work out a v expensive prog!

so if I get in from work late, what on earth would I do instead of turning the TV on (to watch crap!) with a cup of tea? everyone else in bed - what would I do? (God, how unimgainative am I??)

Hunker

hunkermunker · 02/02/2008 21:26

I can't, Quattro. I rely on it for a living. And, actually, even though there's an ever-increasing pile of shite on TV, I do believe that, done well, it's amazing.

DaphneHarvey · 02/02/2008 21:27

I watch mebbe 3 or 4 hours tv a week (usually a film), Masterchef atm, fantastic series like State of Play. And I really do appreciate it it when I do. Also my DH works in tv and occasionally likes to watch himself to keep on top of his game. So we really have to have it.

We just had to put our foots down when dcs realised in theory it could be on all the time. They now have times when it can be on and we keep ourselves amused when it isn't and so quite frequently have days/weekends when it hasn't been on at all. Just saying it can be done, that's all.

dinny · 02/02/2008 21:31

yes, me and Hunker are glued to it during working hours, so that bumps the old hours spent watching up a packet or 10.

Habbibu · 02/02/2008 21:45
Original poster
knickerelasticjones · 02/02/2008 22:05

Habbibu - oh pants, I've been rumbled!

OP posts:
workstostaysane · 02/02/2008 22:13

have not read all of this thread but IME, no tv is great.
it sounds smug but you really do do all sorts of other stuff and feel much better for it(well i do anyway). we have to go to the library or out to the park or sit and play quiet games when we want down time. (dd is 18mo) your dd will get to see tv at other peoples houses, grandma etc so she won't be a wierdo freak at school.
i really recommend life without one.

ChaCha · 02/02/2008 23:20

Another weirdo here

We don't have a TV in our home. My DH works long hours and there really is no time for TV when he finally comes home, I don't trust myself to leave the TV on with the DC around, too tempting to depend on electronic babysitter especially when feeling tired and sick. When i have free time (very rare) i listen to the radio, read good books, cook, go online and even finding the time to do those things is often difficult after a long day with a 1 and 2 year old and being PG.
I had the TV around when PG and b/f DS2 and DS1 wanted it on all the time. Now when we visit friends who have TV he hardly even notices it and spends time playing with their toys/causing havoc instead

DS1 has DVDs that we watch at intervals in the day but am also trying now to monitor that as well, bad weather doesn't help, only so much role play, blocks, colouring one can do in the day.

Good luck with your decision. I can recommend some good reading material if you like for arguments for/against the old box.

HTH x

Hulababy · 02/02/2008 23:33

Rather than getting rid of the TV, just stick to rules about when and what is watched. But you may need to be quite strict to start with, and be consistent.

Think is if you get rid she isn't learning about watching TV in moderation.

And you miss out on the bits of very good TV programmes which can be a good thing for you to watch together - there is a fair bit of educational value on there too.

Can you not just turn the TV off at the plug and put the remote somewhere out of the way. Then even if she tries to turn it on, it won't work for her.

branflake81 · 03/02/2008 08:42

Whilst I agree that too much tv is not a good idea, I also think that it can be valuable and lots can be learned from it. I can remember watching documentaries, kids shows etc and I genuinely believe it helped broaden my knowledge of the world.

Does anyone remember Wackaday with Timmy Mallet? My dad loathed this and hated us watching it. One episode Timmy went to Egypt. Afterwards, my dad quizzed us on it to see what we had learned - quite a lot as it turned out. Granted, you can learn about Egypt from a book but I don't think you can compensate for seeing things on a screen.

I think it's more important to have a balance. Limit tv viewing to however many hours a day you want and to certain programmes. However - I am against parents who ban everything. Haven't you ever had a horrid day and just want to slob in front of the tv because you're too tired to do anything more wholesome? Kids should be allowed the same privilege i think.