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Parenting

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Original poster

When did you return to work from mat leave?

30 replies

frenchie4002 · 17/12/2022 19:38

Just interested in some different experiences really. I always thought I’d take a year but I actually miss work a lot more than I thought and we could do with the money sooner rather than later. When did you return from mat leave? Did you wish you’d had a longer/shorter time off? How did you feel about returning to work?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

strawberrysummer19 · 17/12/2022 19:45

How old is your baby?

Mine is 5 months and I don't feel ready to go back at 9months really. I do want to go back but in an ideal world not for a year but not sure we can afford it

Going to see how I feel next year x

Sleepyquest · 17/12/2022 19:51

First baby - just after she turned 1
Second baby - 9 months

Our circumstances were different the second time and I couldn't afford any longer with this cost of living crisis shit. I didn't feel ready and had a lot of guilt as I'd had longer with my first but I had to. It's been a few weeks and I'm fine with it now

NoIncomeTaxNoVAT · 17/12/2022 19:52

I went back at 10months. I always thought id take a year but after i had a very poorly baby, i had terrible PND / PNA and i actually found that getting back to work helped me recover and be a better mum to DD. I knew from about 6 months, as i started thinking about work and feeling like i was ready to get back in the swing of things. So i probably could have taken a bit less time.

Might feel different when #2 comes along! 🤣

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Hugasauras · 17/12/2022 19:53

I'm going back at nine months (DD2 is 6mo) and must say I am looking forward to it!

astronewt · 17/12/2022 19:53

Eight months both times, and happy with it.

HS1990 · 17/12/2022 19:53

I got itchy feet at 10 months old. Was nervous about the childcare but DD settled just fine and is thriving. Now have DS and not sure when to go back tbh.

Rainsdropskeepfalling · 17/12/2022 19:54

3 months both times. Different strokes for different folks

Twizbe · 17/12/2022 19:55

I took 14 months off with my first. I didn't go back after my second

I loved being off.

One thing to consider about returning early is the childcare and the costs of that. Some nurseries charge a bit less for a 1 year old than they do for an under 1.

QforCucumber · 17/12/2022 19:56

8/9 months both times (started back a day or 2 a week for a few weeks before back into full time both times)

no guilt, just shattered

Edwardwilliamnancy · 17/12/2022 20:17

6 months with first (that was all we were entitled to at the time) and now ex had left me so was a case of needs must.
Dt took 14 months off to reduce cost of childcare till dc1 was not needing so much.
I have to say I had awful guilt both times going back to work and in hindsight i dont think either situation did any harm to them.
Do what's best for all your family because that's what's best for your dc not what everyone else does. You have to do what's right for your dc with the circumstances that you have atthe time.

RunnerDuck2020 · 17/12/2022 20:22

14m - by that time I couldn’t wait to get back to work! 😂I loved the earlier stages of mat leave when it was all cuddles and milk and you could go to an hour long baby class and that would wear them out for the entire day -
but as he approached 1 he started to need more stimulation than I have the energy to provide!

cptartapp · 17/12/2022 20:23

DC1 four months
DC2 five months

They went to nursery pt as I was desperate for a break tbh, and I went back to work. 20 years on, no regrets.

Dahlia5 · 18/12/2022 08:59

8 months old . I was really happy to return to work

MolliciousIntent · 18/12/2022 09:08

We did shared leave - with DD1 I took 4 months, went back to work for 4 months and then took another 2 months. With DD2 I took 5 months.

MrsR87 · 18/12/2022 09:17

I did 10 months with my first. I absolutely hated it as I found I just couldn’t cope with the workload as before kids I’d happily just worked my extra 20 hours or so unpaid extra in the evenings or weekends without too much of a second thought. All of a sudden my priorities changed and I realised how unattainable it was to actually do my job to a decent standard without working all the god given hours, and believe me I tried.
I am now on maternity leave with my second. I am taking 11 months. I know I have to go back for a while so as not to pay back extra maternity payments. But I fully intend to quit after that period and honesty, knowing that I won’t have senior staff asking why I’m not working at 9pm when I’ve put the kids to bed or why I don’t just let my husband do all the fun stuff at weekends is doing the world of good for my stress levels and mental health. I think if I still loved my job I’d feel differently though as I love to be busy and immersed in work (but there is a limit)!

PinkPlantCase · 18/12/2022 09:22

6 months, though I had a phased start so the first month I was still at home a lot. By 7 months I was working full time.

We had DC in our mid 20s and it wasn’t the right time career wise to take a whole year out. My DH was also between jobs as his contract ended so I had to earn some money. We always new knew this and I had only ever planned to have the six months off.

looking back and having spent more time with more babies I can see that 6 months is still really very young. That said DS gets on wonderfully at nursery and is much more settled than a lot of the babies who started there aged 1.

I was still breastfeeding and pumped during the day at work until DS was about 1. I’m glad I did this but the logistics were a faff when I was working full time.

We’re thinking of TTC again, next time I think I’ll go back at around 7 months but work part time for the first 3 months or so of my return to work just to have a bit more time with baby and to spend less time pumping 😂 providing we can manage on a part time salary. Our DS is 18 months now still I don’t feel like I’m in the right place career wise to take a whole year.

PinkPlantCase · 18/12/2022 09:26

I should add that I think your workplace makes a very big difference. I actually changed jobs whilst I was on maternity leave to somewhere more family friendly. I categorically could not have done my previous job where excessive overtime was the norm and I regularly had to work late into the night. Where I work now is the same job title, more money, lots of flexibility around baby sick days and everyone leaves work on time.

Poppymil · 18/12/2022 09:33

My DD has just turned 10 months and returned around 4 weeks ago, with my company though you get a 12 week phased return so I've only just this week gone to 2 days a week and still only a few hours a time at that, tbh though I can't wait to get back properly (I'll be doing 3 full days a week). I started DD in nursery from a couple of weeks before I went back so she could get use to it as well and it's made a massive difference to her as well in a good way she loves nursery and as I'm on my own with her it's nice for us both to get a bit of a break from each other. I was the same as you in that I missed work.

RemindMeAgain · 18/12/2022 09:40

6 months with first, intended 6 months again but wasn’t able to go back cause of illness, so 11 months with second. For us it was a case of needs must and it all worked out okay.

Scottishskifun · 18/12/2022 09:44

11 months with both but did shared parental leave from 9.5 months and used holiday to have a chunk of time together.

With my first was ready about 7 months with my 2nd I would have happily had 14 months off but our salaries don't work out that way and it's too much of a stretch and I didn't want to deny my DH time with 2nd that he got with 1st as he loved it.

VivaVivaa · 18/12/2022 09:45

Went back at a year. Was ready to go back at 9 or 10 months though tbh. DS was a very tricky, none sleeping baby and my mental health was suffering. I’d love to have the time with him now as a toddler though!

WannabeMathematician · 18/12/2022 09:49

6 months. But then my husband did 3.5 months of shared leave. I had PPD and staying at home in the pandemic was not good for me. Having said that I don’t think I would change it if I was to have DS again in more normal times. Turns out I don’t think babies are that great. If I could have a year off now with my toddler that would be something different!

Figgypudding123 · 18/12/2022 10:02

11 months. Held out until the money ran out...

Original poster

frenchie4002 · 18/12/2022 10:23

Thanks all. Interesting to hear your experiences. Like @PinkPlantCase I’m mid 20s and financially with gas/electric/mortgage prices as they are a year is definitely off the table. Baby is only 2 months now so I know things will change as she grows but I miss the stimulation and social side of work. I’m thinking returning at around 6/7 months part time will be a good fit for us

OP posts:

NewtoHolland · 18/12/2022 10:27

Twice at a year and it was horrible, this time baby was seven months and it was so so much better!! Baby adapted much easier, much less heartache for us both although sleep still but challenging!

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