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Original poster

When will I have time for myself again?

51 replies

Helena1993 · 16/12/2022 20:08

If ever. Just a couple hours. Baby still wakes often at night so I can't do anything. I just go to bed once she sleeps so I at least won't be a zombie the next day.

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Dontpokedoggyseyessweetheart · 16/12/2022 20:11

When they start school, at least being a sahm with a toddler when they start dropping naps....its 7 til bedtime nonstop

Original poster
Helena1993 · 16/12/2022 20:18

And nursery?

OP posts:
CherrySocks · 16/12/2022 20:32

Playgroup

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Babies & sleep Children's sleep General parenting
Reugny · 16/12/2022 20:35

It's individual whether you will get a good sleeper or not, and at what age they will become one.

Even then they will randomly wake up in the night.

Dontpokedoggyseyessweetheart · 16/12/2022 20:35

Well if you can afford nursery you get time away from your little tornado but it depends on what you choose that time for, if you consider it time to yourself, I go to college once a week while hes there though then back to pick up.

MintJulia · 16/12/2022 20:38

2027 😀

DingDangMintyBells · 16/12/2022 20:38

It slowly gets easier until eventually they become really good company and enhance your life. It starts when they become reliable and you can plan what you will do when they nap and builds from there.

AnneLovesGilbert · 16/12/2022 20:41

Are you a single parent?

Schlaar · 16/12/2022 20:47

At age 3 you get 2hrs a day to yourself when the child goes to nursery. I used the time to catch up on sleep, because by that point I was a shell of a person due to the burden of childcare for the last 3 years. Then when they go to school at age 4.5 you get 6hrs a day to yourself! That’s when you really get to be a human being again.

BendingSpoons · 16/12/2022 20:50

It varies but for me from 1 (12m) they were sleeping through 8pm ish to 6/7ish, so I had an evening to myself and wasn't shattered.

Pea1985 · 16/12/2022 21:16

It might not seem like it now but you will get this back eventually. It might be a few years but it happens gradually. My kids are now both over 4 and life is sooo much easier and I feel like myself again.

Chimna · 16/12/2022 21:19

Do you have help from family? I don't so mine is when I book a day off when they are both in school and nursery. I can't advise on sleeping, my almost 6yo doesn't sleep through 😩

thisfuckinghurts · 16/12/2022 21:20

Oh man I remember this stage… when you will get time to yourself depends on so many things… whether you have a partner/family, whether they go to nursery, whether they sleep etc, whether you work.
ive got three kids and for me I found I started to have proper time for myself again once they were all in school. I do work but that’s when I found I started having a bit more breathing space and sleep. I now regularly exercise etc and can sit down for a cuppa while they play. It’s tough though with a baby, I remember it being all consuming for a while!

underneaththeash · 16/12/2022 21:22

These are ridiculous. How old is your baby. We made the mistake of pandering to our first, who then did sleep til 3,5 years. With 2&3 we ignored them after 4/6 months and they went back to sleep eventually (with no issues and have much better sleep patterns now).
put your baby to bed and have some time with your husband.

purpledalmation · 16/12/2022 21:29

When they leave home or thereabouts. I'm not planning an adult gap year anytime soon

Endlesslaundry123 · 16/12/2022 21:32

When your baby starts going to bed independently and sleeping through until past midnight. When that happened, I could go out in the evenings after baby went down. Once my husband could put her down to bed on his own, I had even more freedom to go out. He was doing football each week and I was doing choir. It was so nice! Now we have a second baby and it's back to being home all the time.....

Fusciainertia · 16/12/2022 21:33

Sleep train at 7 months so from then.

DingDangMintyBells · 16/12/2022 21:35

purpledalmation · 16/12/2022 21:29

When they leave home or thereabouts. I'm not planning an adult gap year anytime soon

What a helpful post 😳

roarfeckingroarr · 16/12/2022 21:43

Mine has slept 7.30-7.30 since around 14 months. It's going to be very strange losing evenings again when DC2 arrives next month.

JenniferBarkley · 16/12/2022 21:47

It does get slowly better, but it is hard. If you go back to work you get a break from DC but you have to fit work in too (I'm procrastinating from work I need to do as I have to leave work at 4 to do pickup).

wibblewobbleball · 16/12/2022 21:47

underneaththeash · 16/12/2022 21:22

These are ridiculous. How old is your baby. We made the mistake of pandering to our first, who then did sleep til 3,5 years. With 2&3 we ignored them after 4/6 months and they went back to sleep eventually (with no issues and have much better sleep patterns now).
put your baby to bed and have some time with your husband.

You ignored your 4 month old when they woke and presumably cried? This is nothing to be proud of. Your poor baby.

underneaththeash · 16/12/2022 21:52

wibblewobbleball · 16/12/2022 21:47

You ignored your 4 month old when they woke and presumably cried? This is nothing to be proud of. Your poor baby.

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The baby is now 14 and fine. Your job as a parent is to do the best fir your child and your family and the current trend to not teach them to get to sleep themselves is extremely damaging to both.

we didn’t do it with DS1 and he has sleep issues.

I assume you are a young parent, but sometimes you need to make difficult decisions to benefit your child in the long run.

MsChatterbox · 16/12/2022 22:06

With mine I've found once they turn two I start to feel like I can get a little bit more independence back. As in able to go to the hair salon, able to go out for a meal in the evening that kind of thing.

Original poster
Helena1993 · 17/12/2022 13:37

Thanks guys but the truth is hard. Everyone seems to agree that we lose all our freedom once we become parents.

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HaggisWurst · 17/12/2022 13:41

Do you have a partner, op? When my son started eating and not needing to be around me for milk all the time, my DH would take him out to the park for a couple hours so I could have some downtime. I would say it properly started when DS was around 11 months old as his breastfeeding decreased dramatically then and I didn't feel bad anymore if he went a few hours without!