Stopping breastfeeding

[Tnib]

Hello,

I have a 7 week old baby and she’s brilliant.

The first few weeks have been a rollercoaster but really happy and enjoying everything. I got mastitis and baby and I were treated for oral thrush. The mastitis set me back a bit in terms of breastfeeding but feeling like I want to stop breastfeeding as it’s not come naturally to me though I enjoy the bonding. When it doesn’t go well it takes a toll on me emotionally and mentally and my supply has gotten lower due to the infections and possibly other things but feel bad for giving up. I am actually combi feeding anyway, formula for the last feed before midnight or if baby won’t accept the breast at all or if my fiancé is feeding he sometimes gives her formula or some of my expressed milk.

My Mum only breastfed me for 6 weeks and I’m okay, never had health problems…but I read an article on the benefits of breastfeeding and feel like I’m taking the easy way out. I’m planning to slowly stop so will keep going for probably a couple of weeks.

Is it wrong to also want to not have achy, leaking breasts. I also feel like I can’t feed my baby properly as in, to give her enough milk, though not certain if true as she’s fast asleep now and only had my milk. I’ve spent a lot of money on a breast pump and lactation consultant so feel a bit like I’ve wasted money and feel somewhat guilty about that too.

I felt rotten physically and mentally when I had the mastitis, and don’t want to experience that again physically or emotionally.

Do you think it’s okay to stop breastfeeding?

I’d really welcome your opinions. Thank you.

Fed is best. Do what is best for you and your baby will be happy and healthy either way. What I will say is breastfeeding honestly does get easier and usually by the 3 month mark the aching breast etc is all gone and it can become very easy to breastfeed

Just switch to formula OP. The benefits of breastfeeding are so small they only show up at population level in studies. The emphasis on breastfeeding at all costs is ridiculous in its failure to consider the mother's needs and wellbeing as well.

P.s. I didn't mean to suggest you SHOULD switch to formula. There's no 'should' either way, only what works best for you. I did breastfeed actually, because I was lucky and it was quite easy. But if it wasn't, I doubt I'd have persevered very long! Life with a baby is tough enough as it is.

Thank you. I didn’t know about the 3 month mark. That’s good to know.

Thanks for your input and support.

I'm not going to tell you what to do or give you any simplistic platitudes. It is your decision and your body. If you don't like the effects on your body of breastfeeding and that outweighs any other considerations then you can make a choice to switch to formula.

It's worth knowing that breastfeeding gets easier and easier (usually) from this point on. Formula is obviously the same amount of prep all the time, but has the fact that someone else can do it instead of you, and doesn't come with any additional physical changes to you.

Only you can weigh up the personal pros and cons for you, and make your choice. Don't give yourself any kind of a hard time or self judgement though if you have made your decision based on what's best for you.

Do what is right for you. There is no difference whatsoever in the long run

Thank you. I also heard that about the benefits but the other stuff too, which makes it difficult to knot what’s true and also what I should do but glad to have your opinion as I did feel bad so good to know I shouldn’t.

I think it should be more acceptable for mums to admit they don’t like breastfeeding or it’s not working for them. I tried it, stuck it out for 4 months as combi feeding and I hated it 95% of the time. On reflection now, if I had another baby id try again BUT I’d be much easier on myself if It didn’t go well and give myself permission to stop earlier.
the early months are hard enough so if you want to switch to formula don’t waste time beating yourself up about it!

I personally would do what is best for you - no guilt either way! A happy mum is what is best for a baby. Whilst there are many benefits to breastfeeding it doesn't mean that formula feeding is not good enough.

Absolutely you can stop if you want to. Babe will come to no harm.

I think the advantages of breastfeeding are just that. It’s a plus. Not a negative to not IYSWIM.

I am 6 months now. I can’t remember when the leaking stopped as ages ago. But they don’t leak and they are not engorged at all now. I can even go a whole day without bf without mastitis or leaks, or anything.

I am planning now to move to combi as want to keep the breastfeeding for morning and night feed.

I have noticed that the formula babies in our group are getting ill all the time now. That’s not a negative as they have to build their own immune systems at some point. But I am glad personally that I don’t have to deal with that until he can atleast express himself a bit better and point to said illness, area of pain.

We were also around someone recently who thought they had an ear infection. Turns out it was shingles. I think babe did get the virus as was a bit off for a few days but I do think my bf antibodies helped him through it without severe illness or chickenpox.

Do what is right for you and don’t look back. All your baby needs is a happy Mum. The scientific evidence for the benefits of breastfeeding are often overstated, especially in developed countries with clean water and access to sterilising equipment.

I also spent money on a breast pump and lactation consultants but in the end it just wasn’t working for me. I felt I was getting all the disadvantages (sore boobs, time consuming pumping etc) without any of the advantages as still had to top up with formula after every feed. I stopped fully at 10 weeks but in hindsight could have happily stopped much sooner. I did enjoy the bonding but there are plenty of other ways to bond with your baby and it was a huge relief to be done with pumping.

Absolutely do what is best for you without guilt. You being physically and mentally well is ultimately the best thing for baby.

I would say that this is probably a tipping point stage though, and if you persevere now, it’s likely to be about to get a whole lot easier. I have a 10 month old DS and I was fortunate not to get mastitis or have supply issues, but he did struggle with the latch on the left side at first and I remember weeks of wincing and trying to breath through the pain when we I fed him on that side. (Side note - pumping on that side occasionally, plus Jelonet patches really helped.)

That pain disappeared after a few weeks and there was quickly absolutely no discomfort around breastfeeding. The achy, leaky engorgement calms down too.

I’m so glad I breast fed. Not just for the health benefits for baby, although that’s obviously good, but it’s just so much easier than bottles in lots of ways. I never have to worry about packing milk for journeys and sterilising bottles, and when nothing else will calm a hysterical / overtired / poorly DS, the boob always will. I don’t have as much freedom of course, but that’s ok and will come back in time. We’re at only three feeds a day now and if I could be bothered to pump more, my DH could probably replace some of those with a cup feed.

I would also say that at 7 weeks in, even having a 12 or 16 week old baby seemed like it would be a lifetime away, but I promise it goes by in a flash.

So my advice would be to try hanging in in there for now if you can, because of those benefits for both you and baby, but obviously know that you can stop anytime and that you should feel absolutely no guilt about whatever you decide and when you decide to do it. Your body, your baby, your life, your family.

Congrats on your little one and enjoy her as much as you can while she’s a little newborn - they grow up so quickly!

If you want to stop, stop. There are pros and cons for breastfeeding and formula feeding and ultimately it’s what’s best for you and your baby.

I breastfed all three of mine until they all turned one. On one hand, DS1 has multiple allergies, asthma, eczema etc so arguably it didn’t ‘help’ him. But then DD1 has Covid when she was around 10 weeks old and I credit breastfeeding with ensuring that she made a very quick recovery. In reality, who knows!

On the days when I felt like stopping, I always told myself ‘don’t make a decision now, make a decision tomorrow’ and when tomorrow came around, I always kept going.

Just a note on the previous post - breastfed babies can get sick too. The antibodies in breastmilk may provide some benefits and reduce the severity of an illness but the PP has mostly been lucky. In my anti-natal group almost all the babies are exclusively breastfed and most have already had a bad cold or two since there are so many bugs around at the moment.

Thanks Roses. Again good get the input that it’ll get easier from now. I will weigh up the pros and cons, good advice.

You have my sympathies, op. I have a 6 week old dd and have also had mastitis plus a nasty vaginal infection and at one point last week couldn’t bf at all for 2 days as my milk had dried up due to dehydration/stress. The 2 days bottle feeding made me realise how much faff it was and how I wanted to keep bf! Fed is best but there are hardships either way. You are doing really well and will still be doing so, whatever you decide x

You’re right more people should be able to be open if not enjoying or liking breastfeeding.

Thank you. X

I’m totally with re:pumping, it’s miserable. In fact I think my supply went down a bit as I stopped most of the time consuming additional pumping but don’t feel bad about stopping that.

Really comforting to hear your experience, it sounds very similar to mine.

Thank you. These are the things no one tells you about motherhood. X

Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s good to hear. I’ve sorta felt the same on days I’ve felt like giving up but haven’t so far.

No, it has been a huge shock to the system and I’m with you also on pumping. I spent loads on an elvie pump which doesn’t even seem to work for me anyway! Might try and sell it on fb marketplace. It’s all trial and error. Hope you feel better soon x

feel like I’m taking the easy way out.

Well yes, but what's wrong with that! You've said you felt physically and mentally rotten, and that it takes an emotional and mental toll on you - who could blame you for wanting to make it easier on yourself by switching to something that will do your baby no harm whatsoever.
I find breastfeeding easier than formula feeding, so that's what I've done. I'm going back to work in Jan and switching to combi feeding because I don't like expressing. I've made my feeding decisions based on what was the easiest option for me - and it shouldn't be more acceptable for me to say that about breastfeeding than it is for someone else to say it about formula feeding.

Obviously if you want to breastfeed, you can keep going and it probably will get easier (but not guaranteed). But this is not a part of parenting where choosing the easier option at any point should in any way be a negative, so don't base your decision on that.

Mastitis is so miserable, sorry you had to go through that. I found taking sunflower lecithin really helpful for preventing bouts of mastitis, and unlike a previous poster, my Elvie breast pump (I got a second hand one and sold afterwards too) was a lifesaver. It really helped if I had a blockage as I could see the blockage (yuk, sorry tmi) coming through so knee it was clearing.

I ended up combi feeding with both of mine, as both my babies lost weight if I didn’t top up, but second time around I worried much less about the odd bottle, and it was really handy sometimes when someone else could feed.

I’d encourage you if you’re unsure about stopping to maybe consider keeping the night feeds, I loved not having to get up in the middle of the night and your body will adjust to that schedule even if you drop the day feeds. But just do what’s right for you. I was ready to stop after 6 months and was happy when the time came to be honest.

Its ok to stop if that's what you want to do. Formula milk is a perfectly acceptable way to feed your baby. I would weigh up all the pros and cons to help you decide. There are benefits to breastfeeding to health for both you and your baby - reducing risk of lots of things for you both. But if emotionally and physically you would feel better then absolutely take that into consideration.

But maybe as a bit of reassurance it does usually get easier from here on it. Baby will go longer stretches between feeds, your boobs will stabilise so feel less full and stop leaking. Also, if you don't enjoy pumping then don't pump. You can feed exclusively without pumping, and just use formula if you need to ever top up.

Oh yes absolutely. My boy had a bout of colds very early on but thankfully none since about 3 months. Even now they are becoming more common.

And I do think he is getting these things - just not being affected much.

The illnesses going around the ff babes are quite varied - not just colds but slapped cheek, hand foot and mouth etc.

Our babe has played and been in close contact but not got them when others all have so I can only assume it’s the bf protecting him.

I shouldn’t count my ducks anyway because they will all have immunity and sail through nursery and I am going to be constantly off work probably 🤣

So it doesn’t really matter it - swings in roundabouts. I just cba with illness atm. Teething is all too much and tearing my hair out with that is enough!