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Original poster

Stopping breastfeeding

35 replies

Tnib · 03/12/2022 16:23

Hello,

I have a 7 week old baby and she’s brilliant.

The first few weeks have been a rollercoaster but really happy and enjoying everything. I got mastitis and baby and I were treated for oral thrush. The mastitis set me back a bit in terms of breastfeeding but feeling like I want to stop breastfeeding as it’s not come naturally to me though I enjoy the bonding. When it doesn’t go well it takes a toll on me emotionally and mentally and my supply has gotten lower due to the infections and possibly other things but feel bad for giving up. I am actually combi feeding anyway, formula for the last feed before midnight or if baby won’t accept the breast at all or if my fiancé is feeding he sometimes gives her formula or some of my expressed milk.

My Mum only breastfed me for 6 weeks and I’m okay, never had health problems…but I read an article on the benefits of breastfeeding and feel like I’m taking the easy way out. I’m planning to slowly stop so will keep going for probably a couple of weeks.

Is it wrong to also want to not have achy, leaking breasts. I also feel like I can’t feed my baby properly as in, to give her enough milk, though not certain if true as she’s fast asleep now and only had my milk. I’ve spent a lot of money on a breast pump and lactation consultant so feel a bit like I’ve wasted money and feel somewhat guilty about that too.

I felt rotten physically and mentally when I had the mastitis, and don’t want to experience that again physically or emotionally.

Do you think it’s okay to stop breastfeeding?

I’d really welcome your opinions. Thank you.

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Original poster
Tnib · 03/12/2022 18:14

I have the same pump, good marketing!

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Original poster
Tnib · 03/12/2022 18:19

You’ve got to the heart if it..You’re right the easy option isn’t the wrong option.

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Original poster
Tnib · 03/12/2022 18:27

Thanks for the advice.

The elvie is good but, I’m just not keen on pumping. It seems to be the most popular pump.

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Original poster
Tnib · 03/12/2022 18:29

Thanks for your supportive advice.

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Blessedbethefruitz · 03/12/2022 18:30

I wasn't a natural breastfeeder either. My first wouldn't latch, I pumped for a few weeks and gave up. He had horrific allergies and reflux and tongue and lip tie. I got mastitis which was truly horrific combined with his cesarean.

My second breastfed instantly after being resuscitated (shoulder dystocia)! The first 3 or so months I found tricky - getting used to positions, learning to feed side lying, dealing with the pain and cracked nipples the first few weeks. Then the pumping for work. After that it became much easier and more convenient than formula! I love the special bonding time, because it's just her and me (and sometimes my son pretending lol). But, I am no less bonded to my little boy, he is my heart.

Do what works for you. The physical benefits of breastmilk are minimal I believe. Regarding sickness - baby girl caught chicken pox from her brother at 4 weeks old and was fine. She's at nursery and still gets all the colds etc, just like he did.

Original poster
Tnib · 03/12/2022 18:32

Thanks everyone for your advice. It’s really helpful. It makes me feel better to know that I’m not alone. You’ve been like those friends who can give that logical outside perspective.

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lorisparkle · 03/12/2022 18:52

I do think that the key thing about parenting is that there is no 'perfect answer'. Every baby is different, every mother is different and every family is different. What works for one does not necessarily work for another (a lesson I learned after having ds2).

That is the best thing about mumsnet as you get a range of experiences and a range of advice.

If you want to persevere then do that as it is likely to get easier but try to enjoy your tiny baby. It took me until ds3 to learn that lesson!

Original poster
Tnib · 04/12/2022 13:21

Thanks so much. I am enjoying DD but there were times when I wasn’t so great advice.

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Measuredresponse1999 · 11/12/2022 12:56

I feel you, I mix feed at 11 weeks and that gives me the reassurance that my baby is getting enough milk. I know it’s all supply and demand but I was breastfeeding endlessly and despite that, when I did before and after weighing at home over several feeding sessions it turned out she was getting exactly the same amount of milk as I would get while pumping (maybe 10-15ml more on occasion) so she was getting about 50ml when she was supposed to be getting 100-150ml per feed. I was pretty upset when I found out because I had been reassured time and again that “the baby is far more efficient at extracting milk compared to a pump”. That wasn’t true in my case, pump and baby were exactly the same.
The benefits of breastfeeding for baby are marginal at best as can be seen in studies where they look at the differences in outcomes between siblings who were and where not breastfed (basically found no difference at all).

It’s worth remembering too that you can give yourself even more of a break by using premixed formula which also doesn’t require heating. I’ll probably continue with mixed myself but mainly for the comfort and bonding, if he or I were in physical pain at all I would stop. You can also bond giving the bottle, and it’s less stressful when they are not poorly fed.

That said, I’m new to this so it may get much easier and better down the line and I’ll change my opinion- but if you don’t want to do it, remember there is little good evidence that it will make a difference in the long run.

Original poster
Tnib · 11/12/2022 16:35

Measuredresponse1999 · 11/12/2022 12:56

I feel you, I mix feed at 11 weeks and that gives me the reassurance that my baby is getting enough milk. I know it’s all supply and demand but I was breastfeeding endlessly and despite that, when I did before and after weighing at home over several feeding sessions it turned out she was getting exactly the same amount of milk as I would get while pumping (maybe 10-15ml more on occasion) so she was getting about 50ml when she was supposed to be getting 100-150ml per feed. I was pretty upset when I found out because I had been reassured time and again that “the baby is far more efficient at extracting milk compared to a pump”. That wasn’t true in my case, pump and baby were exactly the same.
The benefits of breastfeeding for baby are marginal at best as can be seen in studies where they look at the differences in outcomes between siblings who were and where not breastfed (basically found no difference at all).

It’s worth remembering too that you can give yourself even more of a break by using premixed formula which also doesn’t require heating. I’ll probably continue with mixed myself but mainly for the comfort and bonding, if he or I were in physical pain at all I would stop. You can also bond giving the bottle, and it’s less stressful when they are not poorly fed.

That said, I’m new to this so it may get much easier and better down the line and I’ll change my opinion- but if you don’t want to do it, remember there is little good evidence that it will make a difference in the long run.

Yes it’s difficult when they tell you baby is getting enough of what they need. How did you find out baby was getting 50mls? Was it weighing after the feeds?

There always seems to be something new that happens at a feed and at the moment it seems like she’ll feed for so long and then won’t feed til full though still hungry and might (not always) take a bottle though is fussy with that too, so I think I have to not fight with her and just try her with a bottle to see if she still wants it.

Yes you’re right what you say about the studies. So few people in the population are fully breastfed if at all so it must be fine from a health perspective. I know it is but that just pushes that fact home for me.

I have lost quite a bit of weight and was feeling hungry a lot, like I couldn’t satisfy my appetite but feeling better today so hope I’ve turned a corner in all respects, but carrying on for now (combination feeding) as I like being able to give her what I can and if I can’t or it becomes too difficult at feeds I’ll top her up with a bottle and will feel fine to move to formula only now as I’ve just felt too knackered lately to continue driving myself mad.

Hope things on your breastfeeding journey continue well. It’s tough but we’re doing the best we can, we just have to keep telling ourselves that. Best of luck. Xx

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