Doing a c&*# job and 4 month regression

[KoalaPineapple]

I feel like a crap mum. I can’t rock my baby to sleep because she’s so heavy that it hurts my arms so much I’m worried il drop her. Can’t stop crying when she’s inconsolable. She’s only just a week over 3 months and I’m terrified TERRIFIED of the ‘4 month sleep regression’ that’s coming up. How was it for you? Genuinely?

We have no set routine and she won’t nap well in the day (max 20mins). I love her so so much but I’m struggling.

Do you have a birth ball/gym ball? Babies absolutely love being bounced to sleep on them and you can keep it up for wayyyyyy longer than rocking.

Hang in there.

1. Carrier/sling to rock/bounce
2. Put in pram to rock
3. Walk in pram (yourself or DP)
4. Try a dummy
5. Anything and everything to get thru the phase!

My first didn't have a 4 month regression. My second didn't sleep more than 2 hours until 20 months. They're all different. Try to worry about things as they happen. Otherwise you'll never enjoy anything x

Honestly, it doesn’t exist. I’m convinced it’s a marketing ploy by huckleberry and other sleep apps/consultants etc.

The first 6 months are hard, parenting is hard, but I don’t think “regressions” are a helpful way to think about it. Yes, babies change constantly, as soon as you think you’ve cracked something, it changes. But you’re on the journey and learning together.

Keep muddling along, it will get easier.

I never stood up to rock my DS to sleep because it took about half an hour and he was too heavy. I used to sit on the sofa and hold him and kind of jiggled him around a bit. Or had his head on my shoulder and I would move backwards and forwards.

Not too late to start from scratch.
6.30pm bath
7pm close curtains, dim lights, last milk feed then in a swaddle sack appropriate for age.
Bounce rhythmically on birthing/yoga ball, sing same lullabies every night, 2 max.
Wait for the first 20 mins for baby to get into deep sleep then transfer to cot.
Feed through night on demand as normal.
Only draw curtains put main lights on posts 6am if baby wakes for day earlier than that.
Stick to wake windows (babysleepsite.com).
Then naps by putting in swaddle sack, birthing ball bounce and in cot, but I could never transfer to cot in the daytimes so didn't use swaddle sack, just contact napped them on my lap/arms until around 7 months when I'd cracked it to transitioning to cot.

You’re not a crap Mum, parenting is just hard. Experiment with some other ways of getting her down - in addition to the ones suggested above rocking in her bouncer worked for us for awhile. Just cuddling her with the dummy often works as well or rocking gently while sitting down (not as hard on my back). If she’s inconsolable try settling her in a dark room with loud white noise or rain sounds. Some warm milk often helped too.

Short naps seem pretty normal at 3-4 months. My DD is 5 months now and still mostly contact naps and usually only one sleep cycle (30-40 min).

Easier said than done but try not to worry about sleep regressions. We haven’t really experienced anything like that yet at 5 months, just the short naps during the day and maybe an extra wake up at night (probably due to trying to transition out of Love to Dream swaddles rather than the so called 4 month sleep regression). If anything a 2 week period of inconsolable crying at night around 3 months was the worst so far but luckily it passed.

@KoalaPineapple just linking this thread full of people saying the 4 month sleep regression doesn’t exist, hope it provides some reassurance.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/4689672-anybody-not-experience-4m-sleep-regression