Just read please!

[StressedMum1212]

2 years ago my DS had his year 11 prom. Many accusations went around of him allegedly inappropriately touching many girls.

DS claims he was drunk and doesn't remember any but also states he apologised.

Yesterday, I got a call from the sixth form attachment of the school which he attends. In the phone call they have said they have banned him from his year 13 ball.
Do I call back and tell them it's unreasonable? Or do i just appreciate their decision?
It's difficult as I know my DS isn't really like this.
What do I do! Help please!

School has a duty to safeguard their students. Seems like a reasonable step for them to take imo

No, you make sure your DS is absolutely clear that this is his responsibility to not assault females. And if he can't control himself drunk then he shouldn't drink. No excuses.

This message really needs to get through if we are to reduce VAWG

If he was so drunk, under age, that he can’t remember what happened, then he shouldn’t be going whether or not he sexually assaulted people.

YABVU.

It's difficult as I know my DS isn't really like this.

His behaviour says otherwise.

Sexual predators don't get invited to parties. Thank god.

Not much you can do surely? Their ball, their rules.

Clearly your DS is like that when he’s ubeer the influence otherwise there wouldn’t have been multiple accusations?

I think the bets you can do is to support him through his feelings about it and hope that feeling the pain of it will help him learn from his mistakes and be a catalyst for change.

Why would he apologise if he didn't do anything wrong?

When are you going to stop making excuses for him? When he rapes someone?

Good on the school.

First of all, feel grateful that police aren't involved.

Why is it unreasonable?

Imagine if you were a parent of one of the girls who was touched inappropriately.. you'd be livid that he would be allowed to go again

And the whole "I was drunk, I can't remember" is bs. He does remember but doesn't want to admit that he did it.

Sounds like he's quite lucky if this is his only consequence.

Well done the school, completely the right decision.

I fully agree with this

If this is real then of course he shouldn't go. The safety of the people attending is paramount.

If he isn't really like that why did he do it?

Being drunk is never, ever an excuse. What if he rapes someone next time he's drunk? Is that ok.

The school should have called the police.

Don't you care that it's important for the girls there to feel safe and not be assaulted? You should be supporting the decision as your son is clearly like this after a drink.

The formal is the least of your worries.

I agree with all of the above comments. The school has a duty to safeguard. Also from someone with direct knowledge/experience of behaviours like this - you need to address this with him immediately as it will nearly always escalate to more harmful behaviours in the future

Safeguarding, the same girls will be attending and may well have said they'd feel uncomfortable with him attending.

Good on the school. This gives you a great opportunity to have a chat with your sim about the consequences of his actions, but more importantly about how the young women felt on that night and how they may be feeling as this event approaches.

Yes this.
You just have to accept it

was he not told back then that he would not be permitted to attend Year 13 function?

As hard as it is for you and your ds, he poses a risk, apology or not. This is a consequence he needs to realise exists in the real work. Drunk or not.

I wouldn't want my daughter attending an event where a person who'd previously been accused multiple times of assaulting women (and who hadn't denied it) was welcomed.

What consequences did your DS receive at the time?

Is he ashamed of what he did?

My 3 daughters and are I VERY thankful that he's been banned.

Hopefully other institutions will follow suit with sexual predators, alcohol induced or not.

But he is like this. He got drunk (which lowered his inhibitions) and assaulted women.

Explain to him that as a consequence of his unacceptably inappropriate behaviour at the yr11 prom he is banned from the year 13 ball. There’s no sugar coating this.

Did the school not speak to you after the prom about the ‘accusations’?

Omg op why would you want him to go??? If he was that drunk there is no way he should be going. This lesson needs to hit HARD.

And as a woman you should be taking this VERY seriously.