Anyone sometimes regret having a second child?

[pevie]

I know this sounds a bit controversial and I dont wish DD2 away now shes here!!! But it has been the toughest 9 mths of my life. We get very little sleep, she cries quite a lot of the time, rarely sleeps in the day and has had all sorts of health concerns which has taken us back and forth to hospital. Although DD1 had her ups and downs and i probably did enjoy motherhood much more after the first year, it wasnt anyway near as horrendous as this. I feel really sad about it all but feel my life has been stolen from me, DH and DD1 as we are so stressed, worried and sleep deprived all the time. I was undecided about having a second child as I had found the baby stage hard work but had reckoned that I would be less anxious this time (TBF if she had been like DD1 as a baby I probably would have been) and I also liked the idea of another little person growing up and giving us the joy DD1 has. But in the midst of all this anguish i wonder if we have done the right thing at times? I'm not sure how much more we can take!!! Sorry for moan, its all i seem to do these days.

I have tried cranial osteopathy and god I wish it had worked. When you say it cant do any harm, inour case it did as she got incredibly unsettled for days afterwards. I know this can sometimes happen but tried it on several occasions and it didnt help, we were scared to continue in the hope that it might.

Dances, I think life is definately more compliecated with two and part of problem for me is that so many of my friends have just one and I do envy them sometimes.

Please let it only be the first year that is hellish I cant cope with idea that it could be two years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Surely she will stop being sore before then.

Pevie I really resented dd3 as she was the screamer/misery (silent reflux one) I went back to work to get away from her.

I actually had another mainly to erase the awfulness of that time which has worked, it certainly but the birth into perspective I didn't care I was too petrified of having another screamer.

God cargirl, your brave!!!!!! What was your story and how did it resolve itself in the end?

Saw friend with one today and she is full of stories about evenings out!!!!!! DH and I have not been out together in 9 months!!! Last night DD2 was up every hour from about1 in morming. Felt so low today but did perk up as day went on. Heres hoping for better night tonight.

Am so grateful for support here cos dont know many friends who have had this experience.

you know that is what I remember that we didn't go out, I don't think we dared ask anyone to babysit because she would wake up at least once in the evening. It was truly hellish. In fact when dd4 came along (2 years later) it was still dd3 who would give us broken nights - everyone assumed it was the baby but no she slept through for a week or so old!

pevie, is there anyone kind and understanding who could babysit to give you and dh a night out? even if it's just the local pub/pizza place (which is about as far as we ever get)

Our dd2 was like yours and I ended up with severe pnd. The pills were a god-send, and no probs weaning myself off after 6 months or so.

Can I just say thank you ladies for bringing your feelings out into the open so honestly and sincerely. It is a breath of fresh air to read real, honest experiences from real people. I think lots of things get covered up about motherhood and lots of women are in denial and pretend all the time and I don't think it is right. Everyone should know how serious the whole business of having a baby is and it is a huge huge decision.
I had the worst year of my life with my son for the first year, then it got better after he turned 1. I want to forget that year completely. I always said that I will never have another one, as I found it tremendously hard and that is with an easy baby and myself being very strong. It was truly the hardest thing ever.
I am now having strange thoughts about having another one. The reason being is that I would like my son to have a brother or a sister, so purely selfless reason, but I am SO scared and don't know how I am going to cope. After reading this thread I am not so sure again and perhaps, I should live with the decision I made originally not to have any more. We all got to know our limits I think, but do feel sad about it because I do like the idea of a big family, it is just that reality of actually having it is frightening.
Thank you again. Very good messages on here with useful information and sincere messages.

Pevie, if you are still out there, i wonder how you feel now, after 9 years?
Tnx

I know this is an old post but just wondering how you coped these past 12 years? Im on baby number 2, almost 11 months in and wishing I could fast forward the next 10 years

Can I ask how this developed?
My DD is 12 weeks now and the feeling of regret is overwhelming

I have often regretted having any, TBH. Now that DC are 5 and 3 i feel like we've turned a corner and I'm enjoying it more. Maybe I'm just not cut out for the baby stage, I'm very anxious and breastfeeding, nap schedules, weaning etc really got to me.