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Original poster

Family court

27 replies

Kkcc2 · 18/11/2022 09:25

So me and my daughters father had court last month where they put an order in place. This was typed up during the sitting but is yet to be sent out, they’re very behind. He’s now messaged saying he wants to see if he can get the order changed. Does anyone know if he can just get the case reopened or if he would need to reapply and go through mediation etc first again. He got 50/50 and a lot of other things he wanted but he’s never happy and just causing unnecessary drama.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 18/11/2022 09:31

What does he want now?

Original poster
Kkcc2 · 18/11/2022 10:07

To change the court agreement as I’m incapable of creating a supportive environment for my child. This is based on me allowing our child to wear nail polish on her toes when his girlfriend tells her she isn’t allowed it.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 18/11/2022 10:24

Let him waste his money

No you won't go back to mediation

Allowing your chail nail polish is not being unsupportive

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Theunamedcat · 18/11/2022 10:25

How old is she?

Santagiveyoursackawash · 18/11/2022 10:27

Dd's age is irrelevant.. My toddler girls loved painted toes.. Smile and ignore his requests op.

BankseyVest · 18/11/2022 10:28

I'd stop talking to him about it, tell him it's Ben agreed and if he wants to change it then he crack on and do it via his solicitor

TheFormidableMrsC · 18/11/2022 10:29

He will have to apply for a variation but I don't imagine the court would agree to that so soon. Also, his girlfriend's opinion is not relevant. She's just a girlfriend. Let him crack on. Dickhead.

CoffeeHousePot · 18/11/2022 10:33

So a judge would need to amend any order (irrespective of if drawn or not).

If it was something tiny like it had been ordered handover would be 4 pm on a Friday and you both agreed it should be 3.30 pm you might be able to ask the judge in writing to do this, and they would ask court staff to amend.

A fundamental change of the order - doesn't matter it hasn't been drawn by the court office, judge made the order in court. Your DH will need to make an application.

If you partner keeps making applications you may want to consider asking the court to make a s 91(14) barring order. This prevents someone dragging the matter back to court.

Original poster
Kkcc2 · 18/11/2022 10:52

Sorry for the essay, just panicking now.
I should add he sent me a huge message with loads of apparent issues. All of which are my daughter said this, my daughter said that and then going on to say this is hugely damaging to her and confusing. Worried about her mental health etc. He’s throwing accusations such as our child not washing at my house because she smelt after school one day, me not doing her homework which isn’t true at all etc all pathetic things that are just completely exaggerated. I don’t think he’ll stop until he gets her taken off of me completely. At the beginning of the court case he said I was mentally and emotionally abusing her, to which cafcass looked into and found absolutely nothing. I can assure you she is the most incredible child that is encouraged to speak freely about everything when with me, which she does. The only issues she has is with her dad and she openly admitted to me she is scared of him and feels like she has to say what he wants to hear incase she gets told off. . I feel he will go down every route he can until he gets what he wants.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kkcc2 · 18/11/2022 10:52

She’s 6

OP posts:
tothelefttotheleft · 18/11/2022 11:10

It he won't get what he wants.

My ex was like yours. Behaved like yours. Didn't get him anywhere. It's just awful to live through.

tothelefttotheleft · 18/11/2022 11:10

Sorry for the typo.

It should read

But he won't get why he wants.

BankseyVest · 18/11/2022 11:28

He's bullying you and trying to emotionally abuse you through her. Do not respond!

Block him on all mediums and give him an email he can contact you, to discuss your dc only. Open this email address once a week only. Keep his number unblocked during his contact time only. Tell him this and you won't be responding to any of his emails or texts unless they are a direct, and relevant question about your dc. If he wants to communicate further he goes through solicitors

Keep all his correspondence filed so you have this abuse document if needed

Don't worry op, he's being ab abusive arsehole. You've already said cafcass has investigated and found no issues, that will be on record. Judges aren't stupid and see this kind of bullying and abusive behaviour all the time. Try to say calm and not panic. Do not respond to his message, or any message unless it's a direct and relevant question. You don't have to respond to his ranting and bullshit

Original poster
Kkcc2 · 18/11/2022 20:24

Thanks everyone. I don’t think he’ll ever stop but I’ll look into getting a barring order put on the court order

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 18/11/2022 22:20

My son is mentally abused by his father fortunately he doesn't want to take him off me (yet) prefers to torture me by twisting him up so he explodes he agrees with everything his dad says too when he is there the good thing is he regularly says no to seeing him recognises his dad is unhealthy for him and still hasn't given him his number so he still has to come through me if he wants anything its layers of protection

Does your school do a counselling service or mentoring programme? Ds found that useful when he was younger having someone to talk to that wasn't a parent or a teacher

RedWingBoots · 18/11/2022 22:26

Ignore him.

Do not respond.

Only communicate with him about contact, and if the issues involve your child's education and your child's real health concerns. And stick to the point.

If he escalates his shit e.g. the number of messages see if you can get a non-molestation order/undertaking

Original poster
Kkcc2 · 19/11/2022 20:35

He’s enrolled her in a time to talk session at school because he feels she is very confused and needs to talk to someone. She was in it last year and her teacher said she had no idea why because there was no outcome from it. Just had her parents evening and they’ve said nothing but good things and how she’s the perfect child. I guess if he wants to put her in it they can’t really refuse but he’s only doing it to make me look bad

OP posts:
Endofmyteatherr · 19/11/2022 20:47

Your ex would have to go back to mediation if the c100 form has expired.

Start commicating through email so you have evidence, don't engage with him about unnecessary things OP.

RedWingBoots · 19/11/2022 22:12

I guess if he wants to put her in it they can’t really refuse but he’s only doing it to make me look bad

But you don't look bad so it is having absolutely no affect.

Believe me teachers know which parents or parent is causing problems for their child.

ToriGlas · 29/12/2022 21:17

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Enna0105 · 19/03/2023 19:57

My ex husband wants to separate my twin boys who are 13 and live with me and wants one of them living with him. We are at family court soon Will the court allow this to happen?

PeekAtYou · 19/03/2023 20:02

Are you in England? Your sons would be allowed to choose where they'd like to live. Siblings not living together is very unusual but at their age they would be allowed to do so.

Enna0105 · 19/03/2023 20:22

one of the twins doesn’t see his father,
would the courts allow one of the twins to moved and be separated from the other?

LittleOwl153 · 19/03/2023 20:29

@Enna0105 what do the boys want? Thats important at their age.

PeekAtYou · 19/03/2023 20:56

Enna0105 · 19/03/2023 20:22

one of the twins doesn’t see his father,
would the courts allow one of the twins to moved and be separated from the other?

It will be up to both boys how much they see each parent. They will be treated as individuals and if they want the opposite thing to
each other then that will be allowed.