School Intervention Without my Knowledge

[Zozo1990]

Hi all,

Just wanted some input on this.

My daughter came home from school today saying she was taken out of class by someone and they talked about getting to know her more, what her worries are through these sessions that they will be having weekly. The lady who took her out said she has been on her list for a while to get through. I assume she is the school's pupil support worker and has worked with other children and told her she wants to get to know her as she doesn't know who she is but she knows lots of the other children. Si an activity they did was the worry tree, where my daughter wrote down what is worrying her. She wrote down that a couple of the children are leaving her out and laughing at her, and making silly comments to her.

Bit of back story here, we moved to a new place and my daughter has just started at this school on 27th September 2022. She was fine the first week but is a sensitive soul so she has had a few cries in the last few weeks she has been at the school.

What is this intervention they have called her in for? Am I right in being a bit peeved off that the school hasn't communicated this to me?

Also, apparently she asked her things like do your mum and dad work, does your sister go to nursery here, where did you live before, what school was it, do you go to extra curricular activities, etc.

It might be nice to have been told in advance, but honestly they are trying to help. You should be more happy than annoyed.

My comment above is based on how difficult it can be to get schools to accpt when a child needs help and then to provide it.
You have a proactive school, that's a good thing.

Is your child pupil premium?

I’m going to guess it’s the questions about her home life that you don’t like?

We regularly have different interventions being put into place for different children throughout our school. It would be difficult to continuously inform parents and in many cases unnecessary as they are part of our daily curriculum offer in school.

I think they're just trying to help. Did you speak to them about the crying / being upset?

I very much think this should have been communicated to you, both as a parent and a teacher

It’s too hard to let parents know the school is so worried about their child that they have organised some special intervention involving, not a teacher or TA, but a support worker??
Are you for real?

If there is an issue that the child is struggling with, the best way to approach is by working WITH the parents, not by leaving them in the dark. It’s true whether it’s an anxiety issue or an educational problem, worry about SN. Anything.

So many parents and children are desperate for help like this.
Ask the school if you want to know more about it, but how fortunate your child is to have a school that prioritises her emotional
well being!
In an ideal world you’d have been told beforehand. We are in a far from ideal world in schools and the phone call to you would likely be one of a hundred essential things any individual planned to do that day, which they couldn’t get to because of even more essential things they hadn’t expected.
Give them some slack.

Thank you so much for your replies. Two things had me slightly aggrieved, the fact that she is missing lesson time and then having to bring that work home to complete and they didn't tell me about it. The school made us sign an agreement that we would work in partnership together, surely they should be informing us of this as we should be utilising and implementing the strategies she will be taught. I've already done a worry tree and self confidence bubble with her at home alongside play scenarios of kids saying mean things and how we can react.

Tbh, I am happy if they are helping her just would be nice to know how long it will be going on for, what is it about, etc. We're quite hands on parents and want to be involved with our children's school lives and education.

She is 8 years old, BTW.

My school has recently started Thrive sessions, no parental consent is needed and I'd imagine this is similar.

I would just speak to her teacher and ask for more information about the intervention they have organised so that you can give any necessary support at home too. I wouldn't worry too much about her missing a bit of lesson time at this age, lots of kids have interventions for all sorts of reasons and they will catch up pretty quickly.

Apparently, this lady will be painting with my daughter and all the children do the same course who go to her. Never heard of this. My partner and I are both secondary school teachers.

Not heard of that myself. For high school our student support team might pick up a student having a wobble, perhaps highlighted by their Form Tutor. The reason I asked was she Pupil Premium is that we have recently appointed a PP Coordinator who is getting to know the students. I would have a chat with her school as if I was in your position would have like to have been informed.

We'd inform parents.

Maybe she's doing a kind of basic art therapy?

I don't get why she needs therapy though, if that is what it is? She is fine at home with us. What have they picked up apart from she is upset a lot at school by comments other kids make. She gets upset when they say things like you can't play with us, why are you following us? I'm not your friend, etc. She's new at the school, I think she has done amazingly well for a new kid to go into a school where they have known each other for years.

You should have been told really.
But she is of course going to miss some lesson time if she is receiving any intervention type help.
School is trying to support your child to settle better into her new school. This kind of thing takes time and money.
If you don’t wish for her to get this help then please just tell school this so they can target another child who could benefit.
I’m slightly confused though as you are suggesting that she is struggling at school at the moment and could do with some help.
Also, if you take her out of this now she will not be on a priority list later if you change your mind.

I work in secondary send and have to get consent from both parent and child to run interventions with students.

Ideally your daughter won't be taken out of English and maths lessons.

The questions asked would have been basic 'getting to know you' questions to build a picture of your daughter's likes, dislikes and to find topics of conversation. Maybe for common ground if there were other students as well - eg zozodd is a swimmer, X - you swim as well don't you?

As a parent to a 10yo, I have been asked about interventions for my daughter to attend because we have ongoing discussions about her send needs.

So, with my parent head on I would suggest you contact the school and ask them what the intervention is about and how long it will run for, why your daughter has been put into it and what outcome they are hoping for.

And breaking into an established group can be really tough - we moved schools 4 years ago and dd2 is still struggling with that, which is exacerbated by her send needs.

Don't underestimate the effect this will be having on your daughter, even if she is 'fine at home'. This may simply be a way of school supporting her to make friends in a positive way and be resilient to rejection.

What do you mean about her bringing missed work home to complete? I've never heard of that before (Primary School teacher).

I'm wondering if it's something she has signed herself up for - we have a therapist who comes in from a MH organisation, but the KS2 children are able to request to speak to her themselves. I don't think parental consent is needed.

She hasn't signed herself up for it. She was taken out of maths today, and was told to complete her maths work at home (she brought home a worksheet). She's ahead of many of her peers in her work, so I'm not concerned about the work. Just find it all a little bizarre, as a secondary school teacher. I don't mind if they want to help her, at least inform me what help you are offering, why, when, how will it help her, what can we do at home?

I’m going to guess it’s the questions about her home life that you don’t like?
If I were the OP, it would depend on whether I thought they were interpreting natural anxiety (as a newbie) as low self-esteem/low mood etc
Isn't Thrive a government initiative to prevent mental health issues escalating to self-harm later? I think it is natural to be a bit concerned if they have targets and boxes to tick, using the latest buzzwords (resilience, mindfulness, meditation), and so end up looking for problems that aren't necessarily there/are not out the norm.
But I am the type to worry that an overkeen mental health worker decides DC refusing breakfast that day becomes a safeguarding issue, as opposed to DC just not being hungry. paranoid, much?

Sorry if I'd missed that, @Zozo1990.

Funnily enough, it's the bringing a worksheet home that I still find most bizarre! Maybe it's just the sort of area I work in - it would never cross our minds to make a child catch up on the curriculum if being offered something deemed as more important (emotional well-being, life skills etc).

They've noticed she is struggling a bit and are giving her some extra support. Rather than be aggrieved, just call and ask about what it is and how long she will be doing it for.