School Intervention Without my Knowledge

[Zozo1990]

Hi all,

Just wanted some input on this.

My daughter came home from school today saying she was taken out of class by someone and they talked about getting to know her more, what her worries are through these sessions that they will be having weekly. The lady who took her out said she has been on her list for a while to get through. I assume she is the school's pupil support worker and has worked with other children and told her she wants to get to know her as she doesn't know who she is but she knows lots of the other children. Si an activity they did was the worry tree, where my daughter wrote down what is worrying her. She wrote down that a couple of the children are leaving her out and laughing at her, and making silly comments to her.

Bit of back story here, we moved to a new place and my daughter has just started at this school on 27th September 2022. She was fine the first week but is a sensitive soul so she has had a few cries in the last few weeks she has been at the school.

What is this intervention they have called her in for? Am I right in being a bit peeved off that the school hasn't communicated this to me?

It may well be Thrive but might not even be as formal as that. I would say it is unusual to take her out of maths or English but if she is doing well then this should be less of an issue. Try not to see it as therapy or saying there is something wrong, be appreciative that she is getting some 1:1 attention.

Yes, I should add that English/Maths is normally time for all children to be in lessons.

Hope you get some answers and that it proves useful for her! X

It sounds like pretty standard Learning Mentor stuff, though possibly a specific programme being delivered as part of that. It's normal practice in primary schools and can be as a result of self-referral, teacher-referral (which may well be as a result of her being upset) or just every-so-often check ins.

Parental consent is not required for a child to have time with a Learning Mentor and they absolutely would not be informed of each and every session, nor about interventions generally. There are simply too many for that to be an effective use of time. However, the Learning Mentor will contact parents if/when something of reportable significance occurs (a plan is put in place, there's something specific for parents to be involved with, etc).

Sounds like ELSA sessions? Agree a heads up and an overview of the aims would have been good. I'd be a little peeved at the lack of communication and being taken out of a core subject too.

But the issue is NOT whether one needs parental consent or not.
And because it’s hard to get support, parents are not supposed to just be grateful whilst being left in the side lines!

@Zozo1990 have you talked to the teacher and ask them what is going on and why?
Surely if it’s an issue with anxiety/stress/relation to peers, you’d want to know about it so you can help at home. It would also be logical for the teacher to mention what they’ve noticed to you too.

Having said that, my experience is that teachers often don’t say anything because they are worried about the reaction of parents. I’ve had that with dc who ended up getting 1-1 support for English as he was so far behind. Teacher never said anything, dc didn’t either. I only learnt about it because teacher made a passing comment about dc was taken outside the classroom to do some work. Then I enquired more and learnt what was REALLY going on.
His teacher said she was always extremely careful because many parents then get very upset and angry that their dc is getting ‘special help’ as they obviously dint need anything like this (because it’s for thick children).
So I’d approach it like this. What’s going in, why is it so important she is missing maths class and how can we work in partnership.

Btw @Iamnotthe1 , if a child needs support from a mentor, as far as I am concerned, THAT is an event important enough to tell the parents about it.
i mean not every child gets a mentor. Support is scarce so surely it says that something big is happening right? Otherwise, the child wouldn’t have got a mentor?

Waiting for a plan to be put in place etc… shouts not wanting to work with the parents or thinking nothing good can come from the parents knowing about their child issues.

That's not what it means. The "Learning Mentor" is a specific job title and role. It's a member of staff who works with children across a range of social and emotional areas. All children across school will, at some point in the year, access the Learning Mentor. Some children will be identified as needing further support for a range of reasons, for example, anxiety, friendship fall-outs, transitioning students, etc. Those will have additional or more regular sessions.

In some situations, the parents having knowledge of those sessions is really important. In some, however, the parents are part of the reason the child needs those sessions and speaking to them straight away would be counter-productive.

Then the way the school is set up so that ALL children will access a new tour at some point in the year should be made clear to parents.

I personally have never seen a school where ALL children would have access to a mentor like this, mainly because schools and teachers do nit have the time and budget fur that sort if support! It has been hard enough for school to give the children who needed the educational support they ought to receive.
Friendship stuff was dealt by the teacher on an adhoc basis and even then the teachers involved have always met me know was going on.
A mentor seems to be an unusual set up tbh.

I do not know a single primary school that doesn't have at least a part-time "Learning Mentor" though they may call it something else. I've even worked in schools that have a small team. Secondary schools have entire teams of purely pastoral care.

School staff do not, and can not, tell individual sets of parents about every issue that happens within school. There just simply isn't time. Moreover, as I said before, sometimes the cause of the child's worry or issue is the parents themselves. Communicating that before a clear plan of support is in place could have negative implications for the child.

I’ve seen posts like this before and the answers are always very insistent that you as the parent should be grateful.

I take a different view and I would want to be kept informed. I would not think very highly of a school that was so worried about my child that they organised this sort of intervention without first alerting parents.

@Iamnotthe1 thar just shows your experience and mine are different and it’s not possible to generalise.
No idea what’s the situation fir the OP is. But it just shows letting parents whose children are just starting wouldn’t go amiss.

fwiw if the OP had been told of such a scheme, I doubt she would have come on here…..