To miss out inviting a child to a party by accident

[MorningBrew]

Ok. So my dc(5) walked out of school convinced that he's is going to a birthday party today. The birthday girl has told him all about it and he's v excited.

We don't have an invitation though.
I already knew it's happening. But thought it's not a whole class one.
(It's a hall hire party. They are 26 kids overall in the class, if relevant.)

If the mum is only inviting a small group - absolutely fine! But I am genuinely sat here thinking what if she invited the whole class but somehow we didn't get the invite. How likely is this?
Dc was home for two days with sickness two was ago.

I'm worried that may be mum thinks she invited us and we didn't acknowledge at all. So that's one thing.
And the other is obvs dc - do I just tell him bluntly that we don't have an invite or do I not saying anything. I can imagine him being a bit upset with the girl tomorrow if the kids talk about it and dc going 'but you didn't invite me!'.

I know I'm overthinking. Lol. It's all new to me!

Sorry for the typos.

Message her and say dc lost the invite at school, what are the details of the party.

Do you know the mum? Could you just message explaining what your son has said, let her know it's absolutely fine if he isn't invited and see what she says?

I would just message her and say that your son is convinced he has been invited to the party and can she confirm one way or the other because he hasn’t received an invitation.

Yep just do this!

No, I don't know the mum.
We have a group chat but there wasn't an invitation posted on there and I didn't receive a text through that.

Could you say something to the mum in the morning.
Maybe something along the lines of, "I'm really sorry but my DS thinks he has been invited to your DD's party. He's not invited is he? That's fine, It's not a problem. I just wanted to check we haven't missed the invitation and you didn't think I was being rude in not replying."

I know it's a really awkward situation and I feel for you (and your son).
I really hope it is just that he has missed the invitation and he can go, as it sounds like the little girl really wants him to be there.

This! It’s awkward but just ask the birthday girl’s mum.

I had this happen to me too. The mum was mortified when I asked her, and confirmed that the whole class had been invited and the teacher was supposed to have handed out paper invites. We went to the party but did wonder whether the mum was just being polite.

Two months later the teacher gave us the invite 🤔

Find her number on the group chat and message her privately. If you explain politely as you have here that you just want to clear up the confusion and it's fine if he isn't invited, I can't see how anyone could be offended by that.

so just find her number off the group chat and message her saying what you have said here

Use WhatsApp (assuming your group chat is WhatsApp) to pm the mum. Just say you totally understand if dc isn't invited but he's a bit confused and you just want to be sure etc. I'm sure she will understand.

I have sent this very similar message. Turns out DD was invited, no idea what happened to the invite though, but she did go to after school club so am assuming it was lost there.

Yeah just message her. 5 year olds are a nightmare for changing their minds about who to invite, or forgetting people when asked for a list. I have been both the recipient and the instigator of an ‘oops really sorry for the late invite but does your child want to come to my child’s party after all?’ message.

Tbh op you need to practice these cringe moments. There will be plenty more before your dc leaves home.
Text the dm.

Find her number and just ask

Can you find her via the group chat and ask?

I would do this.
And say that it's really fine if he isn't etc...

I had a similar situation. I messaged the mum and said 'sorry, this is so awkward, but my dd thinks she's been invited to your dd's party but we haven't had an invitation. Please do tell me if she hasn't! But if she is, please can you let me know the details'.

It was fine, she was invited luckily!

Please don’t do this

A parent did this to me for one of my kids parties and their child simply hadn’t been invited.

I had no choice but to invite him then.

I would say to dc that he hasn't had an invite to the party and he should ask friend if he is invited. The invite may be lost, the teacher may have given them out when he wasn't there and forgotten about it or he might not be invited him because it's all girls or something like that.

There is nothing in the OP that makes me think your child has been invited, a 5 years old being told by a 5 year old is more likely to be misunderstanding than your child being left out.

just message her "Bit of a communication problem between 5 yr olds; could you just clarify if Benji is on the party guest list ? No probs if he isn't.

As the parent who received a message like the one you sent, I had to say the child was invited. Lucky indeed!

I don't think she can find the mum in the group as she doesn't know who she is?