Gender disappointment vs Gender Euphoria

[Smogtopia]

I see lots of threads regarding gender disappointment (yes Sex over gender but titling the thread sex euphoria isn't attracting the audience and input I seek...)

For any of you that had a strong preference and got what you wanted does it live up to your expectations? Much as I hear gender disappointment fades... does gender euphoria fade too or are you consistently happy with the sex of your children?

I can't tell you how infrequently I think about the sex of my children.

I'm going to say it now rather than a drip feed - I had absolutely no preference. In fact I had a few losses so my healthy children I got to take home are everything I've ever wanted. But an acquaintance is just always alllways talking about how happy she is with her 'set' and how it was all she ever wished for blah blah

I wanted boys. In particular I wanted a boy named James. We didn't find out in advance the sex of either child. I wanted boys so badly that I wasn't ready at 20 weeks to know I was having a girl.

My first is a boy named James. I adored him from the off and I still do. He's so kind and sweet. He really is the son I wanted. We had a lot of trouble getting pregnant so when we decided to have baby 2 I knew that if it didn't happen I was happy with my little boy.

For baby 2 I wanted a boy and picked the name Frederick.

Baby 2 is a girl. I adored her from the off. She's so kind and sweet. She's a total mini me. I love her name, I love her. We knew baby 2 would be the last no matter what and she's completed our family perfectly. Was I disappointed she wasn't a boy? Yes, did it pass? Yes. Did I love her from the moment I met her? Yes.

Has my euphoria from number 1 being the boy I wanted faded? Mmm good question. I adore both children and appreciate the people they are turning into. I don't think the euphoria of having 2 children has faded, especially after our fertility struggles. I wouldn't change my daughter for a son either.

I really can't answer because I've never had strong feelings either way.

For my first I genuinely had no preference, I just wanted a safe healthy baby. For my second I would have quite liked the opposite as I knew there wouldn't be another and I'd have liked to have the chance of parenting both. I got the same and was basically happy. Since then I've come to value having two the same more for the practical reasons that you get more use out of hand me downs, and the philosophical reason that you have to treat your DC as individuals whose differences aren't down to being A Boy or A Girl. But I rarely think about it because it's not that important.

Total open honesty - I had two boys and when I found out I was (unexpectedly) pregnant with a third I so very desperately wanted a girl. I adore my boys and they pretty much completed our family, so I thought the way I could get my head around an unplanned extra was if it was a girl. I will admit every day I look at her and get a little buzz of joy that she’s a girl. I feel terrible sometimes because it could easily have been a boy and would I have felt the same? She has also been the easiest, happiest little baby I could ever imagine which helps. She’s only 2 now but my euphoria has not faded in fact I feel like it’s only getting stronger. I am so so thrilled we have a girl too.
weird becUse I didn’t have a huge preference with 1/2 - in fact I wanted another boy for number 2 to have same sex siblings. And in fact, she refuses to wear dresses where as my sons love nothing more than a princess dress so it’s nothing to do with clothes etc! Can’t explain it really.

Appreciate the honesty!

Before having kids: wanted boys. Perhaps, in my mind, if we had a third, a girl might be nice.

Pregnant with DC1: wanted a boy, got a boy.

Pregnant with DC2: changed my mind a lot but at the time of the gender scan, wanted a girl. Had a teeny tiny cry when I found out he was a boy, then got over it the same day and got excited for a boy.

Now: Delighted to have both boys, I love their dynamic. We won't be having a third but if we did I think I'd want another boy.

That said, I don't think I'd have been put out for long if I'd had different at any point.

I grew up with 1 sister and 2 boys and loved the dynamic. I always wanted 2 boys and 2 girls myself and that’s what we have got.
We didn’t find out the sex with any of our 4 but, when I was pregnant with number 4, I spent the majority of the pregnancy imagining the baby being a girl; looking at girls clothes, thinking mainly of girls names etc. I can’t say how I would’ve felt had number 4 been a boy, and I absolutely adore my 2 boys, but I remember the moment they lifted her up and my husband announced girl and I was absolutely ecstatic.

Oops; meant to say I grew up with 1 sister and 2 brothers.

If you’d asked me what my perfect mix would have been I would have said two girls- and I got two girls. I love the fact I have a sister and am so happy my children will have that.
Im sure I would be singing the praises of boys had I had them, but I probably would have longed for a girl. I can honestly say I’ve never felt any longing for a son.

I always wanted two daughters and I have two daughters and I am consistently thrilled about it.

I never had a preference in boys or girls, but I did want at least one that liked being outside and getting muddy, always thought that would be a boy, turns out (so far at least) that it's my DD!

I had an unexpected third and was very pleased they were a different sex from the older two. Saying that my older two are very different from one another. They are not "cookie cutter" same sex children with stereotypical likes for that sex.

However sometimes it would be easier if they were all the same sex.

I think with the third being unexpected and me being older I was mostly relieved we were all healthy.

I wanted a boy with my first, due mostly to a fractious relationship with my own mother and worries I wouldn't know how to navigate a mother/daughter relationship.

I had a girl. I am so pleased because she's taught me a huge amount about myself and 15yrs later, I'm somewhat euphorically (in a British and understated way), raising the child I was meant to have and through that, sharing a lot that I wouldn't have experienced with a boy.

Of course, I then had a boy as well and that's just as smashing but in minutely different ways.

It's been a sobering and important lesson raising a child who isn't the sex I'd vaguely imagined when conceiving my children.

I feel sorry for any child born, either the right or wrong sex for the parents wishes. It suggests they have fixed expectations on who their children will become, what they will enjoy or wear.

I was pretty devastated the first time round at a private gender scan to find out it was a boy. The ladies doing the scan were very kind, passed off my tears as the shock 😲 So I guess they see it a lot. I remained somewhat disappointed all the way until the birth and was secretly hoping they were wrong. As soon as they had him out though, I was just so happy to see him. It's obviously completely ridiculous in hindsight, and I have the sweetest cuddliest almost 4 year old in the world!

Then we decided to try for a second. I had a little pang for the pink clothes, but ultimately decided that I'd prefer another boy because my first was so amazing and i wanted a carbon copy (but without his allergies and reflux lol), but I didn't mind that much as now realised it didn't matter. It was obvious even to me at the 20 week scan that we were having a girl, and i was immediately happy this time. She's amazing!

If I start crapping money and we can have a third, it won't matter what we have. I think I'd prefer a surprise!

@lunar1 that’s an impressive reach

I always saw us with a boy. I wasn’t fussed either way but would have struggled to be handed a girl as I was so sure we’d have a boy!

There's always one

No i didn't have a preference for what set of genitals my babies would possess - as having a boy or girl has no bearing on what they will be like - I have a son and 3 very different daughters.

But it's not always about that and you're being a shade shortsighted about it. As I said, I had a very difficult relationship with my mother and worries about navigating a mother/daughter relationship. I'm afraid I don't live in a vacuum and my life experiences affected my confidence in my own abilities. It's not about genitals and personalities. For some of us, it's a deep rooted fear of our own capacity.

I wanted two daughters snd that's what I've got. I would of loved my son if I'd had one/if I go on to have one but I've imagined having a daughter since I was young. Not in a way I could articulate/explicitly, more like the default my brain went to when thinking about my life as I grow up, was having a girl.

Nope

Yes pretty much this (except I don't have a sister).

I knew I wanted one girl, and after that I was hoping baby 2 would also be a girl, although if she had been a boy she would have been every bit as loved of course. But I feel very lucky to have my two daughters

And another one.