People asking who will be the father while I'm pregnant

[mangomangodurian]

Anyone else get bombarded with this annoyance?

Have you possibly missed some context here? Are you in a same sex relationship?
No one asked this when I was pregnant as I was in a long term Hetero relationship. I imagine this is the kind of rude thing people might say if you're going it alone or lesbians

Is there some additional context to this post?

No, everyone correctly assumed that it was my husband. Is some of your post missing?

Are you not in a relationship with the father? Are you in a same sex relationship and used a donor?

Without more context it’s impossible to really understand what you mean and why people might be saying this?

No I have been in a relationship for fifteen years so never got pestered about this. I’m going off the assumption that you are one of the following perhaps

A. a somewhat new relationship
B. single mother
C. lesbian
D. you could very well possibly be surrounded by nosey assholes that need to learn to mind their business
E. All of the above

No, I was never asked this.

I think there was an assumption for all of my pregnancies that DH was the father so I can honestly say no one asked me.

When I was pregnant people (correctly) assumed that DP was the father.

It's only since I became a single parent that people feel they have the right to ask if they have the same dad, and some people assume they don't.

There most be some context missing?

Why do they ask, if tou're with somebody, they'll assume it's his.

Are you in a same sex relationship?
I guess they're being nosy!
Wondering if you went to a clinic or drafted in a male friend.
Id wonder too 😳

Only my own DM (I was in a heterosexual relationship at the time.)

No

If you are not in an obvious relationship, people are bound to wonder, but it is rude to ask unless they know you very well and care about you. Casual acquaintances should not be asking you about something so personal and are not entitled to the truth. Just tell them it's Boris Johnson.

Who will be the father? Do you have a panel of wannabes to choose from?

I am unmarried. And the bio father is not around

No, nobody asked. I was married though.

I'd prepare an answer that you feel reflects your feelings and how much you want to share.
"I will be doing this on my own, it doesn't sound ideal perhaps but it's right for me in the circumstances".

I'd think about what you're happy to share and prepare answers around that. Eg, if you're happy to share how you will be living going forward, share your plans with excitement.
Congratulations🎊 by the way!
You dont owe anybody chapter and verse as to why you're doing this single.
If a questions really shocks you, say
I'm sorry, I must have misheard.
If they ask again say "ha ha you got a file on me, this line of questioning is a bit forensic". 😄 they usually back down!!

A woman asked me once if my dc had the same father. I had left their Dad. I said "yes, do yours?". She was offended.

Made me chuckle inwardly.

"Who will be the father?" is an odd question because it implies multiple possibilities and a choice of who the father will be. It can't be commonly asked of anyone.

"Who is the father?" possibly, but it's very rude and I assume also rare to be asked this.

Hi OP,

We've moved this thread onto the parenting board as we thought it might be a better fit.

Who’s asking? It’s more obvious if the pregnant woman is in a relationship so if she’s not and hasn’t been known to have had a partner I can see it’s something which might come up, but you don’t have to answer. Do you know who the father is?

He’ll still be the father though, that’s just a fact, not really a matter of opinion.

People shouldn't ask. I work with one lady who is on her own and has a boy the same age as mine. I have never asked her about the father as it's none of my business.

People shouldn't ask
To be fair, most people don't. I can't imagine op is really being "bombarded" with this question from all sides 🤷🏻‍♀️

I guess it depends on the people you live around. I can’t believe it as I’m from a small town in texas and the people there absolutely will ask you this left right and center. They are quite old fashioned and think unless you are widowed that it’s basically child abuse for them to not have a father figure.

I can believe it * sorry auto correct