Wishing away the newborn stage

[SassyPants87]

just had second baby 3 weeks ago and my god I forgot all about the newborn stage and the relentless feeding and sleepless nights! I almost feel bad thinking this but I often find myself wishing this time away! I know I’ll probably miss it when it’s gone but I know what’s it’s like when they get a bit older and there is a set routine!

is it just me that feels this way? Just want a bit of my life back!

Nope I'm the same. DS2 has been sooooooo grumpy, I've nigh on wished away the last 17m and we're finally hitting the point where he's slightly happier to be alive!! 😂

Can you find ways to make it more enjoyable? Lovely snacks, nice programmes to watch? There's something special about the closeness of it especially in the night I found.. Now don't get me wrong, I still remember the AWFUL tiredness but I've lovely memories too of making it really lovely as much as I could...

I hated the newborn stage with both DC.

@Milkand2sugarsplease exactly this! Just get constantly screamed at for boob, nappy change, winding! Just want to fast forward a bit where I actually get nice smiles back, cute baby babbles and to be able to have a good stretch of sleep at night!

Same! I hate this stage. I can cope with anything on more sleep. Plus my newborn just seems constantly unhappy to be alive 🥲😅

"Enjoy every minute of baby snuggles" is basically bollocks.

I found the second much easier to handle, he just slotted in with our routine and time flew really quick. When I look back I remember lots of walks and playing with my first son, trying to get him to sleep, but didn’t have the time with the second. I found when they started showing their different characteristics more entertaining. With the first I also missed my work colleagues, not necessarily working, but the idle chitchat we used to have. People used to say enjoy the time, they are only babies for a short time, I would say thank goodness.

I was the same OP, I found it really hard. You spend your every minute tending to their needs and they just scream at you and don’t let you sleep.

Mine had really bad reflux so that added an extra layer of frustration that he’d be sick constantly and then would be crying again because he was hungry again - just constant feeding and screaming. I don’t miss it at all.

It’ll be so much nicer when you get some smiles and eye contact.

I hated the newborn stage with both of my dc. I very much wished it away (much against the advice of people telling me to "cherish every moment") and both times of my life seem like a big blur now.

Tbh I don't regret that at all now that they are older. It hasn't affected my bond with either of my dc. I am a much better and happier parent to young children than I ever was to babies. I have friends that absolutely loved the baby stage but hated having toddlers. Whereas I found toddlers much easier than babies. We are all different as parents and we come into our own at different stages imo. Don't feel guilty for feeling how you feel op, it's perfectly normal.

Me too not a fan of the baby stage at all
This is my 2nd and I've forgotten how hard it is
Definitely my last baby

I much prefer toddlers I find it easier even though some say it's harder but the baby stage is just relentless x

Felt exactly the same with my second (hated it with my first too, but put loads of pressure on myself to "enjoy every moment"). I wished it away, was glad when it was over, and don't miss it 🤣

Best bit of second time round is that you know, for sure, that This Will Pass.

Newborn babies are amazing; looking after them 24 hours a day is hideous.

Felt exactly the same. I knew I’d hate the newborn stage before having DC2 (had had a shocker with DC1) so didn’t expect to enjoy it - I think that helped perhaps? Plus knowing that it gets better also helped!!

This!

To be fair for my third I indulged in day time TV and having him sleep on me. It was nice. He's six months now and already much better. Have just put him to bed for his morning nap and he's babbling away!

I am the same. Love a toddler.
My end goal is when they drop all the naps and you can enjoy life as a family!

Nope, not just you! Toddlers are so much easier and more enjoyable!

Not just you. I found it really upsetting/frustrating when I was trying to do something that would help DS - like change his nappy - and he would scream and scream like I was torturing him. Several times an hour.

Rationally, I knew that he was bewildered by unfamiliar sensations, anxious about not being in my arms, possibly feeling cold and hungry and vulnerable. But emotionally, it was so overwhelming to be doing everything I could to keep him comfy (and sshing and making comforting faces and trying to be as quick and gentle as possible and get him back on the boob) and he was still hating every second. And shrieking loudly about it.

He's nearly 5 months now and he's still quite fussy about transitions (nappy change, getting dressed, putting in the pram). But he doesn't do the newborn panicked, red faced wailing about it any more and it makes a big difference.

I wished both my newborn baby stages away in fact I wished the first 3 years away with both my dc because it just didn't suit my personality to be constantly at their beck and call, exhausted all the time with no space for myself. Don't get me wrong I loved every inch of them but enjoy it I did not. Don't worry about it op you will find your groove at some point. I thoroughly enjoyed being a parent when mine were around 6 & 8. They were adorable.

I needed to see this thread! I thought I was broken for not enjoying the baby stage seen as everyone tells you how magical it is! I find myself constantly thinking I can’t wait until she’s this old so she can do this.
I miss stupid things like being able to shower when I like 😂

I hear you. My second was a scheduled section and as we drove to hospital I was very tempted to say “keep on driving”. 😂

My second is 4.5 weeks and I agree! I kind of forgot how relentless the newborn stage is - and then add a toddler on top! It feels impossible

I have 2 kids. 11 and 18. I have never been huge fan of tiny babies tbh. I had my second fully knowing the pregnancy and newborn stage was where I need to grit my teeth and get through it.

The older they get the better I think they are. Me and my 2 are super close. I love them (obviously) but I also really like them as people and would choose to spend time with them over anyone. I think they are fab people.

So it was worth it. But I do agree that the newborn stage is pretty awful.

I hated the newborn stage and have zero regrets about wishing it away, I wouldn't go back.

I always think the "enjoy the snuggles" crowd must have had babies that agreed to occasionally go in the cot. My second was much more placid and the snuggles were so much nicer because they were optional (as much as they ever are).

No, that's how I feel. I'm soon to have my second and have already told myself I'm playing the long game, and basically having a baby so that I can get to the 'having a toddler' stage and beyond again. Much less pressure! Babies are pretty dull

I cannot wait for the end of naps and to be able to do things as a 4. DS2 NEEDS his sleep and he'll only do it in his cot so days out are horrid for everyone concerned at the minute but with a 9yo too we have to just plough on.