Wishing away the newborn stage

[SassyPants87]

just had second baby 3 weeks ago and my god I forgot all about the newborn stage and the relentless feeding and sleepless nights! I almost feel bad thinking this but I often find myself wishing this time away! I know I’ll probably miss it when it’s gone but I know what’s it’s like when they get a bit older and there is a set routine!

is it just me that feels this way? Just want a bit of my life back!

Thank you for all your messages! You’ve definitely all made me feel like I’m not a bad person for wishing this stage away!

I really do not like the newborn stage at all and it’s a large part of the reason why I do not want anymore children. I just can’t face the thought of going back there again.

I do not miss it at all! I found it by far the hardest stage.

I 100% feel this! i’m a FTM baby is 5 weeks old and i can defo say i am not enjoying the newborn stage. My baba has horrific colic and reflux and now being treated for a cows milk allergy- he cry’s (screams the whole street down) for hours and hours in the eve and through the night and it’s horrific. I am just wishing the days away, it’s awful- but you are not alone!

My second is 5 weeks and I'm finding it really tough. My first was a contact napper but would sleep in his Next to me Me at night. This baby just won't be put down, he'll occasionally nap in his moses basket in the day but wants to be held all night. It's killing me. My back and neck have never been great after a car accident a few years ago but they are in agony every day now. The lack of sleep means I'm waking with wierd and wonderful illnesses every day and I cant recover from them as I get no rest. I'm a high sleep needs person so I'm pretty miserable.

And if anyone knows how to get my boy to sleep not in my/his dads arms, please, I beg of you, share the secret. I'm even going to give a cranial osteopath a call on Monday in the hope they might be able to help and there is some underlying issue we haven't noticed.

Sincere sympathy to those of you in the trenches at the minute.

I mentioned this thread to my mum earlier, my sibling and I are in our 30s and she didn't hesitate to agree she hated the newborn stage and has zero regrets about wishing it away. We were clearly complete asshole babies

Wish it away without guilt! It’s awful for many people!

I did the same. DS now 4 months old and it's SO MUCH BETTER! I do not miss the newborn days.

Me too. My baby is 3 weeks old and I love her to bits but this is not enjoyable at all for me. I miss my old life!

@Pinktruffle my LO has seen an osteopath this week for the first time and although he still still screaming and I haven’t seen much improvement she was amazing and we are going back next week I would highly recommend as I think after a few sessions it will help. Not sure about your birthday so I had forceps in theatre and she has said that’s cause a lot of trauma for him which is to do with the constant crying as well.

@AmberM2022 thank you for sharing your experience. I am hopeful the osteopath will help, surely something has to?!
I have wondered about birth trauma. I was supposed to have scheduled section but went in to labour early. I still had a section which is technically classed an emergancy but wasn't really an emergancy if that makes sense. I do wonder how traumatic a C-section is for babies, I guess that's a chat to have with the osteopath

I didn't love the newborn stage (except for the Netflix feeding marathons, god I miss those) and I am still learning to enjoy the baby phase.

It's normal OP.

@Pinktruffle no problem! hope they manage to help you!! yeah i never thought of birth trauma either, when you think about it too it must be very strange and scary for them! even though it seems so ‘normal’ and an everyday thing to us!

Great thread! My DS2 is 9 weeks old, had a tough few weeks and not enjoying the newborn stage, thought I was just anxious and / or naive with my first to not enjoy very much and promised myself I'd enjoy this stage of being so small... here I am, I haven't enjoyed it, I find it difficult how small and vulnerable he is... I don't think it's wrong to wish it away, I think it's really hard. I also think you forget about it, naturally as otherwise people wouldn't have more!!

This time round, I'm better at knowing everything is a season and it all passes,
I think it's realistic and normal to say you don't enjoy this season!

I hated the newborn stage. The phrase 'enjoys the cuddles' used to make me so angry. I did enjoy them, but hated the majority of everything else.

I HATED the newborn stage. At 6 months I'm still not happy but I have a crappy sleeper.
Being up around the clock, constantly feeding, being screamed at. Being worried about SIDS or other health issues. I don't understand why anyone would like that.
She's much easier now. Thank. God. I'm still unsure how people can have 2 kids. It can't even get good enough to compensate for the first few months with a colicky baby.

Other than the lovely sleepy snuggles, I didn’t enjoy the newborn stage AT ALL and like you, wished it away. I sometimes feel like I could have been more patient and “enjoyed” it more
but in reality there wasn’t a lot to enjoy 🤣Just thinking back to the sleepless nights, the endless spit ups etc makes me shudder lol.

Oh god I remember feeling like this! Totally normal hang in there!

I remembered thinking I'll never have another one when my first was a few weeks old. It was so hard it was agony!
Now my third is 6 months and already I can't really mentally connect with the difficulties of the first 3/4 months.
You forget it is unbelievable and then your child grows and it's amazing... and then you think "ok it's bad but it doesn't last" and then you have another one!!!!