2 year old with no speech or understanding

[lucylucyapplejuicy]

Hi,

My little boy is 2, he's the apple of my eye I adore the little chap but it's becoming increasingly obvious to be that we are going to face some challenges along the way for him.

He has no speech, no mama/dada etc just kind of random noises and a long drawn out groan he does for hour on repeat or when tired/upset. Now it's not the speech that worries me too much it's more the fact he has no understanding. No sit down, come here etc he really does live in his own little world. If he wants anything he will hand lead us to it. No pointing and limited eye contact.

He doesn't really enjoy playing with other children or his siblings, he will occasionally chase them or all bring a ball to me to throw. He also likes to line up his toys.

He is such a gorgeous little fella and I adore him but I really do think he's a little bit different. Health visitors just referred us to a toddler talk group which I can't say is helpful. I've mentioned it to GP who of course at this age says not to worry but you know what us mums are like! That's our job to worry

Can anyone relate or have any similar experiences? I don't care if he's autistic, has learning difficulties etc he's my boy and that's that, I just feel like I'm being fobbed off constantly and not sure how best to help him as he seems to be getting more frustrated by the day.

Couple of other traits he has...

-terrible diet (only around 10 foods he will eat and trust me I have tried!)

-runs away as soon as he isn't strapped in or on reins which scares the life out of me.

-not overly affectionate

-doesn't respond to name

Anyway, sorry for waffling on, not sure what I'm hoping to achieve but some company or stories from mums who have been through this would be really helpful!

Thank you
Xx

Hi,
Has his hearing been checked? When you said he doesn’t respond to his name it’s the first thing I thought of.

I don’t want to make an arm chair diagnosis but quite a bit of what you’ve written reminds me of both my autistic children. Ask the GP to refer you to a paediatrician. Wait lists tend to be long to be seen but it would be worth pushing your gp to get you on the list. GPs can be rubbish. I’d try another GP. It might be a bit of a slog. Ours fobbed me off four times when my dc had a medical condition. It felt like I wasn’t taken seriously because dc had autism/adhd and a learning disability.

Did you have a two year check? Our health visitor did ours and referred us.

I would look at local charities for special needs as you’ll find a lot more advice and support from other parents in the same boat. You could look at pecs as a means of giving your son some tools to communicate. Some people look at signing but neither of my children responded to that.

All of the things you've mentioned where the things that suggested my son was autistic. Very similar to your boy. He was diagnosed at 2.

I would push for a referral, it varies by borough how this happens but your HV will know or the SEN page on the council website.

It's an emotional time, be kind to yourself x

I'm no help at all but I wanted to say what a truly lovely mum you are.

I initially though the same but we had an audiology appt and all seems fine although auditory processing disorder is something I've looked into, not technically to do with hearing but now he processes sounds and words! X

HV referred us for for salt but I'm going to push the gp or perhaps try a different GP as it's so frustrating to keep being fobbed off everytime 😞 I feel, maybe call it mothers intuition but I do feel he will be autistic, I'm staying optimistic either way as I know so many ND children who seem to be flourishing and having great lives. Just would like a little more support as a mum in how I'm best to handle everything especially with the no understanding. I'd say developmentally he's around 10-12 months. I feel so awful even saying all these things about my child but I'm being honest and realistic, the charity bit is great advice I'd not even thought of this really as we don't have a definite diagnosis but il certainly look into this. Thank you x

Thank you, certainly is emotional we all just want the best for these little people don't we but the uncertainty is really difficult. Hope your LO is doing well x

Thank you, what a lovely comment ❤️ x

His lack of understanding is far more a concern than his lack of speech which I suspect you know.

With each month that goes past it becomes more of a significant delay so absolutely do you back to the GP and insist on a referral.

I'm so sorry your concerns have been ignored.

Speech isn't necessarily an alarm bell, my son had a few clear words at two and now he's four and he's a above where he should be. Some just take a little longer, at the time I was worried and he also loved to line things up! He's not autistic..
However, the other things you have noticed I would definitely flag up. Are these recent behaviours or has he never responded to his name etc?
Social skills again, some take a little longer so for me it would be the non verbal communication ie eye contact and responding to you

Honestly you’ve just described my autistic 2.5yo EXACTLY as in we could honestly have the same child.

we took him to a private audiologist just after he turned 2 because he didn’t respond to his name, simple instructions or seem to engage at all with the world around him. It felt like he was in his own bubble. A happy little chappy, loves bouncing and laughing but no speech and no engagement.

Here are some other features of my son incase it rings any bells

• Very intense about one TV show but no fussed about the others at all
• doesn't play with toys how they’re intended just likes to open/close things and spin stuff
• his only communication is physical and this can something be a bit rough if you’re not getting it quick enough
• Doesn't behave socially appropriately (like tries to climb up on the tables in cafes or pulls everything off shelves in supermarkets…etc)
• Doesn't point at stuff, wave or nod yes/no
• Doesn’t acknowledge when people (other than me) enter or exit the situation

Also doesn’t show empathy/imagination
like he’s never pretended to answer a phone or rocked a baby doll…those things wouldn’t even cross his mind.

Hi OP, he does sound like my eldest, who is now 4 and on the autism assessment pathway.

Definitely push for a referral to audiology for a hearing check though (HV did ours). DS has glue ear as well, and once that cleared up his speech and understanding did begin to improve. And his eating has started to get better since he was treated for constipation. So I guess what I'm saying is yes a development check is a good idea, but don't forget about physical/medical causes as well.

No advice, but want to echo another a poster. You sound like an amazing mum, and wishing you all the best for you and your little boy.

Push hard for an autism asesment. Some GPs will say it is too young but we got a diagnosis just before age 2. The diagnosis doesn't really change things much in terms of support unfortunately.
You should also push for regular SALT and there is a lot you can do yourself. I found the book 'More Than Words' by Hanen very helpful and you can look into things like floortime and intensive interaction.
You can apply for an EHCP yourself before he starts nursery, we got loads of stuff in place like regular SALT visits, occupational therapy and the local autism outreach team.
It's also worth checking if there is a local autism family group, as the parents in those usually know loads.
Your post really reminds me of me 3 years ago. I was pretty certain my son was autistic and was ok with it but wanted to do everything I could to help.
Of course he may not be autistic, but all of these things are helpful for development.
My son still needs a lot of help but his understanding and language are developing all the time and he now enjoys interacting with us and playing with us in his own way.

Same as the other posters, the way you talk about your son is really lovely and makes me think he’s landed in the right family. I’m a special needs teacher and it sounds to me as though all the advice above is good. I think you should probably be accessing the portage service and that you’ll want to be getting professional support so that if he needs to maybe go to a specialist school, he’ll have an EHCP in place nice and early to give you the most options. But definitely google Local Offer for your area. The health visitors should be really supportive with all of this. Best of luck.

Go back to your GP and ask for a referral to community paediatrics. Write a list of all the things you are concerned about and give it to the GP. My HV said she had never met a mum who wrong about something being awry.

Wow!! Are you sure we don't have the same child I could have wrote that list word for word!! The TV show one made me laugh....ours is Masha & the Bear. He is super intense and a bomb could go off when he's watching it and he wouldn't flinch but no interest in anything else! Also same no wave, clap, pointing etc and the imaginary play isn't something he does either he really only plays with cars or anything with wheels all the other toys get no attention. Eating out or food shop with him in tow is just a no no 🤣 how's your boy doing?? Xx

Obviously I don’t want to armchair diagnose but it sounds to me like he’s autistic and I would certainly brace yourself for that being the case and begin the process of looking into it.

He’s doing well, been seen by speech therapy and paediatrics now and has come on a fair bit. I find it hard to give him the input he needs and meet all of his needs. There’s so much ‘home work’ and it’s hard to manage his behaviour because he has a 17 month old sister who he finds quite distressing.
Shes developing neurotypically so always wants to play with him and be involved with him whilst he doesn’t really want that. Also managing them out and about is really tough because they’re so young. I wish I’d known the challenges he would face because I’d not have had such a close age gap I think.

x

He sounds like my boy who was diagnosed Autistic at 2 yrs 4 months.
I would always firstly advocate Occupational Therapy with an OT trained in sensory integration first. Without your sensory system in order everything else becomes a struggle.
It has helped my boy no end, he still struggles but his speech/language us much improved, he has less meltdowns, and recently we even ate out at a cafe which would have been impossible with him 6 months ago.
That and Hanen More Than Words, buy the book. It will help re communication.
To echo previous posters you sound like a lovely mum and because of that your boy will be fine, no matter the path ahead.

Your DS sounds very similar to my 2 year old grandson who, although hasn’t yet been officially diagnosed, we are 99.99% sure is autistic. My GS also flaps his hands and rocks back and forth. He also walks on tiptoe, but he does like to be cuddled……..a lot. 😊

@Thehonestbadger I sympathise with the sibling thing as my 6 year old really struggles to understand why her little brother doesn't want to interact or play. They could honestly be strangers he doesn't really make eye contact or give her the time of day haha! He very much just likes to do his own thing. It must be hard for you with a little one also! DS is my youngest but I'm not sure I could add another to the mix while navigating our new normal at the moment! X

Ahh that's fab! I bet he's a precious wee boy! My DS doesn't do cuddles but if I'm really lucky he will plonk himself on my lap for a few moment or stoke my face and I enjoy every second!! Good luck with getting a diagnosis and all the best for your GS x

You are describing my 2.5 year old. I was terrified of an autism diagnosis, like some pp have said to you on here. Now 6m later he knows the whole alphabet, every colour, number and animal (almost😂). He responds to his name now, is very affectionate, although still does have a lot of food anxiety. He just made a complete 180 over the course of a couple of months and everyone who knows him is so shocked. So definitely speak to your HV but just know that it isn't out of the realms of normal.

Wow what a little superstar! That's fab, these little people never fail to amaze us do they! X