Kids refusing to go to school

[WL2]

Hey has anyone else had the same problem. My 2 boys (7&5) point blank wont go to school. They literally kick/hit/scream/fake being sick so they don't have to go. I have spoken to teachers and they have said everything is fine that they get along great with all the class etc. It's hard to get them both sorted and out the door when they are both like that because they are very strong and I'm on my own as there dad is in work. Has anyone any tips on how I could hopefully get this resolved.

I have a daughter whose like this and it’s an awful start to the morning, so you have my sympathy.

Mines only 3 so I tip toe around the house, wake her when it’s time to leave, slide her in the car, then have the childminder dress her but I’m conscious that wouldn’t work for your boys as you could hardly dress them in the car.

What's your morning like? Do they willingly get dressed in their uniform? Does the refusal come as you're trying to leave or are they reluctant all morning?

Do they have tablets or games consoles? And if so, do they play them in the morning?

Have you asked them why when they're calm? In the heat of refusal you will get nothing out of them, its all about conflict and force, try talking to them when they're not about to go to school.

School refusers are usually ASD. Have they been assessed?

Ime serious consequences now will pay off in the future. No TV or tech before school.. Early nights. No TV before bed or tech. Reduction in pocket money /treats for messing around before school.. Be tough now op.

@Comedycook it's literally all morning. Refusal of everything

My kids have always hated school, and no they don’t play consoles in the morning 🙄 not all kids like school

But is there something they are enjoying at home that they don't want to leave? Making home as tedious as possible, especially in the morning with no screens, no devices of games of any kind on a weekday before 4pm EVER EVER EVER etc. Mine are infinitely worse to get out the door if they have device time.

But also, WHY do they not want to go to school? What happens at school that makes them want to prefer to be home with you? Is there something that makes them uncomfortable or frightened, or overwhelms or angers them?

They're very little still. I guess they're in Reception and Year 2?

Do you work outside the home?

My son was like this. It was horrible. Have you tried asking why they don't want to go? Is something wrong at school or are they just not wanting to leave you?

Do they have sn? It's very unusual for primary age children to dislike school unless they are being bullied or something is seriously wrong.

Is this true? I’d be interested in any further information you have on this- genuine question.

Any additional needs? Morning routine- do they get enough sleep? It is unusual for a primary school age child to hate school with such extreme reactions.

Yeah, it’s usually true.

l used to be a teacher, it’s a well known thing in education. They can’t cope with the social interaction and sensory overload.

Theyre very young to be doing this. My 4 year old will sometimes get a bit weepy and want to stay with me but I just physically dress her and hand her over to the teacher with lots of reassurance that ill be back later. The teacher let's her take a Teddy to school too to help.

You need to involve the school

Is home educating an option, even temporarily. I dont know about other areas, but theres loads of home edders in my town and tonnes of activities.

My oldest two are autistic but my 3rd isn’t he has just always hated school he’s hated it the most out of all of them, definitely not autistic, he use to scream his head off every morning when I dropped him he still hates it and won’t speak to anyone at school so doesn’t have any friends.

My oldest two are autistic but my 3rd isn’t he has just always hated school he’s hated it the most out of all of them, definitely not autistic, he use to scream his head off every morning when I dropped him he still hates it and won’t speak to anyone at school so doesn’t have any friends

He sounds very much ASD to me

Because he doesn’t like school? Ok then. Well he’s not. Literally zero other traits.

Because he doesn’t have any friends…

Is school refusal more common in boys @ArseInTheCoOpWindow ?

It can be very subtle. There’s different degrees of it. If you have 2 ASD and one who hates school with no friends surely that’s a red flag?

Im not being nasty, but l was a teacher for years. And that’s what it sounds like.

I think it is. More boys are diagnosed with it. Girls are able to cope somewhat with the social stuff.