Do babies ever get easier?

[Helena1993]

Just.. This...
My baby is 6 months old and while things have definitely gotten easier, it still feels relentless. I still struggle with many night wakings and I just feel like I lost my identity in the process of becoming a mum. I don't do anything I used to do.
I wake up from a difficult night and do the laundry, dishes etc. while entertaining my son. This goes on for the whole day and then we go down to bed and have another difficult night. I'm starting to get depressed. I cried today because I feel trapped.
A friend said it will never get better.... Is it true?

I thought I could never go through it again but after a long gap I wanted another and she was a much easier baby. A bit harder as a toddler though but I think toddlers are easier than babies. They don't need quite as much carrying, they start to speak so are less of a mystery and once they've cracked potty training you don't need to take a nappy bag/travel potty everywhere.

I've started to sleep train and baby only woke up once tonight. I mean ONCE...!!!! I can't believe it. It makes me so happy I could cry haha! Jk... Or... Is it a joke?

My partner is a crybaby. He had the baby one night and demanded to lay in for another 2 hrs then took a bath for 1 hr and I'm wondering where I am in the equation.

I'll need to pressure him more. He didn't take care of the baby for even 5 minutes yesterday.

Baby sleeps every 2 hrs for like an hour. Sometimes a long second nap. I hate how easily babies are affected by a change in nap times. It's crazy. I'm becoming so obsessed with nap times. And I hate that I can't really leave the house for more than 2 hrs because she will need to sleep. Can't wait for her to drop to 2 and then 1 nap a day.

I'm getting out more. It helps SO much. And I much appreciate your help everyone!!

And I'm doing some counseling next month. Hope things get better. But suddenly my little one is starting to become more interesting and less of an annoying potato. Babies are lucky they are cute.

She is so active and I can't wait for her to start crawling (I'll probably regret thinking that)

You don't have to stay at home for naps. We used to do the morning one (or middle nap when she had three) out and about - she'd either nap in the pram or in the sling at toddler group whilst I ate cake.
We had side access to the house and a secure garden so I'd push the pram home and then leave her sleeping on the patio in the pram whilst I had a cup of tea watching out the window!

Then did afternoon nap at home.

The problem is mostly your partners here. Mum's aren't designed to single handedly care for a baby. Everyone needs a support network.

If I ever have another baby which I don't think I will (99.9% sure) then I'll make sure to have more people who support me and take the baby for a couple hours.

I know exactly where you're coming from. I hated the 6-12 month baby stage with DD. She was whiny during the day, as she wanted to stand and walk, but needed assistance. It got better when she could crawl, but she still wanted to stand. Worst of all, this was right at the start of the pandemic. So no baby groups, no family, no parks, and absolutely no help. The saving grace was our walks to the supermarket, and DH working from home. Then there were the nights.... Oh god the nights. DD rejected DH entirely, so no help there. Plus she didn't sleep through until ~16 months. She also only contact napped in the day until she dropped to 1 nap at around 9-10 months. She would fall asleep in the pram or car, but when movement stopped, so did the sleep. I always wanted more than one (3 to be exact), but I was sure that was it....

But then things did get better. I went back to work part time, with DS at nursery, so I had time to myself again. A huge turning point was DD learning to walk. Her sleep got better at night until she eventually slept all the way through. And she could entertain herself! And not need my help quite so much! Then she started talking, which is wonderful. She's 3 now, and my bestest buddy.

So I had another.

We're currently deep in the 6-12 months hell. DS is 8 months. He isn't crawling yet, but he's not far off. His sleep was amazing from 6 weeks until 6 months. Then hellish until 7.5 months. It's getting better again now (thank goodness), but it put me on anti depressants. I live for the times we get out and about to baby groups. I know things will get better gradually, but I really do loathe this stage.

I still want a third.

I think it gets easier and more exhausting every now and then. Not all parents find all phases of babies and toddlers equally exhausting. I know a mother who finds children under 1 year the easiest. I myself found the phase between 6 and 14 months the most exhausting. Since then, my child has been more demanding, but also more independent and content.

For me it was also important to work part-time again. I thought it would fill me up to be a mother 24/7. But it is a relief for me not to be responsible for childcare all the time. Look what is good for you too!

Some parts get easier some parts get more difficult. That’s basically parenting

You want a third? You like playing with fire 🔥
For me it's hard to believe things will improve enough for me to ever enjoy being a mum or consider a second.
But that's probably my depression talking.
Dont want my baby to be an only child though.

She's trying to crawl and frustrated because she can't. Also teething atm.
And I don't like guessing why she cries. It probably gets better once she can tell me what's wrong. She can't really play or communicate with me.

It really does. The baby days almost broke me. The problems now they're older are different but I find them much easier to be around.

This is so true.

It depends which ages you enjoy really op.
I loved the baby stage.
Toddlers were demanding in a different way.
When I felt I could go out & do other stuff, I missed them at first!
Life has changed yes, but it does get easier.
Mine are tweens now & I really miss the cute little mini stages.
But am also loving watching them getting their independence & finding out who they are becoming. If that makes sense?!

But babies are soooooo boring and unrewarding. I want some action. I'm dying from boredom.

@Helena1993 Your partner is making this really horrific for you. Can you talk to him and fix that? Is he willing? If not, have you got anyone else you could rely on to help?

My baby is nearly a year old. He has never slept through. I didn’t sleep train, and wouldn’t, having done my research, but I know that has had trade offs in terms of sleep. I did go through a period of wondering if I’d made my own life harder then, but of my NCT group, the four that sleep trained now sleep around the same as those that didn’t, so I think it’s all luck anyway! But my partner does do his fair share, and I’d be screwed if he didn’t.

Between that, getting out often to baby classes and to meet friends, and going back to work, I feel pretty good and enjoy him. He walks now, and gets in everywhere, and has strong opinions; but he’s very interactive and loving, too. There’s been brilliant parts to every phase, and harder parts.

He’s my first and so I’m no expert, but I’d definitely prioritise trying to get help and support to find the good bits in each month, rather than waiting for it to get “better”.

She keeps telling me it won't get easier. It's so annoying.
My baby is 6 months old and already much easier. Why would I believe that it won't get even easier from now on

Who's she, OP?

My childhood friend who has a 2 year old.

Sounds like she's miserable herself and spreading it around with a big stick to try and make herself feel better. Does she have form for that? I'd ignore her.

She actually seems like a pretty honest person

Maybe, but she's certainly not very kind.

Does she only have the one child? Because if she does only have the one, she's barely ahead of you. She might just have had a tough baby, that has become a difficult toddler. Or she might be a person that doesn't enjoy babies/toddlers. Either way, she doesn't have your baby, and isn't you. Also, she doesn't have a clue what an older toddler is like. Never mind a primary school child, tween, or teenager. She might really enjoy those stages.

Glad things have gotten better for you in any case OP.

There's a nice bit at about a year old

She only has one child.. Oh well I won't listen to her... It's interesting she ways those things without me even asking for her experience

It wouldn’t be half as difficult if you had a supportive partner, I struggled for the first 6-7 months but luckily had an amazing partner who shared the load. You haven’t got a baby problem you’ve got a man child problem

Any ideas how I can change him? I feel so much resentment towards him