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Original poster

Potty training FAILING

37 replies

Cait73 · 27/10/2022 14:03

Day 4 only 3 successful hits on the potty, about 20 misses I don't know what I'm doing wrong

He's 4.5 chose pants and potty got sticker chart and a reward he really wants

I follow him round with the potty, I've tried asking him a lot I've tried leaving him to it nothing works

I'm loosing the will to live

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Original poster
Cait73 · 27/10/2022 14:21

Oh he's 3.5 NOT 4.5!! Not that it matters he's definitely ready I don't understand what's going wrong

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SnarkyBag · 27/10/2022 14:23

Ditch the potty just use the loo. 3 days in the house, plenty of drinks, pants on only and take to the toilet every 15 to 30 minutes. If there’s no success leave it another month and then repeat

FlounderingFruitcake · 27/10/2022 14:30

Stop over promoting and don’t expect self initiation yet either. You need to take the lead so given his age I’d ditch the potty, use the toilet instead and take him every 15 minutes whilst going hard on the fluids until you start getting success. Also I’d go bottomless for now so you can spot an accident as it starts and encourage holding it to finish on the loo. I’d also be wary of bribery or sticker charts- it can work for some but in others it can be counterproductive as it doesn’t encourage them to fully empty their bladder because lots of small pees actually gives them more rewards!

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BlahBlah36 · 27/10/2022 14:37

Have you tried any books for him to get him used to the idea?
Pirate Pete’s potty book and Hey Duggee Potty Badge we’re both really helpful in preparing him. I think a read through of Pirate Pete can be seen on YouTube.

We tried with DS and he had no interest at all. We did the books, and waited a few weeks then tried again and he picked it up really fast.

Good luck OP.

Original poster
Cait73 · 27/10/2022 14:41

@SnarkyBag not left the house since Sunday

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Original poster
Cait73 · 27/10/2022 14:42

@BlahBlah36 been reading Pirate Pete for months, he's actually been excited about potty training I thought we were all set

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Original poster
Cait73 · 27/10/2022 14:44

@FlounderingFruitcake the plan was to go bottomless for the week but he's uncomfortable naked and the stupid puppy keeps chasing him if he's naked lol

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Whinge · 27/10/2022 14:45

Other posters have suggested it but you haven't responded to their comments, so i'm just going to ask. OP have you tried using the toilet?

A lot of older children find the potty uncomfortable. The toilet (with a seat if needed) is a lot easier. Also it's where you go to the toilet, so there's sometimes an element of wanting to be more grown up like mummy and daddy.

Original poster
Cait73 · 27/10/2022 14:52

@Whinge yes, sorry, tried the toilet have a nice padded seat and a step but he's choosing to use the potty/chair he chose. Monday (day one) he used it 3 times by himself without prompting

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cantforthelifeofme · 27/10/2022 14:53

Bribe with chocolate?
That was the only thing that worked for us. Little choc buttons.

user267451 · 27/10/2022 14:53

I would keep going for a few more days, it might just not have clicked yet. I would also have gone mad staying in the house by now so would probably walk to the park taking a potty & a couple of change of clothes. I also found the less pressure I put on the more successful it was.

Whinge · 27/10/2022 14:57

Cait73 · 27/10/2022 14:52

@Whinge yes, sorry, tried the toilet have a nice padded seat and a step but he's choosing to use the potty/chair he chose. Monday (day one) he used it 3 times by himself without prompting

So he hasn't used the potty at all since Monday? As you said in your first post only 3 sucessful hits. If he's not using the potty at all then you need to be taking him to sit on it / the toilet regularly during the day, as that will give him the chance to sucessfully use it.

Original poster
Cait73 · 27/10/2022 14:58

When I say we haven't left the house I mean apart from walking our dog, which we have to do together as we live by ourselves

Day one took portable potty which he asked to use mid walk and did I was so chuffed, not used it since but not had any accidents on walks either

Can't bribe with chocolate or sweets I didn't give him any sugar 'till he was 3 and he's just not interested. That's why we went for the sticker chart he loves getting his dinosaur stickers and when he's got 10 he's getting a new Tonie he's been after.

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TokenGinger · 27/10/2022 15:37

Is daddy around? I only ask, because we recently toilet trained our DS, also 3.5, and he kept having misses on the toilet as his willy pointed outwards, but after spotting that daddy stands up to do a wee, he's been very driven by stand up wee wees because it's what big boys do!

FlounderingFruitcake · 27/10/2022 15:42

Cait73 · 27/10/2022 14:52

@Whinge yes, sorry, tried the toilet have a nice padded seat and a step but he's choosing to use the potty/chair he chose. Monday (day one) he used it 3 times by himself without prompting

Do you mean that he hasn’t sat on it since Monday? It’s great he took himself 3 times but it’s all still very new to him and you need to help him be successful by taking him regularly. I’d start with every 15 minutes until he goes, then leave it 30 minutes, after 30 minutes take him every 15 again until he goes again. And repeat.

Lottieskeeper · 27/10/2022 15:49

Try not to get disheartened by the misses. Your early on in your toilet training journey and I know that when I was 4 days in in September with my 3.5 Ds I was ready to throw in the towel.
I cried to my husband that I was a useless mum because he just wasn't getting it.
But now 5 weeks later my DS is brilliant with using the toilet or potty. He's actually more reliable than his older sister it just took a little while to click.
It does feel like you're in jail for a bit though. But it won't last he will get it in the end.

Original poster
Cait73 · 27/10/2022 15:52

@FlounderingFruitcake he sits on it regularly I've tried distracting him by playing and reading but he says it's uncomfortable gets up and wets himself

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Cait73 · 27/10/2022 15:53

@TokenGinger he's my grandson so no daddy around

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Cait73 · 27/10/2022 15:55

@Lottieskeeper thank you that's very encouraging, I'll keep going for sure because I fully believe he is ready he's a very forward little man only thing he's "late" with is toilet training but I think it's part me being lazy, we'll get there

Hopefully soon!!

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FlounderingFruitcake · 27/10/2022 15:58

Tbh unless he’s very small for his age then at 3 and a half a potty is going to be uncomfortable, no judgment there, but just a fact that little potties are designed with more like 2YOs in mind. Hence why I’d encourage the toilet with a comfy padded seat. But don’t be afraid to resort to an episode of Peppa pig or whatever his fave TV show is to get him to do a proper try.

Original poster
Cait73 · 27/10/2022 16:18

@FlounderingFruitcake he's got a big chair/potty it's not your standard toddler potty, but you may very well be right I'll try taking him to the toilet fresh tomorrow 🙏🏼

He's not sat on the toilet for 6 months, he said that was uncomfortable too, he says most things he doesn't want to do are uncomfortable lol he's hard to read

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Original poster
Cait73 · 27/10/2022 16:19

@FlounderingFruitcake and I think he's a good size 3.5 as he's already in age 4-5 clothes

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SatinHeart · 27/10/2022 16:29

We used a timer. When the timer went off he had to try for a wee. One choc button for trying without fuss and another one for any wee produced. Gradually increased the length of time on the timer. We also used training pants and never did the bottomless or commando thing.

purplemama1990 · 27/10/2022 16:44

Firstly, I would ignore everything online that says you can toilet train a toddler in 3 days... I got so frustrated when that wasn't the case for my toddler. After talking to others, I realised it was pretty normal and started to relax a bit. Yes, it was exhausting doing a wash load of all his trousers and pants every single evening ready to re-wear the next day, but it just became part of the routine.

Once I started to just relax and not be so stressed, it eventually just clicked with him suddenly after almost 2 months. Kept having the odd accident for another month, and since then he has been brilliant, accidents, and always tells me when he needs to go.

It's hard when everything online says "3 days potty training!" when that isn't true for a lot of children. Just go at the pace your child needs and if for any reason you want to put him back in nappies for a couple of days, that's fine. We put his nappy back on for a few days when travelling as it just wouldn't have been reasonable to be washing so many pairs of trousers!

I also resorted to stickers for going to the toilet after a while too, bought a pack of like a million stickers on amazon for a few pounds. His dad would tell him I'm going to go toilet and I'm going to get a sticker! So toddler would end up rushing to the toilet to get a sticker first... not sure if that's a good way to go about it, but it definitely helped with us!

Anyway, just keep at it, be patient, and he will get there eventually! We all learn to use the toilet eventually!

purplemama1990 · 27/10/2022 16:46

Also, I think my little one had trouble holding in his pee. He would have accidents like 10 times a day, plus going on the toilet another 5 or 6 times... I'm not sure if it's just he has a bigger bladder now, or understands how to hold it in, but he only uses the toilet around 6 - 8 times per day now.